Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What is the etiquette in replying to jokes/videos sent to you

30 replies

Stressedout65 · 21/05/2021 08:08

I have a lovely friend who regularly sends me jokes & videos via whattsapp. I don't want to sound judgey or ungrateful of the contact after reading so many threads where people are upset at no contact with friends during lockdown. The thing is these jokes from social media & the Internet are so lame, as are the "funny" videos. A lot of them are racist or include too many references to bodily fluids & a lot of swearing. None of them are sexist or sexually creepy. I must get one or two a day. How do I respond to these?
1 ignore them & feel very rude
2 text a message back? There is not much left to say when it happens every day
3 send a laughing face or thumbs up to show appreciation. This will encourage him to keep sending more.
To be honest I just want it to stop, but don't want to hurt his feelings, and speak properly face to face now that we are allowed to

OP posts:
Friolero · 21/05/2021 08:24

I'd just ignore them, hopefully she'll get the message and stop. Or you could just ask her not to send so many - not sure how to word that politely though!

edenhills · 21/05/2021 08:25

I mostly ignore these type of messages

Friolero · 21/05/2021 08:25

Sorry just realised it's a male friend and I've said her / she!

LadyCatStark · 21/05/2021 08:26

We have a friend like that, I just ignore now unless one is actually funny.

Sarahlou63 · 21/05/2021 08:27

He's a good friend?

"Stop with the shite jokes, mate - I prefer quality over quantity!"

redcarbluecar · 21/05/2021 08:30

I tend to reply with the ‘lol’ face (if I remember!) but if the joke was racist I’d either not acknowledge it at all or say something to indicate that it’s not my type of humour.

Whinginadeville · 21/05/2021 08:32

That was sexist
That was racist
Dear God did you think that was funny, sorry I didn't
Best keep that to your male friends

And he's probably getting a kick out of you being uncomfortable so deliberately sending you unpleasant stuff. You'll know by his reaction to those answers.

ichundich · 21/05/2021 08:33

I ignore or send an eyeroll emoji back.

Warrickdaviesasplates · 21/05/2021 08:36

Eye roll emoji for the ones that plain aren't funny.

For any that are racist "that's racist" any sexist jokes "that's sexist" Etc etc

I wouldn't pretend to like them or find them funny as he will just keep sending them to you assuming you are also racist or find bodily functions funny or whatever.

Rmka · 21/05/2021 08:38

I always ignore anything that's not funny. Why encourage him?
Depending on the type of friendship I'd try to say something about the racist, sexist etc. content though.

NewMatress · 21/05/2021 08:39

If it's funny I send a laughing face, or if it's exceptionally good I might (very occasionally) find a meme to reply with.

If it references some shared memory, I'd remark on that.

If it's not funny, I ignore it.

If it's offensive I ignore one or two but if it becomes regular I'd tell them I'll have to block them if it continues (and did that to my oldest friend from school).

NewMatress · 21/05/2021 08:41

Is he sending them just to you? The only person I know who sends a lot of jokes send them to his entire friends list, so probably does't even notice who replies

Shareddriveagghh · 21/05/2021 08:43

I cant stand that kind of crap, it’s thoughtless at best and not real contact is it and he is sending offensive stuff.

How good a friend is he? One that you could go to with genuine problems or someone you just have a passing conversation with because you have to share space e.g a work colleague. If it’s the former have a genuine talk about not wanting that stuff plus ask why he is a racist. If he isn’t an actual friend then just delete him.

I am with Whinginadeville here in that he may be enjoying sending dodgy stuff to offend. It may seem trivial to some but let’s be honest it’s a power thing for some men even in small not always obvious ways.

An0n0n0n · 21/05/2021 08:43

Id stop watching them all together amd not engage.

But if you watch them and they are sexist/racist you should say something. Id frame it like they knew it was offensive and say something like "wow i cant believe how sexist that was! Not cool!"

But this person seems like someone keen to keep in touch with low effort so perhaps reach out to them more often with something like an inoffensive meme.

lazyarse123 · 21/05/2021 08:43

I have a work friend who used to send a lot of sexist jokes especially when he was shielding. I just ignored every one and he stopped.

RealisticSketch · 21/05/2021 08:45

1 isn't rude because no-one in their right mind thinks multiple revolting jokes a day is ok. The kind of jokes you're describing you would only send if you knew the other person has that kind of humour. Clearly you don't do he's over stepping and that makes ignoring them not rude.
So as a minimum ignore and there are some good push backs from pp so if you think you could do it, pick one and send... Then ignore.

CthulhuChristmas · 21/05/2021 08:46

Ignore the unfunny and prejudiced ones, send an emoji or message for ones you like. Friend might take the hint and start to understand your sense of humour!

I send friends funny pictures/memes (not daily, and not racist or sexist ones!) and while it's always nice to get a reply or reaction, I'm not offended if I don't. Maybe they didn't find it as funny as I did, or maybe they were busy or preoccupied when they opened it or just couldn't think of anything to say in response.

sbhydrogen · 21/05/2021 08:47

Lol.

Always seems to do the trick ;)

Branleuse · 21/05/2021 08:47

Block him on whatsaapp. Blame the technology

RhubarbCustardy · 21/05/2021 08:50

ignore.

Cactusesi · 21/05/2021 08:51

It is perfectly possible to ask a lovely person to stop doing something you don't like. The fact they are lovely means they are less likely to be offended.

There is other action apart than publicly shaming him - although this time next year we might all be publicly shaming people who didn't immediately and volubly publicly shame people who sent racist/sexist jokes in 2021

A quiet word in private should work - please don't send me any more jokes as I think some of them are offensive/ bit near the bone/ not funny/ racist/ sexist/ vulgar/pornographic.

If you cant be entirely honest, why not ask him to stop sending the jokes as who knows what the crazy thought police will ban/cancel soon and you don't want anything risky or risqué on your phone.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 21/05/2021 08:57

He isn't sending it as some secret ploy to make you uncomfortable. It's his type of humour.

My mum keeps forwarding super lame (for me) jokes from her friends. I ignore it unless i find it funny. Simple.

Everyone finds different things funny. Unless it's actually racists etc, there is no need to tell the other person their sense of humour is beneath you like basically suggested here.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 21/05/2021 08:58

You can also tell your friend to stop forwarding things to you and it does not have to be a confrontation, just a normal chat

wigjuice · 21/05/2021 09:01

Why would you want to stay friends with a rascist sexist vile excuse for a man? Tell him to fuck off and block him!

ToDoListAddict · 21/05/2021 09:03

I have a friend that does the same. Really weird supposedly funny videos.
I ignore them all.

She also made a comment about hating being ignored. I ignored that too 🤣