My husband plays golf 2x per week AND takes the car

[Aimsmv]

So h plays golf every weekend and one weeknight every week and takes the car. We only have one car as he sold our second one during lockdown. I have a five month old baby and a two year old. And my parents/family live on the other side of the world. I feel a blackout rage every time he plays golf. He says I can take the same time for myself but all I want is 1-2 hours of me time which he does give me but again takes the car and takes the kids to his mums. Thoughts? Am I being a victim?

Sorry misunderstanding. He plays golf once everyweekend and has picked up the weeknight since golf courses reopened after lockdown. After 2nd baby was born. I agreed to selling the car because he seemed really proud of himself for working out how to save money. Which now that I'm writing it seems like a really stupid reason.

It sounds like you need two cars!

I would suggest you plan to buy a car for yourself, tell him it was a mistake and you feel trapped.
I hope you have a personal bank account and a private pension ?
Are you planning on going back to work ?

So it's maybe 8-10 hrs a week? Could he change one of the sessions to every other week? That would give you more time together.
You also need to not feel guilty about taking 'me-time' but if you genuinely don't want it, it's not fair to be angry at your husband for taking some for himself.

Sorry, I don’t know why I thought he played both days at the weekend!

I don’t think one weekend day - even 5 hours - is that big a deal, and even with the additional evening in the week. Obviously depends on the detail - I’d be happier with 08:00-13:00 than 11:00-16:00 as the latter massacres an entire day!

And of course, it depends on whether you need him at home for a specific reason, or if he denies you the same chance for leisure time. It also depends on whether he pulls his weight when he is home. But there’s nothing absolutely wrong about having that time off.

I don’t think you can blame him for selling the car. Sounds like it made financial sense, and he asked your opinion. Not his fault you didn’t mean your yes!

Have you actually told him - we have one car, so I need it?