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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to keep DD off school for 2 days or is her school being over the top?

47 replies

ECJW · 27/05/2021 16:20

So I have to have a 24 hour PH test done in a few weeks to see whether I am a suitable candidate for what will literally be life changing surgery. My symptoms are so debilitating that I have no quality of life, so want to have these tests done ASAP to hopefully be put on the surgical waiting list.

The closest hospital that can do these tests is about 30/40 miles away where the rest of my family live. I would have to go around 9am on a Thursday morning to have the nasal tube fitted for the test and then go back around the same time on a Friday morning to have it removed.

I want to stay nearby to the hospital firstly because I don’t want to have to drive there and back with a tube fitted which is probably going to be extremely uncomfortable and also if anything goes wrong with the tube within the 24 hours my local hospital are not equipped to deal with it and it means that I would have basically gone through all of that for nothing and would have to have it repeated again at a later date, not to mention having to dash 30/40 miles with something wrong (I am a single parent living alone with DD and nearest family are 30/40 miles away).

My plan is to stay with my family Wednesday night until the tube is removed on Friday, and obviously DD would have to come with me because no-one could have her at my house because everyone works.

I have let the school know today so I have give them around 6 weeks notice and explained all of this to them but they got quite moody, especially her teacher who ignored my emails after that.

AIBU or is DD’s school just being over the top?

OP posts:

Smarshian · 27/05/2021 17:44

If she is 5 YADNBU

itsgettingwierd · 27/05/2021 17:48

@ECJW

Thank you everyone for your replies! DD is 5 and is in a special needs school so very small class and because of COVID haven’t had chance to make friends with any of the parents. We recently moved into the area from London (about 150 miles difference) so we have no friends in the new area x

Jeez. You'd think a SS would have even more understanding of the necessity of medical treatment and ensuring the correct childcare is provided.

The one I work in would go as far far as seeing if we could help support you by contacting SW or something or seeing if we could help you fight for respite whilst recovering.

spaceghett0 · 27/05/2021 17:53

Just keep her off. Your health is more important. Sometimes schools can't see the wood for the trees. They're under a lot of pressure, it's not personal. Good luck with your tests.

DistrictCommissioner · 27/05/2021 17:56

She’s only 5! Just keep her off.

DeflatedGinDrinker · 27/05/2021 18:00

Don't worry about it OP. My son had surgery which had a long recovery period and he had just half that time off school and they acted rude like that like I'd done it on purpose. I don't care what they think anymore. Do what you need to.

DeflatedGinDrinker · 27/05/2021 18:01

All they care about is the attendence record.

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 27/05/2021 18:05

especially her teacher who ignored my emails after that.

Given you’ve only told them today, how many e-mails have you sent the teacher?

Howshouldibehave · 27/05/2021 18:05

When you say you emailed the special school teacher today who has become moody and ignored your emails, what exactly do you mean?

I have been teaching, in meetings or marking all day-I have just got home and haven’t looked at any parental emails yet. I would be very pissed off if a parent thought i was being moody and ignoring them about an absence query which should have been sent to the school office to forward to the head who would decide to authorise it or not!!

Trytothinkofaname · 27/05/2021 18:06

Good grief she is 5! Not year 10 with GSCEs next year. Your DD's school are being utterly pathetic. Keep her off without question. Ask for work if you really want to - but to be honest I really would not fret if she didn't do any.

It would have been lovely for DD's school to have sent a supportive email back to you. But they didn't. Which is tbh a bit shit of them.

Ignore them. You need make no further efforts communicating over it.

They have been twats.

I really hope the procedure works for you.

misspattylacosta · 27/05/2021 18:07

How old is your DD?

I am planning on take all my kids away for long weekends whatever the school think, so I really cannot see how a medical emergency would even be an issue.

Unless it's in the middle of her exams and staying with someone else would help!

misspattylacosta · 27/05/2021 18:08

DD is 5

cross-post
Good grief, just.. go. Total non-issue!

Howshouldibehave · 27/05/2021 18:09

Your DD's school are being utterly pathetic

Really?!

The OP has emailed the teacher-who will have been teaching-several times today about a date in 6 weeks time, and hasn’t yet heard anything. How is that the school being ‘utterly pathetic’?!

Lindy2 · 27/05/2021 18:34

At 5 most children in other countries aren't even in formal school. It won't do her Ebay harm at all.

Stick to your plans. You've informed the school so you don't need any more communication with them on this.

I hope the procedure goes well.

Lindy2 · 27/05/2021 18:36

education not Ebay 😂

I'm clearly doing too much online shopping according to my auto correct.

littlepattilou · 27/05/2021 18:38

YANBU. The school are being unreasonable, and mean and petty and RUDE.

Keep her off, and all the best xxx

flumposie · 27/05/2021 18:49

Not a case of the school being rude. Give them time to reply. Also a general teacher can't authorise this, it would need to go to the Head teacher.

Howshouldibehave · 27/05/2021 18:51

OP-speak to the office or the head!!

PyjamaFan · 27/05/2021 18:53

Poor teacher. No wonder people are leaving the profession.

fourminutestosavetheworld · 27/05/2021 19:09

I'm a teacher. I think this is a perfectly acceptable reason to keep your child off school. The only reason for any tetchiness from me would be if you often kept her off school or emailed very frequently.

I know mn thinks schools care very much about their attendance data but the only time my school get arsey about attendance is when we're worried about the child.

LolaSmiles · 27/05/2021 19:13

The school aren’t being unreasonable, mean, petty or rude just because the class teacher hasn’t responded to emails during the teaching day about authorising an absence in 6 weeks for which a class teacher would NOT be able to authorise anyway!
I agree with this.
There's no issue with your reason for keeping her off, but most teachers don't sit on their emails all day, and authorising absence wouldn't be done by the teacher.

toocold54 · 27/05/2021 19:26

YANBU. Just phone in sick that way no one can get moody.

YABU to expect the teacher to be able to read your emails on the same day. And chances are she’s forwarded them to the person who approves absences so it’s them that hadn’t got back to you.

lazylinguist · 27/05/2021 19:41

YANBU at all. But YABU to think the teacher is ignoring your emails if you only sent the request today!

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