To be really pissed off that my friend always wants to phone and refuses to text?

[sogrumpy]

Me and my friend are both 30, we're very close. Today I had her 1 year old all day whilst she worked. So she offered to have 7 year old till about 9 tonight. She has a child the same age as my daughter also so they hang out.

Anyways she's a big caller, she likes to chat on the phone which is fine most of the time but I haven't had a minute today and I am knackered. I was chatting on the phone to her after dropping my daughter off earlier and I was pretty quiet as I was tired which she knew.

She said, 'okay I'll let you go then and relax'. About 30 minutes later she phoned and I was in the middle of my dinner so didn't answer. She then text me, is it okay if daughter goes to the park across from mine? So we text back and forth about that.

She then about an hour later phoned again, i missed call as was in a shower, I got out the shower and noticed missed call. I text again saying, 'is everything okay? Do you want me to come pick daughter up now?' And she replied, 'phone me for 2 minutes please'.

I got just scream, like I'm in such a downer tonight I really am. We constantly, constantly communicate her way - why does she insist on a phone call? What can't she just text? I'm honestly really pissed off about it tonight I feel like I'm bombarded and it's a complete lack of respect for me.

I've just text saying, 'do you need me to pick her up? Why can't you just text?'

In the time she's been trying to phone me she could of written a quick text. I'm honestly so pissed off.

AIBU?

Just send her that text message you wrote?

There are lots of reasons that she could prefer calls. But it’s ok to state your preferences so you can meet in the middle.

Sometimes it does feel like people communicate more clearly on the phone. Typing back and forth can be tiring and take longer to clear up a point than just speaking. You can also tell from tone of voice how someone's feeling more easily than through a text.

That said, I usually prefer a text, too, and if she knows you like texts better, she should try to do it your way, sometimes. YANBU to expect her to use both methods.

Aside: I particularly hate texts or voice messages (back when people left them!) basically just saying "call me back". I felt visceral dread in my stomach. Why not give me a clue what it's about, at least?! It felt like they were setting me up for an ambush!

Why do you need a constant stream of communication whether by text/phone? Can't you just fix a time to pick up your daughter when you drop her off?

@katy1213 yes we did, 9pm, but she keeps calling me about small things. Like can your daughter go play in the park etc? Is she allowed to do this etc? I wouldn't mind a text but when she calls I'm stuck on for ages it feels.

I agree it's really annoying

Tell her you don't want to know unless hospitals are involved! And stop answering. remember the good old days when kids went out to play and came back at mealtimes? Like that!

I hate texting with a passion. I loathe it when people try to make me text. If someone texts me, I'll usually just call them with the reply.

If it's a long or complicated thing you have to say then sometimes it is easier to ring.

But if someone has initiated a convo by text and hasn't rung or asked to ring then that's how i continue. It's (modern) manners imo

Suddenly ringing feels a bit demanding. Like banging on the door