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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take 1 year old for a day out in London, on my own?

81 replies

CassandrasCastle · 23/05/2021 11:34

More of a, Am I being very feeble...my good friend, who I haven't seen for a long time, will be in London on an upcoming Saturday, and has messaged to ask if I can see her. I would have to go there - it's just under an hour on the train - as she already has other stuff on with various arrangements in London that day/over the weekend. I really really want to see her, but would have to take 13 month old DD as DP is away for work over that weekend. I'm just pretty anxious about taking her buggy on the tube while we're there, even on the train for an hour both ways, when will she nap?...I used to take her on the UBahn all the time when we lived in Berlin last year, but we lived v close to a station and were usually making fairly short trips, and she was smaller and more portable then - and also usually in a much better mood 😬 She's picked up loads of stuff since starting nursery a few weeks ago, and also seems to be teething with a vengeance and is so miserable a lot of the time poor thing.
My DM thinks it's 'unfair to drag her into London'. Is it?? I'm probably putting my own feelings first in wanting to go :/

OP posts:
RickiTarr · 23/05/2021 11:38

Depending on line and destination you can probably pick your final station to make it easier. So I’d pick that carefully and take my lightest buggy but definitely go.

Firawla · 23/05/2021 11:39

Take her - it will be fine!

DarcyLewis · 23/05/2021 11:40

I would find it fine, but if you are very anxious about it it won’t be fun. Could your mum babysit?

LuvMyBubbles · 23/05/2021 11:41

Yes it will be great. So many people help with prams or find the lifts in stations.

Octopuscake · 23/05/2021 11:41

She's got to be somewhere, and if she's a bit miserable and teething, then seeing new things around her will help. Babies aren't like adults, "resting at home" isn't a thing! You bring effectively a bed (buggy), toys, snacks, drinks, she'll do fine.May even nap more than otherwise.

Estasala · 23/05/2021 11:42

How many naps does she have and will she nap in the buggy?

Tk5787338 · 23/05/2021 11:42

If you can just take the train then that’ll be fine but if you’d need to take the tube you’ll have a hard time as a lot of them don’t have lifts. We took DD to London when she was 1 and DH had to carry the pram on the escalator while I held DD.

partyatthepalace · 23/05/2021 11:42

Of course you are putting your own feelings first, and so you should! You want to see your mate who you haven’t seen for ages! The worst that will happen is your daughter will have a grizzly and you’ll finish up early - obviously if someone can babysit for the day that’s better, but if it’s not possible it’s not going to scar her. Your ma is being ridiculous - don’t start the slippery slope to being a martyr to motherhood.

Explain to your mate you need a baby friendly plan - say lunch in kid friendly place, walk in park, big gallery populated by screaming toddlers anyway (that’ll be all of them Grin).

Maybe schedule it so you have lunch first, so if your daughter gets grizzly you have the option to head off early.

eatsleepread · 23/05/2021 11:43

I wouldn't think twice about doing this!

riotlady · 23/05/2021 11:43

Go for it! You must take her out to other places on your own? London really isn’t that much trickier, there’s usually lifts on the tube and if not there’s usually a kind person around who will help. Just think how many people with babies live in London, they all manage ok!

Have a lovely time with your friend and don’t listen to your MIL

User0ne · 23/05/2021 11:43

I'm not sure what your ABU is.

I'd do it without a 2nd thought but I'd use a sling not a buggy.

Koolandorthegang · 23/05/2021 11:44

Really depends on your DD’s temperament. My DD is 1 as well and she’d have a shit fit if she was in the buggy for a few hours. She’s feisty though, very assertive Grin

CecilyP · 23/05/2021 11:44

If you have to go to her, can she not meet you from or near your mainline station so that you can avoid the tube? She might sleep on the train or walking somewhere in the buggy. It won’t necessarily be easy but I don’t think it would be unfair if you want to meet your friend.

Bythemillpond · 23/05/2021 11:45

Will your friend be expecting you to arrive with child?

If so then I would explain about her teething and being a bit of a handful.

If you were going on your own I think you would have a great time as you can pace the day according to dds needs.
Friend might be just expecting you on your own unless she too has a dc with her

Seeline · 23/05/2021 11:46

Check the underground map for stations with step free access and plan your journey that way. In reality most tube stations are fairly close together above ground so the need to go a stop further to get one with a lift is unlikely to mean you need to walk much further.

Trains are easy - at the weekend there is likely to be enough room to just leave her in the buggy whilst travelling. If it's near naptime she may even drop off. One day out if routine won't cause a problem.

Go and have a lovely day!

Bilingualspingual · 23/05/2021 11:46

TFL website will let you know of step-free access/lifts at all stations. Which station would you be coming into?

DancesWithDaffodils · 23/05/2021 11:46

I've said YANBU, but it depends on the plan. If you are going on a shopping trip to harrods, trip round the V&A then afternoon tea at the Ritz it's possibly not a great plan.
If it's something toddler friendly, go for it!

mamamalt · 23/05/2021 11:47

Use the tube map to plan where to go and meet as you can see where has disabled access...I recommend meeting at Green Park as its got lifts and ramps and big park, Palace, coffee places and so on..if weather is nice stoll down to ducks with friend and coffee. Maybe a picnic?
In the absolute nicest possible way you're being a teeny bit feeble! Good planning and packing will make it all OK! I've done it myself, but have done lots on my own as other half works away alot and no other help so I understand this is different. Don't let anxiety let you miss your friend!

FourTeaFallOut · 23/05/2021 11:47

I'm not sure I like anyone enough to take a toddler on public transport only to have to encourage them to be good in a largely none child friendly environment while they become increasingly tired and I try to perform being sociable only to get back on public transport and go home.

But if you like your friend that much YANBU.

MsTSwift · 23/05/2021 11:47

We lived in London when dd that age and the 2 of us went to Paris on our own. We went to stay with friends who had similar aged toddlers. I was apprehensive but it was fine people were so helpful. I did have to sit her on the floor when the buggy went through security 😁. She sat and played in an empty luggage rack on the Eurostar. Was glad I did it was fun and memorable

Wingingthis · 23/05/2021 11:49

I did it all the time when my DD was 1 (moved from London to kent when pregnant so all my friends were in London’)
It’s absolutely finen

LIZS · 23/05/2021 11:49

Use buses, easier than tube with buggy.

woodfort · 23/05/2021 11:51

Wouldn’t bother me. I’ve done it with babies and toddlers before. I normally take a sling rather than pram though.

Alternista · 23/05/2021 11:51

Do it, but as others have said, to make it easier on yourself, plan easy access stations, allow extra time and take lots of snacks!

Bythemillpond · 23/05/2021 11:51

DancesWithDaffodils
Have never done tea at the Ritz but did the test with toddlers.