AIBU to not mention that I think my dad has had a stroke?

[vivariumvivariumsvivaria]

Proud man, retired semi-pro footballer. Had 2 stents about 10 years ago so is on medication for that and his BP - is very fit for his age (79) and has a big case of Peter Pan Syndrome.

During lockdown he had a bad fall. Broken ribs, smashed up face, big mess - took a week to persuade him to see GP for painkillers. I'm not local so only saw him 3 times in lockdown from the garden and once since restrictions eased in the house - seemed fine.

This morning, though, we went for a walk in the forest. His left side is just slightly clumsy, his arm doesn't swing as he steps, and his balance is easily lost. He didn't fall, but he is definitely not steady and for the first time I thought he needed a stick. There is no chance he'll use a stick, he is an athlete, remember?

He is using his left arm fine, no facial weakness, speech is fine and he is as sharp mentally as ever. He doesn't limp or trip in the house, he's a bit slow and steady on the stairs, takes them one at a time, but, he is ok.

Am I right in thinking that his heart medication will reduce his stroke risk anyway? His GP is great, but I don't think there is much to be gained from a scan - he is, after all, ok if a bit clumsy, so it would be an expensive scan to find "oh look, you've had a little stroke, I wonder if that is what caused that fall?"

If I tell him he'll be upset, he doesn't see himself as old, and he would deny there is a problem because he is unaware of the loss of balance (old football injury to my knee) and he is very fit and active for his age.

WWYD? Just keep an eye on him, or ring the GP and say "I think he's had a stroke" or tell him and have the argument?

Is him being blissfully unaware better than finding out whether he's had a stroke seeing as how he's already on cardiovascular medication?

Yes, purple, the knee's another issue. He needs it replaced, saw a surgeon two years ago but decided it "wasn't that bad". To be fair, he walks well on it, doesn't seem to have that much pain, but, he does use it as a sort of badge of honour "surgeon said I need a new knee, but, look, it's fine 2 years on, it's because I'm an athlete you know, football is good for you

He is a somewhat stubborn character.

My dad was hugely stubborn, but he definitely wished he'd listened to the docs earlier. Months on a stroke ward.
Your dad may think of you as a silly little girl. He won't be thinking that when you're visiting him on the ward and nagging him to do his recovery exercises. It's not just for your dad's sake, the knock on effect of stroke recovery will be on you too presumably.

Spoke to him, he doesn't see it at ALL. But, he said I could speak to his GP, who was brilliant. She referred him to the stroke clinic and a scan found a series of very small previous "lesions".

So, he's having his medication reviewed and will be followed up.

He is not best pleased with me, but, that is ok!

Thanks, all.

That's great hopefully he'll be spared a more serious one with his meds changed.

Good job.
It's difficult because we have to get our own head around our parents not being invincible, then start convincing them.
My Dad is so determined "Not to be a burden on the NHS" he won't even call the surgery any more for routine stuff.
When Dad had a TIA it shocked me, I suddenly saw a weak, small, old man. All at once. He's fine now, on meds, it was bloody hard though he still thought he was the boss of everything. (Still does, still takes the axe or hammer off me )
Hope it's just a warning for him

So glad that your dad went to the GP.

Glad he saw sense and he's getting treatment now.

Thanks all.

You are exactly right, Queef, I was shocked. It's WEIRD to see him as an elderly man. Must be worse for him, I guess.

GP was brilliant. They get a bad rap on here sometimes, but, she really was very kind and understanding to him, but clear about why he needed to be followed up.

Good result OP.

Definitely seek medical help. I don’t understand why you wouldn’t.

@Lalliella

Definitely seek medical help. I don’t understand why you wouldn’t.

RTFT

Speak to him, get him to see a doctor.
Bloody hell.
Side of face "slightly clumsy" is a classic sign.
Better to be safe than sorry, what if he has another one?

Am I right in thinking that his heart medication will reduce his stroke risk anyway?

Well no because he’s been taking that medication and still had a (?) stroke. So how does that make sense?

@Mockolate

Speak to him, get him to see a doctor. Bloody hell. Side of face "slightly clumsy" is a classic sign. Better to be safe than sorry, what if he has another one?

RTFT. The OP's DF has been to the GP and had a scan. It isn't exactly a long thread - why do people not read at least the OPs messages?

FIL did exactly the same.

And two months later he had a second (or possibly third, the daft git had 'an illness' about 3 months before that) that has rendered him like somebody in his 90s instead of 65 and hasn't left his flat in the last three years because he can't walk properly any more. Turns out that SIL thought something was wrong but, as is usual for him, did as he told her, which was to ignore her worries and let him get on with pretending to be 24 until he was in a hospital bed having staff manually evacuate his bowel for him.

Sometimes, I