DS13 - swapped at birth? (lighthearted)

[PandaLady]

My DS13 opened a conversation at lunch today by saying: "I've just been researching atomic particles and it is really interesting." He then scribbled down some numbers for me and taught me standard formula which he learnt at school this week and enjoyed. He has memorised the periodic table and has been teaching himself coding in his spare time.

He really loves science and maths and I am shocked at how much he knows. He was academically very average at primary school and goes to a bog standard under-performing comp. He is being assessed for ASD and I have been told he will receive a diagnosis, so I guess that plays a big factor in the way he is?

I don't know where his brain has come from. DH and I were both disappointingly average at school.

Anyone else feel as though their child has abilities that way surpass their own?

DP and I both passed 'O' level maths (shows age), but mostly because we knew we would need it to progress to University. Both of us can sort out our household accounts etc and know what interest rates are, but stuff like logarithms and trigonometry and algebra are long long forgotten due to complete lack of interest. On the other hand we can both discuss the history of Tudor England and Palaeontology with enthusiasm.

DD2 got a full set of A*s for Maths Further Maths and Physics and followed it up with a Russell Group university First in Pure Maths. And looks politely bewildered about anything that happened before about 2015.

My DS is similar, started algebra at 7 and never looked back, I had to resit my maths 🤣 Now studying Maths.

My Dd1 is the same, she’s 17 now and doing A level, chasing a place at Oxford. She’s also Autistic. I’m not intelligent at all, only one person in our family has gone to uni 😬. Not sure where she gets it from. I actually find it really hard to listen to her because her intelligence goes right over my head.

I scraped through O level maths and my late DH had to re-take his. We were both non-mathematical but very literary - I'm a teacher, DH had a PhD in comparative literature and spoke several languages. DD1 is like us, loves English, History and languages. DD2 (Yr 10) absolutely loves maths and statistics and would like to do maths at university. I have often wondered where her maths brain (which I admire very much!) comes from. My late FIL was a surveyor and quite analytical so maybe it comes from him, it's the nearest thing to maths ancestry I can think of!

@Lovemusic33 I am trying so very hard to understand the stuff he explains...my fear is eventually he will realise I am not 'of his world' and just a rather average mortal

Dd can do the most amazing paintings and can really capture a likeness. Neither me or DH can manage to hold a pencil properly, let alone draw something recognisable.

Ds1 is really musical. I am tone deaf. Dh is slightly better, but not as good as ds1.

Ds2 is my boy- we have very similar strengths and weaknesses

[quote PandaLady]@Lovemusic33 I am trying so very hard to understand the stuff he explains...my fear is eventually he will realise I am not 'of his world' and just a rather average mortal [/quote]
My dd often talks to me like I’m stupid 🤣 I am a lesser mortal. She often corrects me.

@BobBobBobbing my ds3 is 7 and is hilariously like me - enthusiastically getting it all wrong academically with an astonishing ability to talk his way out of anything!

If you’re worried at all, my advice to you would be not to other him. My father abd my husband are also ridiculously gifted at maths/logic. Can turn their hand to any problem.
Both their mothers were a combination of in awe and afraid for/of them because they were unlike the rest of the family. Damaged both their relationships with their mums.

My mum is also bright so unsurprisingly my sibs and I aren’t thick. She was always careful to applaud the stuff we were good at but focused harder on the ‘areas for development’ as she called them - usually social or creative. We never thought we were all that, but knew she was proud and would back us to the hilt. This is what I’m doing with my 3 - all bright, but I’m guessing at least one is full on outlier bright.

We are quite close I think, even though there is this huge disparity between our ability in Maths/Science. We make each other laugh and find each other easy company.

My Dad was very clever and went to Oxford. I think his parents found his intelligence alien and intimidating and they were never close.

I have just been explaining to ds that sewing (my job) is based around Maths so I suspect he gets it all from me not true

I have a son who was like this as a youngster. Fiercely competitive but very good at numbers. His GF was an accountant and used to challenge him to double numbers. I remember him at about 6 getting up to huge numbers in his head with Grandad and being amazed. He went on to a 1st in maths at a RG university and works in data analysis.

Both Dh and I have good degrees but he is definitely brighter than us, I think he is a throw back to a previous generation, a great grandmother was a very early maths graduate when women were only just allowed to graduate.

my DD she loves fashion is artistic and the popular girl at school. She even enjoys making her own clothes- I mean wtf!!

While the rest of us (DH, me & sibling), rather be not noticed and prefer to bury our head in books. If it is not practical, it just hasn't space in our lives! But DD, well...

@Ylvamoon I always think of the Ab Fab character Saffy who just wanted to live a studious, sensible life and had the complete opposite in her Mum!

DS13 may be yours then He chooses his clothes on the basis of what will be least noticed. He wishes he could buy a cloak of invisibility and go places without being looked at.

I on the other hand, love clothes in bright colours and make my own. I recently suggested I might wear my homemade stuff to a job interview (for a Sewing Tutor) and my son was horrified!!

DS1 is autistic as is my DF and they present very similarly. Astounding in Maths and science . Ds1 is eight and at bedtime one night designed an engine. Not being mechanically minded myself I was describing it to DF who was impressed because he said it was damn close to actually being able to work.

I think its different skillsets. I class myself as very intelligent in my own right but its far more about words , I've had high level roles and succeeded academically but if you handed me an engine I wouldn't know what to do with it and Maths makes me break out in a cold sweat.

DP and DS1 can discuss all manner of coding and equations but I often have to rewrite DP information for training lol.

Ds2 is a fantastic all rounder and has the charm of the gods , that boy can talk himself out of anything (and into anything wherein lies the problem ).

It's just different skillsets. My DF achieved two 1st class degrees at the same time whilst working fulltime with a family , but when he was doing something for the golf club we had a relay of the family to be with him at all times because he can't complete the most basic tasks.

Ds1 can tell you the Latin name of every single dinosaur and the etymology of the change in name but regularly can't figure out how to cross the road or the ability to put his shoes on.

DP can code and create a website for me in an hour but can remember a single philosopher whereas I can quote Descartes and Proust and argue intelligently about the difference and I got lost in a car park 4 times in 2019

And looks politely bewildered about anything that happened before about 2015

DSS (17) is like a human encyclopaedia of British history. I found history dull and dropped it when I took my Year 9 options. To his credit, he makes it all seem far more interesting than any teacher ever did.

DS (12) spent about 5 years obsessed with civil aviation. Last year when lockdown ended I took him for a lesson on a 737 simulator. He was only 11 so I had to phone up and ask for an exception to their 12-and-over rule. The instructor ended up leaving his seat and letting DS fly it by himself. He did around 3 touch-and-goes, 3 landings, 2 takeoffs, plus holding patterns and an emergency descent all with just verbal instruction. The instructor said they’ve had a couple of other children come in and do the same.

DD (11) is in the process of overtaking me at art. It used to be her asking me for advice, but I sense that is soon to reverse...

My DD hates curries but will happily eat her own body weight in roast potatoes...if it wasn't for the fact that the only other child in the small hospital maternity ward when she was born, was a boy, I'd definitely would be wondering if she was actually mine.

When ds13 was born, my sister came to visit and said he looked puzzled, as though he'd been delivered to the wrong address. Another family member said he resembled Rodin's 'The Thinker'

People used to look into his pram and comment that he didn't look very happy - I used to say he was in a bad mood that day which was a lie as he hardly smiled ever. However, he is the kindest, funniest person I know now. It's as though he was too mature to be a baby...

My DS is crazy clever. I have to mention his Asperger to people almost as an excuse for being so intelligent.

If anyone asks where he got his brain, I tell them must be from DH as I’ve still got mine.

@PandaLady Love this post. My DS (15) alternates between being standoffish and cool - and waxing lyrical about how much he loves quadratic equations and even trying to demonstrate them to me. I hated maths with a passion, and loved English (which he finds very boring). Kids ...

This is a lovely thread :)

Sounds just like my ds - who is also autistic.

He researched information he can reel off from me with and I have no idea what he's in about 🤣🤣

And when it come to organisation (I've very organised and tidy and a list maker) we are also polar opposites