Found out a member of my team has badmouthed me to other departments

[flyingtartar]

I've slept badly because of this and just don't know how to handle it.

To be brief, a member of my team did some work with another dept yesterday and messaged me in the evening to say that other members of this dept who have done some work with a newish recruit we have were all saying how this recruit isn't being supported by me or my team. I am devastated - I took this person on and have email after email in which I offer support and take her duties down a bit and she always replies grateful and says she's fine etc. We are doing a lot of wfh/staggered being in so it is difficult to manage everyone, plus we are short-staffed, but I have done my absolute best.

The other team don't know me well but we've all worked in the place for best part of 10 years and I'm shocked they would think I just wouldn't support someone new - I thought I had a better reputation than that.

Btw, the person who let me know is my second and an old friend - she wasn't shit-stirring and was actually really upset as she is someone who has offered this person a lot of support and actually done more face-to-face with her than me.

I would like to speak to all concerned today - not in an emotional/angry way, and tell new recruit to be honest with me if she's not fine rather than saying she is then telling others she's not being supported. I'm less sure about the others and whether to go higher with it. Such an awful year for us and this has floored me.

Any thoughts anyone?

We have a new member in our team and I know she’s found it hard and probably does feel unsupported. I don’t think that’s necessarily our fault....it’s more the current wfh circumstances. It’s tough. She knows she can ring me /email me with any questions (and does) and I chat to her on the phone most days. But she herself has said it’s not the same as being in an office surrounded by your colleagues. And it isn’t.

Do you do anything like an informal weekly online catch-up? We do this and I think it helps more junior members. If they have any little niggles which they don’t think warrants a specific phone call it gives them the opportunity to raise it. Plus it helps with “team building” even if we’re just having a chat about rubbish for 30 mins.

Do you do anything like an informal weekly online catch-up? We do this and I think it helps more junior members. If they have any little niggles which they don’t think warrants a specific phone call it gives them the opportunity to raise it. Plus it helps with “team building” even if we’re just having a chat about rubbish for 30 mins.

I am fairly new in a very technical role, and I have pushed for this. There are quite a few new people and we are all told we can call any time. But nothing, nothing replaces the overhearing of other people's work questions for helping to absorb info and to also normalise not knowing what to do.

Our informal catch ups are brilliant, they really help, and the staff who are very quiet are learning by listening whilst those of us who ask questions get immediate support.

I started a new role in January WFH and whilst my mentor and my manager have been super supportive and have answered any questions I have and are always available to me, it has been a struggle because it is complicated work and working from home and having to Skype for help etc makes you want to push through and work it out for yourself. I do feel supported but I know if we are in the office it would be different at 6 months on I'd be significantly more competent in the more complex parts than I am at the moment.

I really think you need to arrange a call or a face to face meeting with this person next week and go through their job role and description again, asking where they feel they are on everything (we do novice, learning, able, confident for each task) and for those that they aren't feeling confident on you can arrange more support for.

I'm definitely open to the possibility that she genuinely feels unsupported

You don't sound like you are, when you consider her literally saying "she isn't being supported" as a possibility that she isn't supported.

She's not bad mouthing you, she's saying she's unsupported, your methods of support are simply not the methods of support she needs, she may not even identify them. The very first thing you need to do is realise that the only problem here is her not being supported, and you need to find out what she needs and how you can get her there, you're taking it all way too personally and seem to think there's blame, when there are just things to solve.

OP I think you need to look at what an induction in an office environment would look like and then actually replicate it.

If you were both in an office together you would spend actual time with new recruit helping them.

You would likely sit and have breaks or lunch together and chat.

You can sit and say it’s not possible as much as you want, but in an office environment it would be possible.

And being brutal, recruiting a new member of staff to replace new recruit is going to take up more time, and leave you more short staffed. So in the long term, investing now, pays off for you moving forwards.

My son receives email after email from his manager, and he definitely does not feel supported. He feels harassed and undervalued. The one to one meetings are frequently lists of why has he not done something (things which are logged such as not be able to complete due to senior member absence, sickness from other colleagues at the same level as him so he is covering their work as well, issues with corporate IT system) - none of this was an issue when he was working in the office, and he works far longer hours and more efficiently working from home. He has said all of this to his manager, but nothing changes. She clearly has had little management training and her way of working is to continuously use the stick and never the carrot.