To say I don't want to go on this "date"?

[sunblowman]

I had a first date with a guy two weeks ago it was meant to be a couple of drinks.
He got so drunk and was slurring his words,wobbly on his feet etc.

Anyway my friend said give him another chance.
So said we can meet tonight.
Now he's said we can go on a pub crawl in the city centre.
I really don't feel this is a date.
It's gonna be him getting drunk again.

Aibu to suggest a meal and a couple of drinks instead?
It's chucking it down with rain,I don't want to walk bar to bar hoping there's a table.

Don't get me wrong I don't mind a few drinks but it's not my thing going from pub to pub in the rain.
Most places are bookings only so very few walk ins.
I think me and him are too different.
I love going out for food or day trips to the lakes.
Things like that

Cancel the date (and possibly the friend - she has given you terrible advice).

Can’t believe you are even considering it! No way.
If you want a night out go with someone else. I’d query why your “friend” wants you to go to. A proper friend wouldn’t.

He is a drinker. He got hammered on your first date and his suggestion for the second chance second date is to do it again. Not a remorseful, let's do something that isn't alcohol focused.

I had an ex like that a thousand years ago. I made too many excuses, stayed too long and felt like their carer on nights out. He has things to work through before he is anywhere near a good enough bf for you.

Why doesn't your friend 'give him a chance'?

Sounds like you have little in common.

Yuck.

I wouldn’t go. Even if he had too much to drink the first time due to nerves, he’s hardly trying to impress you this time is he.

You are not compatible and he cares more about alcohol than dating

I love a drink and still think a pub crawl sounds like a shit date, and like he's trying to get you drunk.

Tell him that you're not up for a pubcrawl because of the rain. Say that you don't feel you really got to know him last time because of the amount drunk and suggest going for a meal instead.

Eat up, let him pay and say good day.
Waste his money for him wasting your time.

I perhaps would have gone on a second date if he’d apologised and put the first date drunkenness down to nerves or something, but no way would I go on a second date if he thought that was acceptable behaviour and wanted a repeat performance.

I think giving him a second chance was the right thing - he might have been drinking so much due to first meeting nerves. Now he thinks a pub crawl is a suitable second date I think it's clear it wasn't down to nerves and he's just a big drinker. Suggest the dinner if you really want but be prepared for him to say no or to get hideously drunk over dinner - otherwise just call it all off.

He's shown you what he's like on the first date. Most people would be on better behaviour to impress on a first date but he couldn't even be bothered. Do you really want to be involved with a drunk? Cancel the date and block him.

When they show you who they really are, listen.

Invite a friend for a meal instead.

Lifetime of problems. Avoid.

It sounds like he's an alcoholic.
You can't be that desperate for some entertainment, can you?

Your friend has low standards. I would bin him off.

Did you get on with him before he got drunk?

Could it be that he was nervous and drank too quick?

When he says a pub crawl, it does indicate that he likes drinking, most people do pub crawls to get in as much drink possible.

Sometimes we need more than one date to see what a person is really like. If you think you'd like to see if he does have a drink problem then I'd contact him and say you'd rather go for a meal. If he pushes the pub crawl then I'd leave it and not see him. If he does take up the restaurant suggestion then you'll know by how much he drinks at the meal if he has a problem.

While first impressions last, sometimes we do things out of character and behave in a way we wouldn't usually.

Do yourself a favour and cancel. You won’t regret it.

I wouldn’t go - and I really wouldn’t have given him a second chance anyway!

Have some self respect and when a man gets wasted on a first date just block and move on. This is not a keeper.

I wouldn't bother tbh. Many of us have drunk too much out of nerves so I might give him a second chance as long as he wasn't an obnoxious drunk. However, he wants to spend that second chance trawling around boozers in the rain. It's not even a good time for it with reduced table space, bookings etc.

Dating should be about doing nice things, even a simple coffee, walk or meal, to get to know the other person, but he is making it all about the drink, of which he seems pretty fond. I like a few drinks myself but he doesn't seem a very rounded individual who matches your interests.

He doesn’t need a second chance. Ditch him! Life is too short for this bollocks!

Of course you're not unreasonable.

I could have forgiven the first date IF he'd apologised and was now asking if he could take me out to dinner or for a walk along the seafront & chips on the pier (ie needn't be flash or expensive) but not a bloody pub crawl for a date & certainly not in a pandemic if pudding rain.

He's a twat, bin him off

Go out with a friend, but not the one who values you do little she tell you to give him another chance. Did some friends who see you are worth more than that.

Value yourself more too 💐

God no. He got drunk to the point of slurring etc on a first date, that's unacceptable behaviour, and now wants a pub crawl. I'd say he's got a problematic relationship with alcohol. It'd really disrespectful and a bit of an indication of how he spends his free time.

Any way, it's entirely your decision, not his or your friend's. Even if he'd been entirely sober on the date, if you didn't gel with him, or had any concerns, you don't have to go for a second! I think you need boundaries.

I think it's reasonable to debate a second date if you've met a perfectly nice person but you're not sure if there's attraction, or they were really shy, and maybe want to give them another chance. Your situation is something else altogether.

Did you post about him the other day saying he wouldn’t order a taxi and tried to come in yours to stay at your house on the floor? And you had to keep reminding him to order and taxi but he didn’t and then called you rude? Sounds very similar

Oh my god NO don’t go out with him again!

If you fancy a ‘nice night out’ just go on one on your own. Why wouldn’t you just go out to a nice restaurant on your own?