To feel used?

[Munanot]

I became close to a friend during lockdown - we went for walks, chatted a lot, went for drinks and dinner when things reopened and she would call me a lot for advice. This was driven by her (for about 3/4 months) but I enjoyed her company and felt like we were becoming close

Ofc now things have opened again, we are meeting other people and friends. We did have plans to do things but nothing really booked in - she has gone off the radar a bit and when I made plans she agreed initially and then said she would get back to me as she had other things on

I’m not really sure what to do. I did enjoy her company but equally feel quite used and like it was all on her terms? Not sure whether to say something like ask if I’ve upset her (90% sure I haven’t) or just to ignore the situation and wait for her to pick things back up or not.

I have lots of other (closer) friends but do feel hurt. She does have form for dipping in and out of friendship but this was the closest we have ever been and I really thought that we were friendly. I’m not saying check in every day friendly (which is what she did and I was there for her to accommodate that) but at least now and then.

Neither of us have family commitments btw and I felt like that was partly why we were getting on so well because in similar life stages etc

This was driven by her

This makes it sound like you made no effort to initiate things.

I made effort but she is a planner so I’d say the effort was on both sides but she would instigate the planning. Now I am doing it she has just dropped off

It's really hard now trying to juggle all your friends, your family, your partner's side of the family, his friends, your kids friends etc now that places have opened.
It'll die down once people get used to seeing each other again

My advice is give what you can afford to give. What i mean by that is you can't reply everyday etc and then be annoyed that you were so accommodating. If you wanred to reply less, you could.have. Shes probably busy with everyone else who hasnt had that no1 slot in her life for months

I'd just ignore her. Let her initiate the next meet-up, and you initiate the next one after that.

It sounds like you served a purpose unfortunately. I'm sorry but having been in your shoes a few times it sounds familiar. You sound like a good friend who's willing to listen and be there for other people. I wonder is she the same when push comes to shove? It sounds like you may want more out of the friendship than her or are placing more importance on your recent closeness than she is. It sounds like she is a dominant personality and maybe a bit of a social butterfly. I would put it behind me and move on with better friends.