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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say they cant come over

42 replies

Hannahgirl · 26/05/2021 19:01

I generally dont know if aibu.
My sister came come from hospital yesterday following sepis brought on by surgery. She has temporary moved in with me as she needs looking after. She cant ahower cook or even move much etc
Mil and sil have booked a hotel and are planning to come up at the weekend planned weeks ago. My sister is currently on the sofa as its the only place she can get remotely comfortable. Shes still in a lot of pain. I have asked dh if it would be ok if they dont come to the house as my sister doesn't know them and is very vulnerable and emotional just now. He says its not far and mil will be annoyed. At this point i dont care about mil one bit ( major back story) my sister is mu concern.
Aibu

OP posts:
CoffeeCakey · 27/05/2021 11:59

And most people can't just move their sofa somewhere else how big is your house?!

pussycatlickinglollyices · 27/05/2021 12:47

YANBU.
DH can take the kids and meet them out somewhere.
Your sis is your priority.
Your MIL will have to suck it up.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 27/05/2021 13:13

I can understand how they are disappointed if they have had it planned for a long time. DH needs to take the DC to see them, although I do think you need to be a bit nicer than saying he can sod off and see them. He is happy enough to give up your sofa for however long your relative needs it.

Sceptre86 · 27/05/2021 13:36

I think you are both being unreasonable. It is short notice if they are coming up this weekend and they probably will be annoyed. Your sister could move to another room whilst they are visiting. She might feel like an inconvenience, she might not but if she doesn't live with you normally surely she would still be greatful for the help and support.

Your partner is being unreasonable too as whilst his mum, sister and her boyfriend should be able to come and spend time with you it is not unreasonable to ask them to stay elsewhere so your sister can recuperate in peace. As a one off he could book a hotel for them or ask them if they would be willing to. It should have been discussed as soon as your sister came to stay with you.

hardboiledeggs · 27/05/2021 16:37

YANBU at all. Why they are still even considering it is beyond me.

spiderlight · 27/05/2021 16:48

Of course you're not being unreasonable. Your sister is the absolute priority here. Your DH can take the kids to meet them at the hotel and go out somewhere for the day.

AdelindSchade · 27/05/2021 16:55

If Mil gets annoyed shd is clearly a horrible twat. Why would you even want to go sit in a room with a seriously ill person you don't know? That's just weird as well as selfish.

Castlepeak · 27/05/2021 16:56

They can all socialize at the hotel.

A second room could even be booked just for that purpose of it’s really a problem.

iolaus · 27/05/2021 17:26

Another potential option could be for you and your sister to go to hers

DH can look after the kids with his family - and you don't have to see them (and your sister may feel more comfortable at her house rather than on your sofa

honeygirlz · 27/05/2021 17:39

I hope he sees sense but if not, don't lift a finger when they come over OP. Sit next to yoir sister and fuss over her. Let DH host them and make tea etc.

billy1966 · 27/05/2021 17:51

Your poor sister.

Is your husband a twat?
He sounds like one.
Just tell him.
End of.

Original poster
Hannahgirl · 27/05/2021 20:01

@Sceptre86

I think you are both being unreasonable. It is short notice if they are coming up this weekend and they probably will be annoyed. Your sister could move to another room whilst they are visiting. She might feel like an inconvenience, she might not but if she doesn't live with you normally surely she would still be greatful for the help and support.

Your partner is being unreasonable too as whilst his mum, sister and her boyfriend should be able to come and spend time with you it is not unreasonable to ask them to stay elsewhere so your sister can recuperate in peace. As a one off he could book a hotel for them or ask them if they would be willing to. It should have been discussed as soon as your sister came to stay with you.

Moving to another room isnt an option
OP posts:
Original poster
Hannahgirl · 27/05/2021 20:02

@iolaus

Another potential option could be for you and your sister to go to hers

DH can look after the kids with his family - and you don't have to see them (and your sister may feel more comfortable at her house rather than on your sofa

Yes that is a good idea but she would have to go up stairs which isnt possible just now
OP posts:
Original poster
Hannahgirl · 27/05/2021 20:02

@billy1966

Your poor sister.

Is your husband a twat?
He sounds like one.
Just tell him.
End of.

Not normally just when mil is involved
OP posts:
museumsandgalleries666 · 27/05/2021 20:05

Book an Airbnb or hotel room for you and your sister until husbands family leave

Notaroadrunner · 27/05/2021 20:06

Your Dh can meet them out - be that in the hotel or for coffee etc. He can bring the kids to see them at a park, weather permitting. They don't need to come to yours. Tell your dh meeting them out will save him the trouble of cleaning and cooking for them!

2old4thissite · 27/05/2021 20:10

God no, of course yanbu.
All the things others have said.
But also, would it be a good idea to have more people in the house from several different households and various generations while someone who has a) had sepsis and b) has been in a hospital (well known as sources of contagious illnesses unfortunately) is also there in the middle of a pandemic??

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