To not want to do the after school park trips........

[Slimmum32]

I'm not sure if I'm being silly but the thought of going to the park after school pick up fills me with dread and anxiety. Usually every day the mums from my daughter's class will go to the park and inevitably gossip about everyone else and my daughter always asks to go but I just hate the park. I also find it very anxiety inducing trying to watch my daughter, look after my 3 year old AND try to socialize with the other mums who I have very little in common with anyway. What gets me though is,that the other mums just seem to let their kids get on with it and are not worried if their child is out if sight. They literally don't seem bothered and would rather chat away mindlessly to each other. I get bloody heart palpitations and sweats if I can't see my daughter and I just find the whole thing stressful hence why I avoid it. Am I doing the right thing though? I always feel guilty not taking her after school but she does have playdates and friends outside of school. I think I just hate school pick up in general. All the pointless chit chat and gossiping is horrible.

Don't then ! It's not mandatory

I’d go for your daughter. Not every day though. But just have a plan of what to say, like, I need to just go over there to watch my 3 year old. So you can be friendly but not have to chat.

I hated doing that too, I'm lucky that I live short walking distance to the park so used to go home first for half hour, drop bags off get a drink then went back when less busy but still a few kids around.

Could you arrange to go with just one child and parent to the woods...parks are a social fanfare but people families dont tend to go to the woods...

Why can’t your daughter play with her friends and you play with your three year old and keep an eye on both of them. The socialising with other parents bit is not compulsory. I wouldn’t go every day, but I do take my kids once or twice a week - I don’t want them to miss out, especially as they’ve had many months of no play dates etc.

Depends what type of park. If it is a playground with one entrance/exit then you don't need to keep an eye on your child the whole time.
If by park you mean vast open space with loads of bushes and hidden areas then that is different.
Maybe just do it occasionally so your DD gets the fun, but not every day.

I would go once or twice a week. If you don’t want to chat to the other mums just play with your three year old.

Just go to a different park

I’d force myself to go. It’s great for your daughters friendships and although the first few times might feel uncomfortable the parents will start to talk to you. It’s usually only for about half an hour or an hour anyway. People have places to go and things to do. I used to have this mantra that helped me get over a lot of anxieties - it was ‘No matter how awful this is it will be over in an hour/2hours’. And you just suck it up for that amount of time. Do you have anyone you could drag with you the first few times?

I would go, your DD will love it and your 3 year old gives you a perfect excuse not to chat.

How old is your DD and does she really need to be in your sight at all times? Can you trust her to stay in the playground? Is she especially clumsy or risk taking? No judgment either way, I have one DC who I would have needed to watch constantly at reception age and one DC who I knew would be fine.

Do the other mums have older kids… may explain why they are more relaxed.. we all tend to be more relaxed with our later DC.