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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would you tell someone to move on a train

59 replies

MinnieMountain · 23/05/2021 15:15

I’m prepared to be corrected, this is more of a how much of a dickhead is this man being post.

DH and I are on the train. Our allocated seats are next to opposite windows with the aisle in between. DH sat next to me so that we were in the same airline seats.

A passenger got on and told him to move to his allocated seat as they are set up like that for social distancing for the staff, as he and his own DP are doing.

DH moved. Dickhead has had his mask off pretty much since he sat down (he is in my eyeline).

AIBU to think that if you’re that bothered about the rules, you really should obey them all yourself?

And would anyone else have actually said anything, regardless of what they thought?

OP posts:

Original poster

MinnieMountain · 23/05/2021 17:23

They have said aisle seats must be kept free for social distancing, so there we go.

I’m waiting for an answer on whether or not my 7yo can sit next to me. We have a 4 hour journey without DH in the summer.

OP posts:

bigbaggyeyes · 23/05/2021 17:24

I used to use trains and tubes all the time, I would get really annoyed if someone sat in my seat.

Tbh you don't know if the seat was cleaned and your dh sat in it and now the other person has to sit in a potential Covid seat.

As for his mask, he could have a good reason not to wear a mask. If not he's a knob as well as your dh

poppycat10 · 23/05/2021 17:27

@MinnieMountain

They have said aisle seats must be kept free for social distancing, so there we go.

I’m waiting for an answer on whether or not my 7yo can sit next to me. We have a 4 hour journey without DH in the summer.

You don't need to worry about the summer as social distancing will be over by then.

I have been on two long journeys recently and sat in the aisle seat each time. I only got told to move once by the lady pushing the buffet trolley. The guard didn't care.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 23/05/2021 17:30

I wasn't aware of this rule. I've got train tickets booked for half term. Will DS not be allowed to sit next to me then? I have an allocated seat on my ticket but he doesn't!

HugeAckmansWife · 23/05/2021 17:31

What the hell is a 'potential Covid seat'??? Are we not past this nonsense now? Ive been on LNER repeatedly throughout Covid. I've always moved one of my kids to sit with me and the other one and one of us is always in an aisle seat. These are never allocated to anyone else. You are not going to catch Covid by momentarily passing by another person in an aisle seat. I've been in a classroom throughout. Being in proximity to people is functional life and we need to get back to that.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 23/05/2021 17:31

@bigbaggyeyes

I used to use trains and tubes all the time, I would get really annoyed if someone sat in my seat.

Tbh you don't know if the seat was cleaned and your dh sat in it and now the other person has to sit in a potential Covid seat.

As for his mask, he could have a good reason not to wear a mask. If not he's a knob as well as your dh

Covid doesn't live on seats, and they weren't sitting in his seat anyway.

MIC2689 · 23/05/2021 17:32

I'm amazed at how people think DH sat in someone else's allocated seat. The aisle seat should remain free due to Covid not because it's someone else's seat (at least in this situation). YABU sorry. Also, you don't know why the man wasn't wearing a mask.

Original poster

MinnieMountain · 23/05/2021 17:33

@bigbaggyeyes nobody sat in anyone else’s seat. DH sat in the seat next to me which was being kept empty.

He wearing one when he got on and off and a bit of the time when he was sitting, so obviously wasn’t exempt from wearing a mask.

OP posts:

Sorka · 23/05/2021 17:35

I haven’t been to the office since March 2020 and this brings back all the god-awful memories of my miserable commute that I’ve paid through the nose for where I have to stand, because every bloody seat is reserved. There aren’t enough words to express how much I’m dreading 21 June ‘freedom’ day and being dragged back to the office and having to endure that misery again.

In answer to your question OP, no I wouldn’t have moved. I’d have told random man to mind his own business and put his mask back on.

Original poster

MinnieMountain · 23/05/2021 17:36

And to be clear, I accept that I was unreasonable about the seat.

OP posts:

Minstrelsgetinmybelly · 23/05/2021 17:37

Depends I get really travel sick travelling backwards so I would ask if I specified picked a seat moving forward.

His excuse was a bit rubbish to then not wear a mask but benefit if the doubt maybe he’s exempt?

Original poster

MinnieMountain · 23/05/2021 17:38

That sucks @Sorka. I’m lucky that my journey to work is a short bike ride.

OP posts:

JustLyra · 23/05/2021 17:38

We travelled on a train yesterday as a group of three and had three seats round a table allocated.

The announcements said that “where possible” the aisle seats should be kept free, but that you were allowed to travel in your household groups.

JustLyra · 23/05/2021 17:39

Plus the guy who spoke to your DH had no idea if there was a specific reason you needed to be sat together - my DS work as a carer and has sat next to people he’s been caring for on buses and trains all through the pandemic

HugeAckmansWife · 23/05/2021 17:40

minstels he wasn't in someone else's seat. And the other guy was wearing a mask, so not exempt, just not all the time.

5128gap · 23/05/2021 17:41

This last year seems to have given a lot of people the idea that despite having no authority, they can police other people. I hope it wears off when we get to the end if this.

Original poster

MinnieMountain · 23/05/2021 17:44

@Waxonwaxoff0 GWR have now told me that exceptions can be made for small children.

Funnily, LNER have allocated us both seats in an airline pair.

OP posts:

2bazookas · 23/05/2021 17:46

@TheCheeseAlarm

LNER specifically say that if you are travelling as one household you can move to sit with the people you are travelling with, otherwise stick to your allocated seat.

But that would mean that the allocated seat for a stranger beside DH, was not socially spaced from DH.

OK to not socially distance from spouse; not okay to crowd a stranger.

So I think the man had a fair point.

2bazookas · 23/05/2021 17:47

@HugeAckmansWife

minstels he wasn't in someone else's seat. And the other guy was wearing a mask, so not exempt, just not all the time.

DH was occupying a seat that was meant to be an empty social space for the sake of staff and other passengers.

SmallPrawnEnergy · 23/05/2021 17:48

@bigbaggyeyes

I used to use trains and tubes all the time, I would get really annoyed if someone sat in my seat.

Tbh you don't know if the seat was cleaned and your dh sat in it and now the other person has to sit in a potential Covid seat.

As for his mask, he could have a good reason not to wear a mask. If not he's a knob as well as your dh

No one was sat in anyone's seat.

OP also said Dickhead has had his mask off pretty much since he sat down so he had a mask on boarding the train but took it off.

Comprehension is lacking with some posters here like.

IntoAir · 23/05/2021 17:48

Our allocated seats are next to opposite windows with the aisle in between. DH sat next to me so that we were in the same airline seats.

Your post isn't entirely clear, but I'm assuming that you and your DH had booked allocated seats. But you didn't sit in them.

YABU.

The other passenger asking you to sit in your allocated seats was correct: train companies are trying to space people out.

But of course, he should have kept his mask on.

But he wasn't a dick for asking you to move. It is really annoying when people don't sit in their allocated seats. Do you travel by train a lot? It sounds as though you don't, and you're unaware of good train manners.

HugeAckmansWife · 23/05/2021 17:51

2bazookas on the many trains I have been on throughout this, noone has asked me or my kids to leave an aisle seat free and as I said above, I think we know enough now to know that a momentary passing by is not going to put anyone at risk.

IntoAir · 23/05/2021 17:51

Well you shouldn’t sit in aisle seats to allow others, including staff, to pass safely.

This. This is exactly what the railway company was doing.

Cheeseandlobster · 23/05/2021 17:54

@HopingForOurRainbowBaby

Pre Covid I went to sit in my allocated seat. The woman sat next to me told me I wasn't allowed to sit there as she wanted the empty seat next to her. I just grabbed the reserved card waved it in her face and told her tough shite cos I was sitting in that seat. She spent the entire journey huffing and puffing in disgust

Good for you. Cheeky entitled cow. Some people just astonish me

Zzelda · 23/05/2021 18:03

@Booksandwine80

Well you shouldn’t sit in aisle seats to allow others, including staff, to pass safely. I’d that’s what you did then YABU

When I've travelled by train with DH, they've allocated us seats next to each other. So how can it BU to travel that way by choice?

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