My son is 11,severely autistic, non verbal, learning disabled,barely sleeps(three hours a night at a stretch since birth),still in nappies,unable to do anything for himself,needs around clock supervision and support, hes on the go all day long,wont sit for a minute.i have barely left home for the past decade,going out with him is impossible, so hard he runs off or screams incessantly and is hard to catch and restrain.im 43 years old and feel i have no life at all,i feel imprisoned by his disabilities.we have minimum support from SS ,thrèe hours a week respite, a throw in the ocean.hes at sn school when hes able to attend and we are able to get him on the bus.no family support,no one wants to watch him.ive given up everything for him,i no longer buy new clothes for myself,cant stand looking back at my sad drawn tired face,friends have given up asking me out or how i am as its too uncomfortable. Everyone around me is living,im just existing in a sleep deprived,depressed,no end in sight bubble of misery.whats the point of it i wonder??how can i change it or do i accept this is it till hes 20 and i give in and have him put in residential care,hereafter id worry the rest of my life that hes not being hurt or looked after properly?
For some people life really is hell on earth.