Cleaner for OCD sufferer. AIBU?

[niknakpatty]

Inspired by a recent cleaning thread on MN.

I have severe OCD (clinically diagnosed) and clean a lot. I have issues with touching dirty things but also the need to clean dirty things. It really is as insane as it sounds.

I would love to have a cleaner but my OCD has always prevented me from hiring this help. I have OCD related trust issues in that the person will not do the job to my standard. I also assume that the cleaner would bring with them “germs” from outside/previous jobs. The main worry is that the cleaner will do the job “sloppily” as I have strict OCD rituals and then I will just have to clean after they leave anyway.

I would like to know whether I’m being unreasonable in wanting to find someone who could work around my OCD related reservations or if it’s asking for too much from a person.

I am happy to pay extra if it means that the cleaning is done in a way that satisfies my OCD. Eliminating the mental and physical stress of OCD cleaning would be such a life changer for me. It would allow me to do things I haven’t in years as a result of my OCD such as hosting gatherings, having friends and family over and lots of other things.

I was hoping that I'd come across some cleaner related success stories here from other OCD sufferers but it's not looking good. I feel so disheartened

Agree OCD can be beaten. My autistic son has diagnosed OCD. Not around cleaning but rituals with going up and down stairs, windows need to be either open or shut not some open or some shut. No one can have their sleeves pushed up etc etc, the lust is endless. He is non verbal so can’t tell us why or how to help. He’s had various therapies for almost 2 years and just the other day I realised a lot of the behaviours have gone. Its been such a gradual process I honestly didn’t notice or remember some of the stuff he used to do.

Not an answer to your original post but definitely seek some help. Proper OCD is so minimised by the flippant way people say they have it when really they don’t!

I would like to know whether I’m being unreasonable in wanting to find someone who could work around my OCD related reservations or if it’s asking for too much from a person.

Let's remove the value judgement on you OP, you have a clinically diagnosed condition that is dominating your life. It isn't about you being unreasonable. It's that it wouldn't be viable for a third party who is used to coming into someone's house on a routine basis to do the cleaning, having to clean for someone who has specialist needs.

Remember your OCD is the manifestation of an underlying trauma in your life, it isn't just about cleaning your hands a few dozen times etc. You need to unlock what the trauma is, so you can resolve it in your own life, and then you'll be in a better position to get some help with your cleaning tasks.

I hope the therapy helps. I would suggest for now that you don't involve anyone until you've completed your therapy sessions.

@niknakpatty

I was hoping that I'd come across some cleaner related success stories here from other OCD sufferers but it's not looking good. I feel so disheartened

OP, if you can focus all your energy on the therapy, you may find that things become clearer. At the moment you're trying to do too many things at the same time.

I was a cleaner who never had a complaint made about my work, and always cleaned to the best of my ability. I didn't skimp or take shortcuts but there is absolutely no way I would have taken you on as a client. A cleaner will add more stress to your life, not less, as even if something looks perfect you will be suspicious that they haven't really cleaned it properly, have missed out something you asked, or have been unhygienic in some way. I understand this, though I'm not OCD. In holiday cottages I always put all dishes cutlery etc., through the dishwasher as soon as I arrive, as I don't know what other people have done. Also ant-bac worktops sinks taps etc..
Your only real help will come from getting treatment for your OCD.

Oh op as you well know this will not make your ocd go away however if it helps in any way it may be worth a go (even if its a temporary respite from the physical cleaning.)
I am currently going through emdr therapy.
I have in the past had 3 lots of cbt.
I am hopeful that I will get to the root cause of the problem and be free of this ocd hell.
Be kind to yourself.

If I were a cleaner in the nicest possible way i wouldn’t work for you. My sister has severe ocd and you have my sympathies, however whoever you bring in to clean for you will never do it to your standards because your brain simply won’t allow it.

I’ve watched my sister do something similar and it didn’t work - she would have been far better using that money for therapy.

I think you’ll struggle to find a cleaner that does the job to your standard.