AIBU to be upset about not being invited to the wedding?

[Cbuss1982]

So my mum is married to my stepdad- has been married for 35 years so been in my life since I was 3/4. His son is getting married. Small wedding at a very expensive place- not really relevant apart from the size. My mum and stepdad have obvs been invited, me and my biological sister haven’t? What’s even more strange is my brother- son of my mum and stepdad and half brother to groom hasn’t either? No family feud, no explanation nothing? So basically AIBU to be upset that I haven’t been invited and even more so our brother hasn’t?

Do you get on ok with him? Are you in regular contact? How small is small? Will there be covid restrictions?

YABU. Their wedding, their choice. I wasn't invited to any of my step-siblings weddings and none of them were invited to mine. DH's stepsister wasn't invited to our wedding and we weren't invited to hers. No feud, no bad feelings, no ill will from anyone. Just simply not invited to the wedding. Perhaps your brother may question it but perhaps they just aren't close? Did they grow up together? Did they live together?

YANBU to feel however you feel about it! There will always be people who reiterate their wedding, their choice (obviously!) but it doesn’t mean it’s not upsetting to be excluded if you expected to be invited.

It's their right to set a budget and want their friends there. Personally, I don't think it's right, but it seems to be getting popular to go with friends rather than family.

Not particularly close, brother lived with us not them growing up. We all talk but no not close at all. Maybe I’m making too big a deal of it then? I’ll get over it!! Thanks! Not sure of size tbh. I’ll see the pictures on Facebook lol

Depends how small is small really? It may be that he has friends he has a more meaningful relationship with who he wants to prioritise. If your amicable but not particularly close then it’s harsh but I can see why he might have other people he’d choose to invite to a small wedding.

Yeah, I think that's a bit weird. How many people are invited tk the wedding.

There's always so many posts on these threads that say "yabu, their wedding their choice", which is true, but it doesn't make it any less strange.

I assume you didn’t grow up in the same home and neither did your (and your step siblings) mutual half brother? If so, it sounds like it comes down to it being a small wedding and limited numbers. If it were a big wedding, then it might be less understandable.

I suspect this is about numbers op. Small event, inviting those he is closest to.

We are seeing more a d more of this..people having small weddings due to Covid, and people getting upset they didn’t score an invite.

Maybe it's so small they are only inviting parents, not siblings?

If it's a small wedding at an expensive place and you're not close/don't have a relationship then I think it's understandable that you haven't been invited.

Do you keep in touch with him personally or initiate a lot of contact?

If small then it's a numbers thing I expect. People are having to really cut down on who to invite.

Thanks everyone- I’ll grow a pair and get over it!!! 🤪

If it's a small wedding they were probably pushed for numbers. If none of you were invited then I wouldn't worry.

Maybe they are keeping it small so they can fall in line with Covid restrictions if needs be.

There's always so many posts on these threads that say "yabu, their wedding their choice", which is true, but it doesn't make it any less strange.

It's a moronic phrase and I'm sick of it. We know it's their choice, it's that choice that is being questioned.
Ditto "well that's just my opinion"

I would be upset. Of course, its their choice, but that doesn't mean you aren't allowed to feel how you feel. It seems weird to me if there is no bad blood.

You've said it yourself- you're not close. It's a small wedding and they are inviting the people they care about most.

I think it’s a bit weird.

I don't really think you should be upset that someone you aren't close to hasn't invited you to their small wedding.

It gets awkward when you start feeling obliged to invite people and then it's the whole "if I invite her, I'll have to invite him" which bumps the numbers, and expense, up massively.

Some people just prefer to keep it small and simple in order to avoid complications.

I had a close friend who went out in her lunchtime and got married at the registry office with only two witnesses. Then she went quietly back to work. It was only next day someone noticed she was wearing a wedding ring. No friends or family were invited and no reception of any kind. Her friends were a bit surprised when she announced it but I dont think anyone felt upset at not being invited to such a small brief ceremony. If you invite one then you might offend others.

My brother and SIL got married with just both sets of parents there. I still love him and she's a sweetheart!

Oh yes that's weird. I guess it depends on how small is small. If its only parents and a couple of best friends each then ok I suppose. If you see a big gang of mates, aunties and uncles, some cousins then I would be very hurt.

Well I’m waiting for the pictures tbh