To just want to use the toilet like everyone else?

[Bearsinmotion]

Really pisses me off. Not least because I complained about this a couple of years ago and nothing has changed.

At soft play with the kids, whole place was purpose built a couple of years ago. Nice big open plan gender neutral toilet area, baby change, low level sinks and hand driers for the kids, really well thought through.

BUT no accessible toilets. There is one tucked away from the main area. With a sign saying that to access the disabled toilet you had to ask for the key at reception. Not a radar key.

Why? Why can’t I just use the most appropriate toilet for my needs like everyone else? Why do I have to ask? Why? When I can’t walk very far, I have to walk further than everyone else? Why do people who are more likely to need to access toilets quickly have to wait longer than anyone else? I actually think I know at this particular place because when I asked previously to be unlocked it took five minutes for them to move all the cleaning stuff out of the way.

Utterly infuriating. I had been really looking forward to bringing the kids back, I had forgotten how sad and angry this makes me.

Boils my piss.
I'm an ambulatory wheelchair chair user.
And it's getting harder for me to hold things in when I need to go.
Having to ask people for anything, even pre wheelchair, was hard because I have a communication disability too.
I embarrass easily.
Today I couldn't get to the accessible toilet at the train station because there were buggies in the way, waiting for the changing facility. Different room but off the same space.
One lady had to manoeuvre Her buggy in some sort of Pilates fashion so I could get in.
I'd love to just be able to roll into the loo without any bother. No asking. No gatekeeping. No effing buggies.

Misused? At a soft play? It's a kids' play establishment, not Club 21 in Magaluf.

I feel your pain sister!

I also have a speech impediment which means I find talking to strangers difficult, and why the hell should I, just because I need a wee!

That’s a very good point Ellpellwood!

@Inextremis

Maybe we should all ask venues about their accessible loos? Just make a point of asking when you visit somewhere - it would raise awareness and maybe do something to make the situation better - it'd only take a minute. I think I'm going to do it (in Ireland, so not for a while as nothing's open at the moment) - minor inconvenience for me, might be of benefit to others. Anyone else?

That is a very good point. When you're out and about anywhere, but especially places you are unlikely to visit again... go up to the staff "I'm here with x and y today, but we might like to come back with my disabled father as well - can I please check the accessible toilets please as I have found that many places are not as good as they purport?" If it is not quick and easy to get unobstructed access give them a massive piece of your mind and leave appropriate feedback online.

Let's not forget, come next week it could be any one of us in the same position, so it's not even like it's an entirely selfless thing to do. Plus the places that do genuinely make an effort deserve praise and probably go the extra mile in other ways too.

A lot of places are switching from Radar keys as anyone can order them online, my friend was at work, a man told him he’d heard someone screaming in the disabled toilet, they both went to check and were worried someone was being hurt in the radar key bathroom, announcing they were outside and were they ok, heard more screaming and banging, opened toilet to a couple having sex... so other people abusing the radar key system means companies have to change it.

I think it shouldn't be your problem to resolve, once you have complained. Responses asking why you haven't done this or that are either badly phrased or deliberately aggressive.

When I worked as Head of Customer Experience for a large casual dining chain a disabled customer complained and asked that I meet him at the restaurant. He then came into the toilet in his wheelchair and demonstrated (non-explicitly) how difficult it was for him. I'll never forget it and it made us change x

Unless it's a listed building and they can't make adjustments you're perfectly within your rights to make a fuss x

I'll complain for you (if you wish) - just PM me and I'll give them hell!

YANBU
It really irritates me when places lock the accessible toilet and you have to ask for them to open it.
Nobody else has to ask permission to go to the toilet!
If I was designing a soft play, I'd have as many family bathrooms that are fully accessible as practical. Obviously the majority of people are going to have fairly young children with them.

I find it particularly frustrating as everything else is so well designed! The main toilet area is huge, open plan with 4 separate baby change cubicles, one of which could easily be redesigned as an accessible toilet. The place is only 4 years old. Luckily my kids are getting too old for the whole thing now.

YANBU - it's appalling that toilet facilities for people with disabilities are often anything but accessible If people without disabilities had to faff about with keys/moving stuff etc., there would rightly be uproar.

I have a friend who has colitis - her needing to ask/move things could be the difference between her making it to the toilet in time or not she generally uses accessible toilets as it gives her more privacy.

I actually refuse to eat at a local restaurant because of their lack of thought for people with disabilities. The whole place is very modern, fairly recent refit. Yet when I wanted to go with a wheelchair user, I realised that our choice of table would be severely limited due to no lifts to the second floor and there was no toilet on the ground floor

Sadly, I'm not sure what the answer is. I think unless people are affected themselves or know someone who is, they don't give it much thought.

This would drive me nuts. Like you have to almost ask permission to use the loo? Wtf?! Why have they made it so bloody difficult? Please write a Trip Advisor review, it’s very powerful.

Thanks for the reminder re trip advisor, done that now!

I have often wondered about a thought experiment where you just randomly pick someone from a crowd and arbitrarily impose on them the kind of restrictions that I see on a regular basis - the above being a good example?

Want to get the train? Everyone else can get on wherever they want, except you! You must get on here! Oh, actually you can’t, someone has a bike, you need to wait for the next one!

Want to go shopping? Come on in! Except you, you have to ring the bell and we will come and serve you in the street. When we have time. If we hear the bell and we’re not too busy.

Need the toilet? Fine, go ahead! Except you, you must find a member of staff first and get their permission!

I do have some sympathy in that it is hard to understand the frustration when it’s not your daily reality, but then there are things like this where, seriously, it’s not hard a problem to solve if you just apply a little thought!

@Bearsinmotion you make some great points! (I now wish I was an interior designer). The permission thing you wrote just now needs to be turned into a comedy sketch. It would go viral!