Are you the third friend?

[rosegoldfan]

My daughter is in a friendship group with 2 other girls but tonight she is upset that the other two girls are having a sleepover and she isn't invited.

It got me thinking that as teenagers in the 90s I had two friends but one is still my best friend now, we have known each other since primary. We met our other friend at secondary but she was at the time mates with a girl from another school. We all attended the same dance school so all knew each other and still do. I wondered if my friend ever felt left out over the years. We have been travelling together in years following . See each other separately now as adults and it doesn't matter obviously.

As children though is it sad to be the third friend as my daughter is finding out tonight?

I always seem to be the third friend in all friendships for the past 35 odd years. It is shit.

As above, I have always been the third friend. It still hurts haha.

Yep, always been the third friend!!

I was in a friendship group of 3 growing up too and I felt like we all took it in turns to be the third friend at different stages. It did always suck to be the third friend though
I'm still very good friends with both of them now but they aren't such good friends with each other anymore due to past events. I do find it a lot easier to be friends with them separately than I did when we were a trio - it feels less intense and competitive now!

Yes! I am the third friend in most of my groups.

It bothers me less than it used to, though.

I have at certain times throughout my life been the third friend and it is shit feeling left out.

Now I'm in a group of 3 (sounds so childish saying that) but I'm not the third friend, I don't think it bugs the third friend either as she is so busy with work.

Yes - at school, at work and socially I was the main friend until new friend came along...in my 50s now, so I just let them get on with it.

No, but I have had a few 'third' friends over the years and it's hard to manage. Sometimes you want to be all 3 together, sometimes you just want to do something with one of your friends. I'm not saying this is the case with your daughter but I have always found there is a reason someone is the third friend, whether it's due to length of friendship/different interests/slight personality clashes etc etc.
I've always tried to be kind to all concerned but inevitably there is sometimes an upset. I can only advise your daughter tries to stay chilled and happy with the other two as they may not have meant it as a slight against her but just wanted some time as a two. I understand its

Sorry my cat pushed my hand and this posted before I'd finished!
...I understand it's SO hard but hopefully they didnt mean to upset her and she can keep being good friends with them but knowing she might not always be invited. Bless her, it's hard being young at times!