12 year old gel nails...

punkylaroux · 2021-05-25T15:07:22+00:00

In need of advice! DD (12) has come home from school and asked if she can get "gel nails" with her friend at a sleepover this Friday, when I asked what she meant she said her friend knows someone who will do "acrylics" and her friend gets them during school holidays. Now, a few questions, AIBU to say no to hard gel/acrylic nails?! I have said no, as I'm worried about them damaging her nails, that it's minimum 16 years at any reputable salon and she would have to remove them in less than a week as she'll be back to school. I had compromised by saying if they offer soak off shellac (wrap in tin foil to remove) she could possibly have this, but I've been told I "treat her like a 5 year old" and "what's the point and her friend gets to do what she wants"! Help!

Pinkylemons · 25/05/2021 16:11

I definitely wouldn’t let her get acrylics. Kids that age are very heavy handed and she could damage her actual nails if she rips one off. I let my 13 year old and that’s exactly what happened. My dd’s nail beds are tiny so I knew they wouldn’t last long. I gave in after lots of begging and pleading. I’d let her have gel polish as a one off and you could get some acetone and soak them off for her.

ThatChristinaAguileraSong · 25/05/2021 16:12

Salons usually allow acrylics for anyone 14+ and it's that age purely because of insurance reasons (14 being the age that they're deemed to be able to take reasonable care). The risk of damaging her nails from acrylics is only if she catches them on something - like in a door or whilst playing. Is she very active? Does she play a sport?
If she's not particularly active, they're being done by someone who knows what they're doing and it's during the school holidays then I'd almost undoubtedly allow this.

Duvetdweller · 25/05/2021 16:13

My now 13 year old has had them a few times for holidays and stuff (since she was about 11). I can’t get too excited about non permanent stuff. They’ll come off and if you say no it becomes forbidden fruit. Mine asked if she could have her navel pierced and I said yes. She changed her mind then because I think she actually wanted me to say no so she could tell me how awful I was 😊

GreenTeaBlackCoffeeAndRedWine · 25/05/2021 16:17

None of the salons near me restrict them to 16+. Absolutely none I can think of, and they're all reputable places.

I had them at 12, it hasn't done me any harm having them as a one off. While I wouldn't want a child to have them regularly, I don't see the issue with a one off tbh. Especially if she only gets gel and not acrylic.

LittleGwyneth · 25/05/2021 16:19

I wouldn't be desperately worried about her damaging her nails - they grow back and they're not going to be horribly damaged by doing that once. If it's going to make her happy and it's not a lot of money, why not let her have this one? Might be better to save the fights for the bigger stuff down the line.

GreenTeaBlackCoffeeAndRedWine · 25/05/2021 16:21

Just to add - once I'd had them once, the novelty wore off and as an adult I don't even paint my nails very often. Her nails will survive, as mine did.

Aprilwasverywet · 25/05/2021 16:21

My dd's have had them done in the holidays since about 12 /13. What about sending her with cheap false nails and a gel polish? My dd's get Primark sets for a pound!!

Original poster

punkylaroux · 25/05/2021 16:21

@ThatChristinaAguileraSong

Salons usually allow acrylics for anyone 14+ and it's that age purely because of insurance reasons (14 being the age that they're deemed to be able to take reasonable care). The risk of damaging her nails from acrylics is only if she catches them on something - like in a door or whilst playing. Is she very active? Does she play a sport? If she's not particularly active, they're being done by someone who knows what they're doing and it's during the school holidays then I'd almost undoubtedly allow this.

She's very into golf and swimming so will be doing a fair bit of activity, she's also almost always picked off manicures/pinged off glue on nails in the past! I don't want to be a fun spoiler but don't feel like my compromise of just gel polish rather than acrylic extensions on her is a bad one

OP posts:

Beamur · 25/05/2021 16:22

Gel would be ok as long as she has them properly removed afterwards. If she picks it off it will damage the nail.
I'd say no to acrylics.

TotorosCatBus · 25/05/2021 16:24

Is she paying ? That might put her off.

If she pays to put them on, I'd consider paying to have them removed because I wouldn't want her to skimp on that step. However you're going to have to talk to her about her possible expectation that she can have them done every school holiday.

Original poster

punkylaroux · 25/05/2021 16:25

@Aprilwasverywet

My dd's have had them done in the holidays since about 12 /13. What about sending her with cheap false nails and a gel polish? My dd's get Primark sets for a pound!!

I've always let her play with false nails/polish and we even bought a gel polish kit with the led lamp in lockdown to do our nails too. I have taken her to the salon I go to in the past for standard polish but I understand she wants to fit in with her friends, it's so difficult!

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JesusIsAnyNameFree · 25/05/2021 16:27

Hard gel is fine but acrylics are meant to be really damaging to your nails.

She will need to either go somewhere to get the nails removed though, or spend a couple of hours filing her own nails off. It's not an easy thing to do and you'll need to buy the appropriate nail files to so this. I think it's 100/180 grit and a higher grit for when you're just left with a very thin layer of it.
Not knowing how to do this will likely make her end up with bleeding cuticles though. It's really not that easy to get all the way to the sides without nipping yourself.

Does she realise she will either need to spend 10-15 pounds to have them removed or spend all that time doing it herself?

It's just not worth it for a week.

Original poster

punkylaroux · 25/05/2021 16:29

@Beamur

Gel would be ok as long as she has them properly removed afterwards. If she picks it off it will damage the nail. I'd say no to acrylics.

Yes this is what I'd said to her, that I'd be ok with gel if we can remove it properly but no to acrylic, I'll let her have a think and see what she says when she stopped thinking I'm awful

OP posts:

Original poster

punkylaroux · 25/05/2021 16:31

@JesusIsAnyNameFree

Hard gel is fine but acrylics are meant to be really damaging to your nails.

She will need to either go somewhere to get the nails removed though, or spend a couple of hours filing her own nails off. It's not an easy thing to do and you'll need to buy the appropriate nail files to so this. I think it's 100/180 grit and a higher grit for when you're just left with a very thin layer of it.
Not knowing how to do this will likely make her end up with bleeding cuticles though. It's really not that easy to get all the way to the sides without nipping yourself.

Does she realise she will either need to spend 10-15 pounds to have them removed or spend all that time doing it herself?

It's just not worth it for a week.

Thank you for this, I had told her this was one of my main concerns, it's only a week and it's horrendous to get off if you don't know what you're doing (from personal experience during lockdown trying to remove hard gel!) I had all the kit and still found it challenging.

OP posts:

Waxonwaxoff0 · 25/05/2021 16:35

Acrylics are not damaging to the nails if you get them removed properly and don't rip them off yourself. I have had acrylics on constantly for 8+ years. Except in lockdown!

I would not allow a 12 year old to have acrylics though. Gel polish, yes but not acrylics.

lastqueenofscotland · 25/05/2021 16:38

I wouldn’t let a 12 year old get acrylics no.

Beamur · 25/05/2021 16:42

Tell her that the collective wisdom of MN agree with you that will definitely win her round

Method · 25/05/2021 16:44

I've asked my salon this question today as my 2 girls were asking to have shellac in the holidays. Even Shellac there is 16+. I would have said no too, school isn't over yet and it would be against uniform policy at our school.

Original poster

punkylaroux · 25/05/2021 16:45

@Beamur

Tell her that the collective wisdom of MN agree with you

that will definitely win her round

always good to know I'm not actually being a sad old witch her wants to ruin her life

OP posts:

JesusIsAnyNameFree · 25/05/2021 16:48

it's horrendous to get off if you don't know what you're doing (from personal experience during lockdown trying to remove hard gel!) I had all the kit and still found it challenging

I had to do the same. Never again 😂

ShopTattsyrup · 25/05/2021 16:49

Just a thought - does she know what it is that she's asking for? I only ask because in your OP she says gel and acrylic and clearly they aren't the same thing - could she be talking about a gel manicure when she's saying acrylic?

For what it's worth I wouldn't allow acrylic nails, but would be happy with any gel manicure or even at a push using builder gel to give a tiny bit of length without it being a tip or an acrylic extension.

Waitwhat23 · 25/05/2021 16:53

I get shellac nails done once a month but there's no way I'd get acrylics done - unless a skilled beautician does them, there's too much scope for damaging the nails badly. Someone I used to work with used to get acrylics done at a salon where they really ground down the nail and she said when she stopped doing them after a while, her nails hurt when she was doing the washing up because they were so damaged.

Original poster

punkylaroux · 25/05/2021 16:53

@ShopTattsyrup

Just a thought - does she know what it is that she's asking for? I only ask because in your OP she says gel and acrylic and clearly they aren't the same thing - could she be talking about a gel manicure when she's saying acrylic?

For what it's worth I wouldn't allow acrylic nails, but would be happy with any gel manicure or even at a push using builder gel to give a tiny bit of length without it being a tip or an acrylic extension.

Yes I have asked her to double check this because by her own admission she doesn't know the difference, I'm not against her having her nails done full stop, it's specifically the acrylic aspect I've said no to. I asked her to check with her friend tomorrow. She's thought in the past she'd had a gel manicure when I've taken her along to the salon I go to and that was just normal polish with a bit of glitter!

OP posts:

Waxonwaxoff0 · 25/05/2021 16:56

@Waitwhat23

I get shellac nails done once a month but there's no way I'd get acrylics done - unless a skilled beautician does them, there's too much scope for damaging the nails badly. Someone I used to work with used to get acrylics done at a salon where they really ground down the nail and she said when she stopped doing them after a while, her nails hurt when she was doing the washing up because they were so damaged.

That must be a bad salon. I've had acrylics on non stop for 8 years at various salons, never had any issues.

Waitwhat23 · 25/05/2021 17:02

That's what I mean though - if a skilled beautician does them then it's fine but there's too many salons that allow poorly done procedures and in the OP, it says her daughters friend 'knows someone' who does acrylics - they might be great, they might be terrible and at 12, I'd hesitate to take that chance.

And yes, it was a bad salon - they were known for it - I have no idea why she continued to go there!