To be absolutely terrified of the dentist tomorrow?

[defnotu]

I’ve cancelled several times . I need a filling in my back molar, or possibly an extraction, and I need a scale and polish (if they’re allowed to do that yet) .

I’m absolutely terrified of dentists. I had bad experiences in hospital when younger . I can’t lie down without crying and shaking . I don’t even lie down to get my eyebrows waxed .

I quite often faint with medical things - I get low blood pressure as it is but something about the smell and facemasks and being a patient makes my legs go to jelly and I just black out . I fainted with my covid jab, after blood tests, after a smear, mid ultrasound scan once .

For important medical stuff I sometimes get eg diazepam or an extra nurse to stand by my head or in extreme an anaesthetic - but both GP and dentist have refused to prescribe diazepam for this; said I should manage fine with propranolol tablets and if I concentrate on breathing .

I’m absolutely terrified . I don’t know the dentist well, they said not to worry about it and will all be fine but it’s not as simple as that - the only good thing is they’re allowing me to take my mum in as otherwise wouldn’t go at all .

Even the local anaesthetic they give, from memory it makes you feel worse, there’s not a single part that doesn’t frighten me .

How can I make tomorrow easier - am focusing on the fact that if I go I won’t have a huge hole in my mouth anymore but I’m panicking and selfishly considering cancelling yet again .

Ah OP i have sympathy. I finally went to the dentist just before Christmas having avoided it for years until the pain became too much. I started a thread on here after I got back to encourage others to face it.

Honestly, there's nothing that will make you feel better until you're there. I cried in the waiting room and when I sat in the chair

I'd spoken to reception in advance about how I felt and they made everything as easy as possible for me. The dentist was pre warned that I was terrified and went slowly with me.
6 months later and I'm now working through a few bits of treatment I need. Do I like it now? No, not at all. But I can tolerate it as it wasn't as bad as I expected. I'd built it up in my mind to be far worse than the reality. I think its really important to get a sympathetic, patient dentist who understands your worries. Stay strong, you can do it and you'll be glad you did

I sympathise. For me it’s needles. I cried all the way through my COVID jab from arriving at the vaccine centre till it was done. And I’ll do it again come the second dose in August. Can someone go with you to offer support? The nurses were very kind and let my husband stay with me which helped.

I was offered gas and air for a filling when I mentioned being nervous. I don't think they're being very fair to you.

I feel for you, this was exactly me last week, had to have a filling out of a back molar so they could see how bad it was underneath and then decide what the next step was - either root canal, extraction or replace filling and crown it. I was petrified, but I spoke to the dentist and nurse before and they were really kind and gentle with me. I was given extra local anaesthetic and honestly it was so much better than I thought it would be. Definitely a little uncomfortable but not painful at all. Thankfully for me it was just a replacement filling and then back again next month for the crown...

In my head I had built it up to be so much worse than it actually was! Be honest with the dentist, let them know how nervous you are. I imagine they get lots of nervous people in. Good luck

Try and find a dentist that does sedation, thats the only thing that will make me go !

Thank you , will speak to dentist when I get in, my old dentist was lovely but think they have changed now as I don’t recognise the name of the person I’m seeing tomorrow . Hopefully it isn’t as bad as I’m imagining in my head . Gas and air would be amazing ... I keep trying to think of the end result and my mouth feeling a bit better, it’s had a hole there for a couple of years now sadly .

Have you tried propranolol before? I use it for the odd bit of public speaking in my job. I have to do 30 minutes presentations to 200 people three times a year in a massive auditorium which is my idea of hell. I've found it works really well. It doesn't get rid of the initial fear but it stops the physical symptoms which tends to make me relax more as time goes on.

I know exactly where you're coming from.
I had a very bad experience with a dentist over 30 years ago (I won't go into detail but he was struck off as a result), it left me absolutely terrified, even walking past a dentist building would result in a panic attack. 30 years of not visiting a dentist has taken it's toll and 2 months ago I lost a front tooth, I now only have 5 on my lower mouth. I knew I had to do something as I can now longer bear to look at myself in a mirror.
I rang numerous dentists and explained the situation but all I got was "don't worry you'll be fine" which was not helpful really. I finally got through to a practice who were absolutely on the ball. They put me through to the practice manager who listened, then said that a dentist would ring me back. He did and he had the most calming, reassuring manner. He invited me in after the last surgery so it would be quiet and he and the manger showed me around, explained all the procedures and offered me sedation if I thought it would be too much. At no time did I get told "you'll be fine", instead I was asked "how do you feel, do you want to leave?" and I felt that my fears were validated and understood. When I agreed to have treatment I was given an early appointment so that I would not be stressed all morning worrying and when I got into the treatment room he was very patient and sat me on an ordinary chair until I felt ready to sit in the "proper" one (20 minutes it took).
I have been twice now and still have a way to go. I'm still scared but I'm not the crying wobbly mass of terror I was the first time.

I'm phobic of the dentist and have recently got a new dentist in training. He is about 12 really kind and patient and uses a numbing gel on my gum like they use on kids, so I don't feel the needle and tells me to wear earphones so I don't hear anything.

Make sure they know you are really scared and there is a chance you'll faint. You'll be ok. Filling will be a lot of vibration then all done and extraction just a bit of yanking about and then you'll never feel a twinge from it again. You can do it!

Firstly you need to have a think about what is making you anxious and therefore what might help. Most dentists can be accommodating but its quite difficult if someone just says they are anxious, because everyone's different and what helps one doesn't necessarily help another. Would a podcast/music help? Would talking through the procedures help? Would you like breaks? Numbing gel? A fidget-style toy?

You aren't going to get less anxious about it until you try having a filling, its one of those things that the longer you leave it the more you build it up and the harder it will become. Remember you are in charge and can stop at any time, so why not go in a try sitting in the chair? Even if you don't make it to the filling stage its worth going and trying. Then you can try getting numbed. Then try the drill etc. Take it one stage at a time.

Remember its relatively common to have dental anxiety, and its also relatively common to faint, cry, panic whatever. Its not something the dentist won't have dealt with. It is true you will be fine in the end, I have treated many many anxious patients and they are all fine in the end. I have lots of patients who wouldn't come in the room at first and now will have extractions and root canals!

Made it as far as surgery . Absolutely terrified. Can’t stop shaking and breathing too fast and mask making it worse . Ten minutes
To wait .

I’m frightened they’ll hurt me or that I’ll collapse mid procedure .

My dentist heats ago used to push my shoulders down so I couldn’t move, that was when I was seven and they were whipping teeth out , horrible

I want to go home, I hate this

Oh OP you can do this. It must feel so traumatic, I completely understand. Think about the end result and take it one step at a time right now.

I got home a couple of hours ago from a filling. I was getting a bit panicky, they opened a window and I tried to concentrate on breathing.

It was pretty uncomfortable and I cried when they were finished and then all the way home in the car I think I'm a bit hormonal at the moment!

Wish I'd thought to listen to a podcast or something as PP suggested.

Hope all goes OK OP

Back right molar on the bottom is out . Dentist also had a good go at getting impacted wisdom tooth out . Face is three times the size it was an hour ago . Done now but spent entire appointment gripping the seat white knuckled . Wish to God GP had given me a drug of some sort . Dentist also insisting paracetomal will do the job . Thank god for the chemist downstairs who’s given me a box of cocodamol .

Being brave isn't about doing things that don't scare you, it's being that scared but doing it anyway. You have been very brave today OP.

@thetemptationofchocolate

Being brave isn't about doing things that don't scare you, it's being that scared but doing it anyway. You have been very brave today OP.

Thank you

Have just had a look at my mouth in the mirror - regretting that instantly - there’s a black hole going all the way along and extending quite deep into my gum, with my wisdom tooth half exposed at the end . So I guess I’m not going to be eating for a few days at least - goodness knows how thats going to heal up .

Wish to God GP had given me a drug of some sort . Dentist also insisting paracetomal will do the job

But they did offer you Propranolol which helps the physical symptoms of anxiety like you described and would be much better at helping you overcome your fear rather than being spaced out with Diazepam. Studies have proven paracetamol and ibuprofen just as effective, if not more so for dental pain rather than codine.

@PixieLaLa

Wish to God GP had given me a drug of some sort . Dentist also insisting paracetomal will do the job

But they did offer you Propranolol which helps the physical symptoms of anxiety like you described and would be much better at helping you overcome your fear rather than being spaced out with Diazepam. Studies have proven paracetamol and ibuprofen just as effective, if not more so for dental pain rather than codine.

Makes sense and I can hear my therapist agreeing, that being sedated isn’t the answer as it doesn’t prove that there isn’t anything to fear .

Glad I’ve got the codeine though, my mouth’s in absolute agony tonight - whole face is on fire, even my ear is sore with it . Codeine/ibuprofen together taking the edge off a bit . Have managed to eat a bit of ice cream and an ice lolly . Have got covid jab at 8.30am so not too chuffed . Not even 100% convinced that they will do it tbh .