Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

6 year old used the word sexy

87 replies

Popchips · 21/05/2021 16:07

Hi my 6 year old daughter came home from school and described a boy in her classes hair as sexy.
I’ve told her this word is not appropriate and I don’t want to hear it again. She told me that others in her class use the word.
AIBU to complain to her teacher and for the teacher to maybe speak to the children?

Or are you all eye rolling me?

As a family we do not use bad language and although the word isn’t a swear word I feel it’s not age appropriate.

OP posts:
Sawyersfishbiscuits · 21/05/2021 16:38

Ew no, I don't like that for a 6 year old to say. I would just say, 'we don't say that' and move on. Definitely don't get in touch with school.

Thistles24 · 21/05/2021 16:45

I’m not keen on children using the word, but a lot of them get it from Shrek- I know mine did! And to be honest, I hadn’t picked up that they even said it in the movie, it just sounded so unusual coming out of their mouths.

AlmostSummer21 · 21/05/2021 16:51

i've told her this word is not appropriate and I don’t want to hear it sgain

AIBU to complain to her teacher and for the teacher to maybe speak to the children?

Or

I haven’t told her off I have a very relaxed open relationship with my child. I’ve just explained it’s a grown up word

You're changing the narrative as people have commented on your unreasonable reaction

I don't like children saying it either, it is an adult description BUT in many parts of the country adult will say things to toddlers like 'come here sexy bum' or whatever. It grates on me, but no harm meant. I'm sure one of the kids have picked it up at home or on the radio/tv and enjoyed the reaction it got, so are now being the 'cool kid' and spreading it about.

Things will get much worse I'm sure I found a stiff ignoring if it was song lyrics, a light 'that's a word for adults, it's inappropriate for children'.

Original poster
Popchips · 21/05/2021 16:55

I told her it’s not an appropriate word for her age. I told her it’s a grown up word and I don’t want to hear it again.

I haven’t changed what I said. I didn’t yell at her- I spoke to her about it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Popchips · 21/05/2021 16:58

I’m surprised a lot of people think this is ok- guess my opinion isnt very popular.
I remember saying fart as a child and being told off!

OP posts:
StarlightLady · 21/05/2021 16:59

According to the Cambridge Dictionary, sexy can also mean interesting or attractive.

Original poster
Popchips · 21/05/2021 17:00

To most people it means sexually attractive

OP posts:
Hallyup6 · 21/05/2021 17:02

@Popchips

Thanks everyone for your honest advice. I haven’t told her off I have a very relaxed open relationship with my child. I’ve just explained it’s a grown up word. I won’t contact her teacher - I can see most people agree that that would be over reacting.

The word sexy is describing someone as sexually attractive so I don’t think this is appropriate.

Not to a six year old it isn't. To a six year old it's hilarious, along the lines of bum and poop. A six year old hasn't got a clue about sexual attraction.
StyleAndLasers · 21/05/2021 17:03

When I was in infants school in the 70s, aged five, we had a playground clapping rhyme that went "Under the apple tree/ my boyfriend said to me/ kiss me cuddle me/ Tell me that you love me/ When we get married/ We will have a family/ A boy for you a girl for me/ Umdiddley um dum - sexy!" Except I used to say set-see because I didn't know what sexy was.

We also at the same age had "under the brown bush" - "Under the brown bush, under the sea, Boom boom boom, True love for you my darling, true love for me. So, a boy for you and a girl for me, how's your father, sexy!".

I suppose what I am saying is, it was ever thus.

HoldontoOneMoreDay · 21/05/2021 17:04

I would have pulled a 6 yo up on it and am surprised to be in the minority on that to be honest. I wouldn't speak to the teacher though as it isn't a swear word. I've seen threads on here where people have been complaining about people referring to babies as 'my sexy lil man' Envy so think it's easy to see where a kid might have picked the word up.

ForThePurposeOfTheTape · 21/05/2021 17:04

@Popchips

I’m surprised a lot of people think this is ok- guess my opinion isnt very popular. I remember saying fart as a child and being told off!
I think it's hard to shield 6yo from words like that because they are exposed to stuff like school and pop music. I wouldn't be surprised if a 6yo knew what twerking or being drunk meant either.
ForThePurposeOfTheTape · 21/05/2021 17:07

@StyleAndLasers

When I was in infants school in the 70s, aged five, we had a playground clapping rhyme that went "Under the apple tree/ my boyfriend said to me/ kiss me cuddle me/ Tell me that you love me/ When we get married/ We will have a family/ A boy for you a girl for me/ Umdiddley um dum - sexy!" Except I used to say set-see because I didn't know what sexy was.

We also at the same age had "under the brown bush" - "Under the brown bush, under the sea, Boom boom boom, True love for you my darling, true love for me. So, a boy for you and a girl for me, how's your father, sexy!".

I suppose what I am saying is, it was ever thus.

Did you sing "I went to a Chinese restaurant"?

We used to sing

I went to a Chinese restaurant,
To buy a loaf of bread, bread, bread,
I went up to the counter,
And this is what he said, said, said.
My name is,
Elvis Presley, girls are sexy,
Sitting on the back seat drinking Pepsi.

I know there's a lot of alternative version of the last verse these days but I probably learned it from this song.

ForThePurposeOfTheTape · 21/05/2021 17:08

Actually the words we sand were

I went to a Chinese restaurant,
To buy a loaf of bread, bread, bread,
I wrapped it up in a five pound note
And this is what he said, said, said.
My name is,
Elvis Presley, girls are sexy,
Sitting on the back seat drinking Pepsi

The other version I got from Google

Dishwashersaurous · 21/05/2021 17:10

Its a word in popular culture, they even use it on radio 4. Its not the greatest choice for a six year old, but it isn't bad language.

Now have gangnam style stuck in my head....

Flowerlane · 21/05/2021 17:12

I would get prepared for far worse words to be repeated at home then the word sexy!

There is always at least 1 child in the class who knows the swear words and decides to spread it round the class. We have had many of words brought up at the dinner tableGrin

Onairjunkie · 21/05/2021 17:13

I have a very relaxed open relationship with my child

Do you? Because I’m pretty you just flapped about and told her never to use that word again. AND wanted to contact the teacher. 😂

toocold54 · 21/05/2021 17:16

I would feel uncomfortable about a 6 year old using the word sexy but I wouldn’t say anything to school as there’s not much they can do and they probably say a lot worse in the playground.
There was a book I used to read to my DD that used the word sexy in it which she thought was gross but it’s probably because it sounds like sex.

Nohomemadecandles · 21/05/2021 17:16

What would you be hoping for from school? Honestly, they're going to come out with all sorts of words in the years to come. You deal with it yourself. But I can't get upset about sexy. It's fairly commonplace in music & TV & media and she won't be using it to mean sexually attractive.

I can't get worked up about fart either. Is trump somehow better? Jo Nesbo's Fart Powder series is great. You're missing out.

toocold54 · 21/05/2021 17:17

Did you sing "I went to a Chinese restaurant"?

I forgot about this GrinGrin

Butteredtoast55 · 21/05/2021 17:21

I think it is inappropriate for a child to use. Just because TV and talent shows sexualise everything doesn't mean that it should be accepted that children will use terms like 'sexy' or 'hot' (something one of our Reception children described herself as).

CasaBonita · 21/05/2021 17:26

Ugh, I wouldn't like that either. I also have a 6 yr old.

Really don't get the people telling you to take a chill pill. I find that odd!

ViciousJackdaw · 21/05/2021 17:43

@ForThePurposeOfTheTape

Actually the words we sand were

I went to a Chinese restaurant,
To buy a loaf of bread, bread, bread,
I wrapped it up in a five pound note
And this is what he said, said, said.
My name is,
Elvis Presley, girls are sexy,
Sitting on the back seat drinking Pepsi

The other version I got from Google

I remember that, did you do the handclaps with a friend as well?
Original poster
Popchips · 21/05/2021 17:50

To say to a child - I don’t want to hear that word again, isn’t being hard.
If my child does something that I think is wrong I’m not going to say. Hey please only do that once in a while.
If I was going to speak to her teacher it would have been a quiet word to maybe keep an eye on conversations in the class in case some were not age appropriate.

I’m not going to speak to the school.

However speaking to my child and asking her not to use a word is
Not exactly being too harsh

OP posts:
Howshouldibehave · 21/05/2021 17:54

AIBU to complain to her teacher and for the teacher to maybe speak to the children?

Unless you are suggesting that the teacher has taught the children this word, then YWBVU to complain to the teacher for this!!

Quackd · 21/05/2021 17:55

OP, it's fine to tell her the word is inappropriate, but speaking to the teacher would be going too far. They can't police every conversation. Young children pick words up from older siblings and tv. There will be more to come. I told my boys at the same age that if they hear any swear words it's fine to ask me what they mean, but otherwise they shouldn't use them because they sound unpleasant and often mean horrible things. If we heard bad language on TV or in the street I just rolled my eyes and said how horribly aggressive it sounded. They're now 14 and 17 and still don't use disrespectful language or swear - at least certainly not in my hearing.