To keep dd off school (year 7) for one term?

[bluebellscorner]

Dd is due to start secondary school this year and we are considering homeschooling her until Christmas. We have two reasons for this: one is family related (terminal illness in a grandparent who lives abroad, we’d like to be there if we can and with covid traveling back and forth won’t be an option) and also because dd would like to apply to a vocational school for year 8, she could then use this time to prepare her application (very slim chance, it’s highly likely that she won’t get in)l but she really wants to try and we support her).

1. Any experience with temporary homeschooling? Any tips or suggestions on how to make it a success?

2. Will she be able to keep her place in her secondary school as she will return in January?

Thank you in advance!

No she won't be able to keep her place at secondary school. There is an internet school called interhigh you might want to consider.

I’m not an expert, but I think if she’s going to be off that long you’d be expected to deregister her (and so lose your place).

Unlikely to be allowed to keep the space.

I think missing the very first term of secondary could be pretty disrupting to be honest.

It is highly unlikely that she will keep her place. You would need to deregister her and then reapply for a place in Y8. By this time, she will find it harder to make friends and will have missed out on lots of learning. It seems a really odd plan.

I don't think 1 term will make a great difference on friendships and they make and break them quite a lot in y7.
For me, the biggest issue is missing out on all the settling in, learning how it works with possibly a 2 week timetable, loads of teachers, being organised with homework etc.
In our town children do swap between the 2 secondary schools in y7, but they can fit in late OK as they have already learned about how secondary schools work. Coming in from being abroad, watching a GP die and being home educated (possibly not very effectively if upset about GPs) wouldn't be a good start.

You would lose the space esp if there's a waiting list which their usually is. Also the first time is full of assesments to ensure your child is placed in the correct sets etc.

The second reason is just something you made up to try and justify going abroad for an extended period.

You can't have it all and your daughter will benefit more from going to school with her peers from the beginning. I suspect you know that.

If the relative is terminally ill why delay and disrupt your daughter? You could go now and return for September instead.

You won’t keep the place and I think missing the first term of secondary wokld be one of the hardest to get back in from because everyone else will be just settled and formed friendship groups and the likes

I'd suggest going now and coming back for September too. I'm not sure being home schooled by someone losing their parent is going to be a good idea for her if you can avoid it.

I agree bad time to go. Rather go now and miss end of Y6. Less learning missed and doesn't matter that you loose your school place.

Is she very confident? I changed school in Y8 - school work wasn't a problem, but fitting in existing friendship groups can be hard unless she generally makes friends easily. I wouldn't do it to my kids.

It’s not a great time to go, she would miss all the year 7 settling in and making friends stuff. Obviously I’m sure she would still make friends one term later and I know 11 year old friendships are not set in stone! But it would be harder for her.

And no you wouldn’t keep her school place, you would need to apply as an in year transfer once she was back in the UK. Unless her current school is undersubscribed you’re unlikely to get the place back, you would end up at whatever school is undersubscribed which tend to be less desirable schools and could be several miles away with an awkward journey.

I think if she really wants to try for the vocational school and you believe that this extra time will make the difference then why not try. Friendships are no way in stone that first term of secondary and there's a lot of movement of pupils between schools and sets, we found. But yes you will need to deregister.

The other experience of going abroad for an terminally ill relative may be hard though.

You’d loose the place. You would have to register as ‘educating at home’ and then re-apply for a school place when you were no longer educating at home. Likely won’t have a place due to your DC’s place being given to the next child on the waiting list.

With Covid being incredibly disruptive to children in schools with missing social interaction etc. to then not have a ‘normal’ start to the school year, I wouldn’t do this personally.

Firstly, I’m sorry you find yourselves in such a difficult situation.

What’s the vocational school? If something like dance or music, how do you plan she’ll get up to the required level if you’re abroad? If her main teacher or instructor isn’t working with her week in, week out, the improvement won’t be the same. Would you get her a teacher in the other country? How would that work with her settling in and possibly learning new techniques etc?

I teach one of the above and after over a year of online work, I can assure you, so much gets lost in a zoom lesson or class. She’d be up against children who have had specialist, continuous, in person training during her time abroad, which would put her at a disadvantage.

Maybe this doesn’t apply to your DD in which case - ignore my comment!

I think that's a bad idea too. It's not just the friendships it's finding your way around, understanding how everything works, expected standards are a little lax as they understand students take time.

Plus a lot of the first term is making sure everyone is up to a similar standard academically. There may be tests to set them.

Either go now, or have an extended half term in October if there are extenuating circumstances.

If you are abroad and looking after an ill grandparent, how is that going to help her application for the vocational school? Presuming this is something like a specialist music. drama or other similar school surely her chances would be improved by being at home with access to her usual classes, instruments etc?

It sounds a very good plan to me, my children are slightly older but I am SO glad we juggled things to spend Christmas 2019 in our home country, their grandma was quite ill and died a couple of months later.

Don't count on being able to keep her school place, but in your shoes I would at least talk to the secondary school now and explain about your ill relative and what you want to do in first term. If there are any options they can let you know. (Don't mention the vocational school possibility, if it happens then great but I'd leave it until you know either way. Unless a school reference is needed on the application (mine did for choirschool) - you might want to prepare that from the primary in advance!)

I really sympathise with your situation, but I do think this will be very difficult on DD.

I think you would be better off homeschooling her for year 7 and applying for a new place in year 8, although she may still struggle with regards to friendships.

Just another thing to think about, does the country you would be travelling to allow homeschooling? I know that you couldn’t homeschool in Greece a few years ago and think that may still be the case. If that’s the same for your destination a summer trip may work better (a lot of countries have a long summer break). Again in Greece there’s a 12 week break.

I’d be more worried about the vocational school and being able to audition, second audition, interview etc with being back and forth from abroad, and keeping on top of training etc. If it’s music, she’ll need regular tutoring, and if dance (white lodge ballet or somewhere ?) she will need to be at class for hours a week, doing exams and the like. How will that work?

Thank you everyone! So much to think about.

This would be to support my husband who really wants to spend an extended amount of time with his parents. As travel will most likely be very complicated for the foreseeable, he wouldn’t be able to go back and forth as much as he’d like so the thought was to relocate temporarily as a family. I agree it’s not ideal with regards to DD, far from it...

Having had one start high school last year. I really wouldnt advise missing the first term. It's all about settinling in, getting to know the school, balancing timetables, getting used to homeworks. It's a big jump from primary

I’m not so worried about friendships, I changed schools a few times myself and somehow it always worked out ok and I’m hoping it would be similar for DD.

Yet another small way that covid is having an impact, ordinarily my husband could have travelled back and forth so regularly we would hardly have missed him!

@Hankunamatata

Having had one start high school last year. I really wouldnt advise missing the first term. It's all about settinling in, getting to know the school, balancing timetables, getting used to homeworks. It's a big jump from primary

Good point. I’m sure it’s going to be a big change