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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be a bit annoyed?

24 replies

Candyfloss101 · 27/05/2021 22:45

Tonight I decided to give the kitchen a clean and left dp to watch our 3 month old. About half way through I start to hear ds cry but continue to do what I was doing though I could hear dp on the xbox while ds was still screaming so I thought he would've picked him up and gave him a cuddle, but more minutes pass and he's still screaming and I walk into the sitting room and there's ds on his cushion screaming while dp is sat head set fully on shouting into the mic to whoever he's playing with, leaving ds just to scream. AIBU to be annoyed and think his priority should have been ds.

OP posts:
1Morewineplease · 27/05/2021 22:47

Have a little chat with him.
Or an absolute bollocking!

anothernewtop · 27/05/2021 22:49

AIBU to be annoyed and think his priority should have been ds.

Of course not. What did he say? Why did he think it was acceptable?

UpToMyElbowsInDiapers · 27/05/2021 22:50

I would be furious, but also feel really sad about that. Is your DP not keen on bonding with his DC?

AnneLovesGilbert · 27/05/2021 22:50

Annoyed?! Are you taking the piss?

He’s neglecting your baby. He didn’t let him wimper so he could have a wee or sip of a drink, he let him scream while he played fucking games.

He’s disgusting.

Pumpkintopf · 27/05/2021 22:52

YANBU. Of course your baby should have taken priority. Of course.

Original poster
Candyfloss101 · 27/05/2021 22:53

@anothernewtop I didn't even say anything to him, I picked up ds gave him a cuddle and walked out the room until he calmed down, then I got him ready for bed and put him down for the night and I've not been back downstairs since.

OP posts:
CoffeeCakey · 27/05/2021 22:58

YANBU However he treats his son is what his son will think love is.

BedknobsNoBroomsticks · 27/05/2021 22:58

You need to go back down and give him what for. He was neglecting his child.

Are video games a problem for him, does he play it for hours on end, spend a lot of money on it, let everything else come second to it, if so it sounds like an addition.

CoffeeCakey · 27/05/2021 22:59

The screaming is also not good.

KellyJonesLeatherTrousers · 27/05/2021 23:01

You did the right thing by taking your ds out of the situation without arguing with your dh. However, I’d have been straight back downstairs to ask dh why he wasn’t giving ds his attention when he needed it. Grown up gamers neglecting their real life responsibilities, it’s unacceptable.

VodkaSlimline · 27/05/2021 23:03

Omg! I would have ripped the headset off him! YANBU.

Original poster
Candyfloss101 · 27/05/2021 23:06

@BedknobsNoBroomsticks
He will play it for an hour or so one or two of the days he's at work, then if he's not at work the next day he will play it from when I take ds to bed to anywhere between 11 and 1. He doesn't spend money on it. Today I was also annoyed because I get very little time to myself and I told dp I wanted to watch the friends reunion in piece (without the kids) did I get the one thing I asked for? Nope. Might sound selfish but after a week of having the kids by myself I'm demented.

OP posts:
CroneAVirus · 27/05/2021 23:09

Omg. I think the moment I laid eyes on that scene would be the moment any love I had for him evaporated and my vagina slammed shut.

I know that sounds extreme but really, it would kill it dead for me. From then on it would always be a case of not ‘if’ but ‘when’ I’d leave him.

AnneLovesGilbert · 27/05/2021 23:10

Of course that wasn’t selfish. Is he the dad of all the kids? Has he always been such a selfish lazy arsehole?

Hankunamatata · 27/05/2021 23:11

I would have turned off the tv. Put dc in his lap and walked out the room

Original poster
Candyfloss101 · 27/05/2021 23:15

@AnneLovesGilbert yes we have 2 ds, 3 month old and 5yr old. No he hasn't, we've been together 10 years and this is the most annoyed I've been with him, we have ups and downs like everyone else.

OP posts:
katy1213 · 27/05/2021 23:24

I'd throw his damn toys in the bin.

Original poster
Candyfloss101 · 27/05/2021 23:31

Just spoke to him and apparently he tried to settle him, but he wouldn't stop so he just left him to scream it out 😕

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 27/05/2021 23:45

@Candyfloss101

Just spoke to him and apparently he tried to settle him, but he wouldn't stop so he just left him to scream it out 😕
He chose to neglect him because he preferred playing games. That’s what happened.
fifteenmillionmerits · 28/05/2021 01:32

Of course YANBU. He can't just ignore a tiny baby in favour of a video game. Not surprised you were so annoyed.

MrsKeats · 28/05/2021 08:49

I'm with katy
What an idiot

Lagomtransplant · 28/05/2021 09:00

A bit annoyed, you say? I'd have roasted him on the spot, tore the game into the nearest cupboard, sent him upstairs to keep the baby settled, made myself a cuppa and enjoyed the Friends reunion under the strict orders that he is to finish the deep cleaning of the kitchen in the morning, BEFORE WORK, if he's to ever get a cooked meal out of it again.

Lagomtransplant · 28/05/2021 09:01

Just reread my post. I'm turning into my mother 😱

bloodyhell19 · 28/05/2021 09:05

If he wants to behave like a child with no responsibilities then I'd treat him as such & remove the games and the PS4 or whatever until he earns them back.

He neglected his child so he could play his games. A 3 month old doesn't scream for no reason. He's a selfish arsehole.

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