To feel so embarassed to go to the gym?

[crazykoo124]

Hi

The university I attend has recently started a free membership for a month. I weigh 80kg and I am 5ft3, BMI 31.6 . I am so embarrassed and going to the gym I feel like the biggest person there, I literally feel like an elephant in front of the others, especially as literally all of them are gym bunnies.

I suppose I just wanted some reassurance and if you’ve ever gone through anything like this? Should I go or maybe just try to workout outdoors.... I went a couple days ago and to be honest I worked out for a full hour for the first time in my life. However, everyone around me was running for a whole hour whereas I could barely speed walk for the whole hour. And then I scoured the internet and found someone saying they think it’s ridiculous and a waste of equipment when fat people don’t put 100% into their workouts!!

Sorry if this doesn’t make sense, I’m just feeling very anxious. I am very sick of feeling and looking very overweight, and I’d love to look and feel a lot healthier.

I’m just very embarrassed of my current state and I’m worried about the stares and thoughts that will go through their minds... especially as they are mostly 20 year old perfect looking girls and I am in my 20s and very fat.

Help

In my gym, the walls are covered in full length mirrors and everyone seems to go up close to them when working out, genuinely the only people they look at in thr gym is themselves.

I'm not obese but I worry that I look like an idiot cos I have no idea what I'm doing on the machines I stick to outdoor exercise on the whole.

Am I right in thinking that you spent the whole hour on the treadmill? If this is the case then speak to a trainer then and have them come up with a programme for you. Lifting weights is much better for losing weight and toning your body while the treadmill will be good to use as a warm up /cardio. And, as others have said no one is taking any notice of you so keep it up - you've done the hard bit by going already.

Don't worry about it darling. Gym goers are generally only interested in what they are doing. But if you aren't happy after your free month, do home workouts. Loads on YouTube x good luck.

I had a BMI quite like yours. A BMI of 31.6 is officially obese but not morbidly obese. Theres absolutely no point worrying about it, it's like being an 'elderly prima gravida' which used to be the medical term for having a first baby over 30!! Tbh the point where you hit BMI 29.9 and you're officially overweight not obese is brilliant and you are WAY fitter than people of the same BMI sitting on the sofa. Go to the gym, enjoy yourself, might see you there 👍

You need to style it out. Everyone at work already knows what you look like, and not being slim does not make you less fun, likeable or attractive. It can just make you less fit in the gym. But, so what? It's just one aspect of life. Your fitness will not be a surprise to your gym bunny colleagues, if they even notice, so don't try to hide it, own it. Laugh at yourself, ask for their advice, ignore them, whatever works for you. But try and make it a fun thing. And whatever you do, don't sneak round apologising for yourself as though your few extra kilos give you less right to be there.

Personally when I go to the gym I don't look at anyone around me or look what they are doing, I'm sure a lot of people are the same so don't worry! People are in there to do their own thing 🙂

Fuck them! Everyone has to start somewhere and I am one of them people who can run for an hour now. I was 12 and a half stone when I started at the gym and 5ft3. You are actively doing something to combat your weight and that IMO should be damn well applauded!

I started at 20 mins low intensity and increased.

You go for it!!

@crazykoo124

Thank you so much everyone. I really do appreciate it. I will give it a go tomorrow and be brave.... I really do want to make a change for the better. *@RainingZen* I don’t think I have the confidence to stretch in front of everyone but I can try to stretch before arriving at the gym?? *@SympathyFatigue* thank you for the advice, it really is helpful

Another Q... might sound silly... do you think 80kg at 5ft 3 is morbidly obese? Is it really massive or is it just overweight. My mind tells me different things all the time. I know I need to lose weight full stop, but I can’t kerb the curiosity! Am I really as ginormously massive as I think?

I go to the gym 5 days a week. I'm really fit and am part of the established gym goers at my gym iykwim. When I see a larger person, I am 🙌🏼👏🏻for them. It's great to see people taking ownership of their health.

A church is for sinners! You're doing brilliantly taking the first steps. Yes, you're in the obese category but a loss of a stone or two should bring you down into the overweight category.

Vanish these thoughts out of your head immediately, you are doing great, total admiration for you.You’ve taken your first step, don’t let that self doubt beast into your mind.Just keep going, no matter how you are feeling, just go. Supplement this by walking everywhere you can..You will never look back.

Thank you so much everyone, the support is very kind of you and I do truly feel a bit silly being so worried. I will definitely post an update later tonight.
@VodkaSlimline I’ve bought some decent workout clothes... they’re all black so I feel a bit more invisible hopefully.

Do u know what I think when I see ppl that are overweight at the gym. I think gd on u and I'm sure others do too.

Have you spoken to a trainer at the gym who can give you a programme to work at ? I think that would be helpful if you are just starting out.

Don't worry about the 'gym bunnies' they will all have their own insecurities about their own bodies, even if they look amazing, there will be bits of themselves they aren't happy with or would like to improve.

All the people I know who are gym regulars have actually said they're really impressed when a seriously overweight person goes to the gym. They think "good on you". Go for it!

Thank you everyone. I did go to the gym earlier today for around 55 minutes and i burnt 460 calories (370 active calories). I’m really glad I went, I didn’t think anyone was staring or cared what I was doing. Thank you all, it truly does help and you gave me the confidence to give it a go.
I will hopefully be going a couple times a week in order to lose a whole load of weight hopefully!!

@frumpety I have had a PT Induction in the past. Once I get my general fitness and stamina up a little I may give it a go.

Yay! Well done. Try to go at least 3 times a week if you can!

I am a regular gym-goer, size 8 and I think you are doing so well. I can tell you in all honestly that no one cares about who is in the gym, their shape or form. And I certainly don't have time or care to see how much they are working out!
When I go in I just want to do my own stuff, have some me-time and focus on my workout.
I went this morning at around 9 and if you ask me now who was in the gym I would struggle to give you an answer!

OP go to the gym and forget about anyone else.
This might not be helpful as I can’t relate entirely but I’m probably what you would consider a ‘gym bunny’ and I can honestly say I’ve never looked at anyone in the gym and thought anything negative, I’m always too focussed on what I’m doing than people around me. If I ever have noticed someone who is a bit overweight my first thought is good on them, nothing negative at all. Everyone has to start somewhere and any reasonable person knows that.

I did once go to a spin class, and the lady on the bike next to me was quite overweight and she absolutely beasted the class and I was the one struggling at the end which just goes to show not to judge anyone on the outside. Find what you enjoy and go for it.

I put off going to thy gym for years because I hated the thought of exercising in front of other people. Then I screwed up my courage and found that no one is looking at anyone else anyway.

Good for you OP! I used to be really nervous when I joined our gym too, but actually now I just show up, do my thing and go home feeling glad I went. I've never yet left the centre wishing I hadn't bothered - as pp have said, it does great things for your mindset too. Take advantage of as much free advice as the instructors are willing to give - they'll be rooting for you too.
Oh, and I would recommend measuring yourself now so that in a couple of weeks you can measure again and see what a difference you're making. It's not always easy to tell from the scales but I find measurements help.

I’d echo what pp’s have said - nobody cares at the gym, it’s themselves they are looking at most of the time & if they think anything at all it’s ‘good on you’ because you are making a positive change.

Just one thing though - never stretch before you go to the gym, it could cause an injury. You need to stretch once your muscles are warm. I was a PT 20+ years ago - we were taught then to stretch first after a warm up & then after exercise, these days it seems it’s mostly recommended just after exercise. This article explains it better..

www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/the-importance-of-stretching

Also if you are in a position to do it just one or two sessions with a personal trainer before you start a programme can be really helpful - they can tailor a plan to meet your needs but most importantly teach you good form for exercises, machines & stretches so you get the most benefit from the least effort! I still see people doing things wrong - often with a technique so bad it’ll be doing nothing for them or in a way that will probably end up with them in a Chiropracter’s office! Also people doing abdominal exercises without holding in their stomach muscles - which is basically training yourself to create a sticking out belly (I get that this contradicts the ‘nobody is looking thing I said previously - I’m never judging their bodies or size, I just kind of have to suppress the impulse to interfere!).

I think most people in a gym seeing a larger person in there think 'Good for them going for it' and are aware that gyms can seem intimidating and will be careful not to make people feel unwelcome.