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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Which school would you pick?

93 replies

redbluechristmas · 25/05/2021 22:07

I'm driving myself slightly mad with this decision.

We are moving to a new area and need to decide on a primary school for DS, who is in year 2. Our options are:

School A - local village school. 10 minute walk. Fairly good reputation, has been a bit mixed in the past but still a relatively popular school. Results very slightly better than average.

School B - school on edge of nearest town. 12 minute journey by car (I have timed it at school run peak!) Excellent reputation. Very good results, well above average.

Both schools feed into the same secondary and are a similar size. I WFH so although it's not ideal logistically to drive to school, I could do it and still be home in time to start work just after 9am.

DS does well at school, quite enthusiastic about learning. Above average but not top of the class. He is fairly resilient but I don't want to get this wrong and have to move him again!

What would you do?

School A - YABU
School B - YANBU

OP posts:

howtocomplain · 26/05/2021 17:31

A 12 minute drive is nothing! And you've said there are DC from the school in your village. Joining clubs in the village is a great idea.

People here are acting as if you're sending him an hour away!

Hankunamatata · 26/05/2021 18:06

It depends what you want in a school. Our local is smaller one class. Suits my DC as they know all teachers with amazing pastoral care but there isnt a huge range of afterschool activities or sports club. Bigger school has 3 class intake and has loads more activities afterschool, trips etc. Its also about choosing the right school for your child.

HercwasanEnemyofEducation · 26/05/2021 19:28

It's not just the drive though. It's the drive, the parking, the walking to the actual school, the arriving early to get a space. The 12 minutes home again. Its at least half an hour every morning, and an hour a day. Whereas the walk time sounds much shorter.

I hate not being able to walk to places though. Driving is effort to get kids in and out of car seats!

howtocomplain · 26/05/2021 20:58

Half an hour, twice a day is nothing!

And, time-wise it's really not much different to a 10 minute walk.

My DD's school is a 10 minute walk away. That takes me the best part of 50 minutes a day - 10 minutes there, 10 minutes back, then in the afternoon, the same journey but getting in and out of the playground always seems to take 10 minutes!

AFS1 · 27/05/2021 08:15

I replied thinking you were basing your decision just on results, which seemed to me to be the wrong way to choose at primary level. Having read your updates, I would be more tempted by B. If you’re right that there’s a greater range of extra-curricular activities there, including Forest school, that would be a more decisive factor for me than how academic they are.

UserAtRandom · 27/05/2021 08:28

@howtocomplain

Half an hour, twice a day is nothing!

And, time-wise it's really not much different to a 10 minute walk.

If the OP drives, it will not be half an hour from the time she walks out of her door to the time she walks back in again. If she's there and back in much under an hour, I will be surprised. I'm dubious that her 12 minutes is really indicative of peak school run time anyway - there is far less traffic than normal on the roads now as we still have a "work at home if you can" directive, plus most schools are running staggered starts so won't have everyone arriving at once.

That's the big difference with walking. If it's a 10 minute walk to school, you can walk out your front door 12 minutes before school starts and genuinely be home 22 minutes later. If you're running late, you can walk quickly and get there in 8.

If it takes 10 minutes to get in and out of the playground (really? is this because you stop and talk to people?) , then that's the same regardless of your transport mode to get there.

It sounds like OP has made up her mind though, and she is fortunate to have the choice of 2 schools that sound great, so I'm sure her DC will do well whatever he goes.

Madwomanuptheroad29 · 27/05/2021 08:49

As your child gets older local friendships get far more important - in school A he can walk with his friends and learn to become more confident and independent.
The focus changes from heavily supervised "playdates" to informal and spontaneous meetings organised by the kids.
If you go for school B he will always be on the periphery.
I have had that situation with having kids in different schools and the difference is huge.
No matter how hard you try to organise the playdates, sleepovers etc. It will never be the same as school mates down the road/ round the corner and as the children reach an age where they venture outside if becomes much more difficult.
I would always go for the school in walking distance as long as it is "good enough".

sunshin3lov3 · 27/02/2022 22:12

Hi, is anyone here. Because i have a similar question☺️

CarbonelCat · 27/02/2022 22:19

Never add a drive in if you can walk to an ok school.

It is honestly one of my happiest things about my dc childhoods - that they can walk with friends and neighbours, gain independence in a safe way before secondary, take part in village activities close to home (the choir sings at the care home for eg) and I can hear them playing from our garden. It's so easy to attend events, drop in forgotten slips and money and instruments, and I have no stress about car seats and space to have friends back, and don't have to involve myself in the ruthless sport of parking near a school.

sunshin3lov3 · 28/02/2022 09:05

@CarbonelCat my daughter is state school at the moment (1 min walk away) she is in year 2. We tried 7+ Assessments she passed all of them. My older daughter will start to independent secondary. She did ok with 11+ assesments but it was so stressful because we do not like state secondary schools in local. I will drive for my older daugther about 10-15 mins and thinking to put younger one to same independent school. But primary and secondary school are in different building 5 mins drive between them. My younger daugther is so academic she is top of her class and even sometimes she says “i didnt learn anything today because i already know the topics” currently in year 2 state prinary teach then 2,5,10 time table and she already know all times except 8 & 9, 12 time tables. I want to put her to independent school so maybe they can challenge her more but i am really unsure. Meanwhile she passed one the best independent schools assesment as well (in top 3 in london) but we didnt think to put her there because of long distance so when she achieve i want to give her the best we can but really not sure if we are doing to right thing because she is actually happy in her state school right now.

honeylulu · 28/02/2022 09:57

Probably A is the best choice from what you've said about your son. The most important thing is a good fit between the type of child and the type of school. You mentioned that your son does fairly well but not "top of the class". It is often the case that a high rated school will be intensely academic and whilst that pressure is positive for naturally academic children, for less a academic but bright kids it can squash the joy of learning out of them and they end up with a negative experience of school.

I desperately wanted my son to go to an ofsted rated outstanding local primary. He got in but it really wasn't a good fit particularly once he got beyond the infant school. He is very bright and loves learning but had undiagnosed adhd so he wasn't great at concentrating on the reading/writing/point scoring. Rather than supporting him they tried to manage him out. He was seen as a problem kid with an evil working mother who couldn't be bothered to read with him and supervise his homework (I did) and who was messing up the ethos of their outstanding sats scores and 11+ passes. I raised adhd several times and they couldn't have been more dismissive. He was eventually diagnosed with asd and adhd during secondary school. He now at college doing A levels and absolutely flying, having rediscovered the joy of learning! He thought that he "hated" education and was shocked to discover he actually doesn't. Now planning to go to uni.

Having said all that I have now sent my (10 years younger) daughter to that same primary. She's naturally academic and loves it, is in the top 3 of the class in all subjects. I've heard other parents whose children are struggling get the same dismissive response as I did all those years ago though.

TLDR: The "best" school isn't necessarily the "best" for your individual child. Consider carefully.

honeylulu · 28/02/2022 09:59

Oh no realised I replied to original post but this is an old one updated by a new poster with a slightly different dilemma!

ConsuelaHammock · 28/02/2022 10:16

School A

sunshin3lov3 · 28/02/2022 10:23

@honeylulu yes different person similar dillema☺️

MarineBlue33 · 28/02/2022 10:23

OLD THREAD ALERT

@sunshin3lov3 you really need to start your own thread

sunshin3lov3 · 28/02/2022 21:59

@MarineBlue33 sorry I am new here, couldn’t creat new thread so thati responded here

Hesma · 01/03/2022 06:23

School A, so important to have friends in village. I had a similar situation between village school and faith school. I chose village and haven’t regretted it one bit.

Darbs76 · 01/03/2022 06:41

At primary level, local school, as long as it’s not terrible. It will be far easier than navigating school run traffic, parking problems daily. You’ll regret it if you go with B

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