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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be so bored with weekends and how much my family’s hobbies take up

39 replies

CroneAVirus · 23/05/2021 19:59

Saturday all the kids are in various clubs until lunch time. They all love doing their sports so no chance of getting them to give it up. DH drops them off and then goes for a long run so I have to be around to pick them up (staggered finish times). Then on Sunday DH always goes for an absolutely piss-taking amount of time on a bike ride. Usually doesn’t get back until after lunch. Basically the weekends are pretty much a right off. It’s so boring and monotonous for me. I can’t even just go out on my own because of all the timings of the clubs pick ups.

Not even sure there’s an answer except wait for the DCs to get old enough to get to clubs on their own steam. What I really want is for DH to stop buggering off for four hours every Sunday but it’s the only chance he has to exercise all week. From Mon-Fri he’s out of the house from 7am-8pm and during that time he’s either sitting at a desk or sitting in his car, so it would be unfair of me to ask him to stop.

I just find I dread weekends. They’re so dull. Everyone’s posting pictures of lovely lunches in pubs, etc and I’m elbow deep in sandwiches, waiting for DH to get back so I can go to Aldi without having to take all 3 DCs with me.

I just feel weekends shouldn’t be this...shit?

OP posts:

UhtredRagnarson · 23/05/2021 20:53

DH drops them off and then goes for a long run so I have to be around to pick them up (staggered finish times).

Switch this around- Dh can go for a run earlier, you do the drop off and then go off and do your own thing all day and he can do the staggered pick ups.

whensmynexthol1day · 23/05/2021 20:53

If your kids are old enough to go to clubs aren't they old enough to occupy themselves whilst he has a shower and changes? As soon as he gets back from picking them up I'd scarper!

BillMasheen · 23/05/2021 21:16

I am just having a moan aren’t I? I think I just need the kids to get older and to make more fun plans

Nope

It sounds like he’s taking the effing piss.

You need to alternate Sunday leisure time.. he cycles one week, and has the kids all day the next.

Changemusthappen · 23/05/2021 21:28

I must admit I'm trying to put my finger on what the real issue is. Is it that you want decent time together as a family or time for yourself. I get the feeling it's family time?

Firstly don't go to Aldi on the weekend, either go in the week or get a delivery from another supermarket, might cost a bit more but will be worth it.

Speak to DH, tell him that you want to have some Sundays out having lunch etc. Get him to do his cycling on Saturday morning, you do the drop offs and pickups for sport.

This way you'll have Saturday afternoon and all day Sunday together.

Original poster

CroneAVirus · 23/05/2021 21:35

I must admit I'm trying to put my finger on what the real issue is. Is it that you want decent time together as a family or time for yourself. I get the feeling it's family time?

I think it’s just that the windows for spontaneity are so small. Each weekend feels the same. Coming out of lockdown is definitely part of it. I want to book pub lunches and days out but I can’t because of frigging karate and DH ‘needing’ to get his cycle done.

OP posts:

cupsofcoffee · 23/05/2021 21:38

@AppleSouffle

How long is his run on a Saturday that means that he’s not showered and dressed until 2pm? Even if your DCs start their activities at 10am that is FOUR hours. Nobody runs for four (or even three) hours! He needs to get going as soon as he’s dropped them off so that he’s back in time for lunch so you can all go out together in the afternoon.

Lots of people will do long runs like that at the weekend, especially if they're training for marathons or something.

My dad (now retired) runs for 2-3 hours every single day. And I'm not talking flat runs - he'll disappear off up Fairfield or other fells and be gone for hours

He is slightly mad I grant you but even when I was growing up he'd run to/from work everyday and do long runs each weekend.

Notnownotneverever · 23/05/2021 21:42

I get what you are saying but you need to make work for you. And your DH is exercising twice so you could ask him to not go for the run on the Saturday if you wanted to go out for the whole day.
However aside from that you could make plans for Saturday afternoon, cinema, shopping, swimming, whatever. Or make plans to get up and do something on Saturday morning like meet a friend for coffee or breakfast.
I know it seems like even one is out having pub lunches, etc all the time but they really aren’t. Not the ones with kids anyway.

bigfloweryblouse · 23/05/2021 21:43

Just book some time out for yourself, tell your DH and go. Girls lunch, a yoga class, afternoon shopping etc. Tell your DH that is what is happening

Hopeful201 · 23/05/2021 21:45

It sounds like your DH needs his exercise to de stress, I am the same and do lots of me time exercise-but I do it very early so no-one is even awake by the time I get back. I would tell him you wan to plan some meals out etc, he can fit his exercise in around your plans.

LockdownCheeseToastie · 23/05/2021 21:45

It’s crap but now mine are teens and able to transport themselves it has passed. We actively aimed for half a day of family time over the weekend but the rest was taken up with various activities. Bloody marvellous once they’re old enough that you can both lie in on a Sunday if you want.

ElspethFlashman · 23/05/2021 21:46

I don't understand why you need to be there whilst he showers and changes?

As long as he's just upstairs why can't you just bugger off? The kids clearly aren't babies.

Just book a Sunday lunch in a pub but do it with a friend. Sort of as a trial run. And as soon as he arrives home, off you pop.

Shesaysso · 23/05/2021 21:49

He surely can’t be running for more than a couple of hours. Get him to get up early and he’ll be back for 9am likewise with bike ride - go at 7 be back for 11am, or do what a number of people I know do - set off early for work so avoid traffic, the commute is quicker and then run or go to a gym in the morning near work a couple of times a week.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 23/05/2021 21:50

I think the issue is your husband. He does activities that he can do any time (he doesnt need a club at a set time to cycle or run). Your Saturday is harder than it needs to be because of him wanting to exercise by himself and your subday is harder than it needs to be because of him wanting to exercise by himself. Surely he can go a run in the week and a cycle one day in the weekend? Or alternate weekends etc. I wouldnt begrudge kids classes, but I would begrudge never having a family lunch because my husbands need for set amounts of exercise at set times is seen as greater than my need to chill out, or have a weekend different to all the other weekends, or do something fun once in a while

MiddlesexGirl · 23/05/2021 21:58

If he could go for his Sunday ride earlier then be could be back in time for lunch.
The Saturday run seems fair to me if he's doing the drop off and therefore getting up early. You could organise to have your own time on Saturday afternoon or evening.
With Sunday lunch/afternoon/evening as family time.

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