AIBU to put 3.5 year old to bed and ignore him ?

[Lipsmouth]

He shouts out for more hugs, kisses etc and I usually go in every 5 mins and put him back in bed, hug and tell him to go to sleep. I just want to be able to relax not spend up to an hour in abs out his room!! Am I being cruel?

I don’t think you’re being cruel OP.

I have a 3.5 year old and we still lie with him until he falls asleep. Find it much less of a headache - most of the time he is out like a light in 10mins and if he ever does wake up in the evening (rare) one of us just goes back up and cuddles him until he falls back to sleep (take less than 5 mins until he is ill)

I just tend to do whatever for an easier life and this way works well for us!

Yep, nip it in the bud if he's not super distressed but just trying it on a bit as kids do. You have to draw the line somewhere. Give him a proper routine with a definitive end point and I'm sure he won't turn into Prince Harry.

What time do they go to bed? Another 3.5 year old here and we do shut the door... but they either go straight to sleep or we spend the next hour going in to tell them to stop jumping on the bed!

Some nights he goes straight over, some I have to go back in a few times and cover him back up and hug him and other nights this is on repeat for up to an hour. At his dads he goes straight to sleep, I think because his dad is very firm with him and his dad thinks I’m soft and that’s why he’s like it with me and that I should be more firm etc

Stay strong, nip it in the bud and be consistent and in a week or so he will hopefully stop.

@AdjustableAssholeSettings he goes up between 7 and 730. The second the doors shut (there is a gate too) he’s out and stood at door shouting “come hug me” or “I don’t wanna go to sleep”
I usually stay in my room till he settles then I go downstairs. He doesn’t play with toys at this time just stands at the gate wanting me.

Just sit with him? 10 mins and he'll be asleep. Once he matures a bit he'll go to sleep himself - it doesn't last forever. Meet a need and the need goes away and all that....

Get a sand timer for 15/20/30 mins. Tell him he can call you when all the sand has run out.

Hopefully he will fall asleep watching the sand. You can start with the 15 mins and work upwards.

@OwlinaTree genius

@Teacupsandtoast

Just sit with him? 10 mins and he'll be asleep. Once he matures a bit he'll go to sleep himself - it doesn't last forever. Meet a need and the need goes away and all that....

Not necesssarily. I have friends with 8/9 year olds who cannot fall asleep on their own and still require mum or dad to lie with them. Not all kids just grow out of it. I have one friend who has to lie with her dc for two hours before they settle.

Better to push on and try and establish boundaries now op. You can be tough in a gentle way and it’s better for everyone in the long run.

I still lie on the floor next to my nearly 4 year old’s bed until she’s asleep. As a young toddler she used to scream the place down while I lay there, then we progressed to no screaming but still taking up to 2 hours to go to sleep but now she generally closes her eyes and goes straight to sleep so I’m only there for a few minutes. I’m hoping it won’t be much longer before I can just say ‘good night’ and leave her to it!