Ugh creepy entitled man on bus...

[Wishbub]

I'm quite annoyed at myself for not being more forceful this afternoon after a creepy man grabbed my son (3) by the arm and got up in his face 😭 We were on the bus and he was acting strangely on the journey, repeating what I said and trying to get my son's attention, so we were ignoring him. Just as we were about to get off, I was picking up our things, and I see this man had my sons arm and had his face right up to his and was taunting him. I immediately grabbed my son into a big hug and was trying to reassure him whilst the man moved away. I told my husband and he said I should have firmly told the man not to touch my child, and normally this would be my reaction, but I was just so shocked. I'm now put off going on the bus again, I feel like I'm risking further assault on my son. Plus, I know community rates are low, but I was paranoid that he could have COVID-19 and he only had a mask half over his face.

I guess I'm just wondering what I should have done, and if I'm being unreasonable to never take the bus now (which means a long walk).

Sounds awful! There's nothing wrong with what you did. Protecting and comforting your son was the priority. The man didn't need 'telling forcefully' - he knew he was wrong. Focusing on supporting your son was totally the right response.

I think most people's instinct would have been to give the bloke a major bollocking, but it probably wouldn't have achieved anything so it doesn't matter that you didn't. He obviously wasn't compos mentis for whatever reason, and you're just as likely to meet people like that anywhere in public as on the bus, so don't let it put you off.

You were able to protect and reassure your DS. Yelling at Dodgy Man wouldn’t have achieved anything more, potentially made situation worse.

Your first priority was to protect and reassure your son which you did. Absolutely spot on. Challenging the man may have escalated the situation with no back up necessarily forthcoming.
What a horrible experience. But try and put it behind you and not let it stop you using public transport.

Your instinct kicked in and you protected your son. That was the priority in the situation. Well done, I hope you are both not too shaken up.

Report to bus company and police. It will be on CCTV

That sounds awful. You definitely handled it in the best way with the least stress for your son. What was he shouting? Was your DS upset?

Don’t let it stop you taking the bus. Go on it tomorrow. You are surrounded by good people on the bus. Being outside and walking exposed and alone may not be so good. XxX

As above, report to the bus company and police. He might be known to the police. Sounds horrible. You went with your instinct at the time to protect your little boy and get away fast. You did fine

If you had started shouting at the man, it would have frightened your son and possibly make it a stronger memory for him. I can understand why you are annoyed with yourself but hopefully as time goes by you will be able to see, that how you did act will have the best longterm outcome for your son.

Aside from that, I would contact the bus company as per pp.

Totally agree you did the right thing.

I also think you did the right thing.
Worth reporting.
I shouted at someone once when their dog jumped up at my youngest and she was more upset by me than the dog!
Hope you're both ok.

I am a huge believer in trusting your instincts. In times of stress, an older part of your brain kicks in, and when the thinking brain comes back on line it tries to process a huge amount of information and we second guess what we did.

But at the time you were rapidly assessing risk, faster than you could think about it, and got your son from a potentially life threatening situation without escalating the threat. What you did was nothing short of phenomenal.

It’s easy for a male to say you should have confronted him, and that might have been an appropriate strategy if your dh had been in the situation. How males react to other males is different to how they react to females.

After an adrenaline burst, the body has to regulate itself again so what ifs and shoulda woulda thinking is entirely normal, as is a period of feeling very low and scared. Be kind to yourself. Despite what stupid action movies would tell us, we’re not automatons and these experiences do have an effect. Give yourself a bit of time to process what happened, and let your thoughts sort themselves out without taking too much heed of them.

Those were your maternal instincts kicking in and they were exactly right. You rock!

You did the right thing in protecting your son.
It's easy for your dh to say what you woulda, shoulda, coulda done better but in the moment you did what needed to be done.
It could have ended badly if you'd reacted differently.
You're both safe, that's all that matters.
My advice is to carry on getting the bus and sit near the driver, if in the unlikely event anything like this happens again shout out to the bus driver 💐

Report to the bus company as a minimum.

Definitely report it. If he did it to you, he's probably doing it to others too. Super creepy.