My other half works long days through the week and every weekend. Some weeks with only one day off. He is a member of a local sports team. We have 3 children. 7 years, 2 years and a 5 month old baby. Through the week he helps out with things like cooking, cleaning and childcare sometimes but it’s not set in stone. No rota etc.
My AIBU question is am I being unreasonable to expect more? I’m a SAHM and it’s expected of me to cook, clean and childcare. The sport activity meets three times a week from 5-8pm meaning the bath and bedtimes for the younger two fall to me every night usually because of work etc. He does help out some nights and baths the baby before he leaves and then I can just pop him in bed. The problem with this is sometimes he only sleeps for an hour or two then wakes and is pretty much full on until we go to bed when I just lay with him until he falls asleep. The elder toddler will sleep fine but has rough patches like they all do. After this so from 8pm we usually eat as a couple and watch some tv etc. I get so irritated by all of this I feel like I never have any time - he does sports practice at home every day. He works sometimes until 11pm after being away from home all day. Some days he will work 9-5pm come home shower and go to sports meeting. Is this me being unreasonable.
Now for his good points - he will do childcare ie nappies, sometimes gets up in the mornings so I can sleep if we have had a rough night, not much cleaning but will help if asked, cooks sometimes but never set in stone.
I feel like everything works around these sports meetings because they are not debatable - he doesn’t ever not go - I get I’m a SAHM but sometimes I just want to relax and have a wine without having to have the baby on me and live most of the time on my own.
We’ve been married for 14 years now and it’s just really hard to work out if it’s me being delusional or this is an issue.