AIBU to hate - i know my children best?

[castemary]

I hate the phrase, I know my children best.
I accept sometimes it is true, but lots of times it is not. Some parents say this phrase whenever anyone tries to say that their actions may not be the best for their child.
Examples can include pushing a new partner onto your children when the child obviously does not like them. Or refusing to allow a school recommended investigation for SEN. Or defending a child who has bullied or hit another child.
Most parents love their children deeply and it can lead easily to seeing children and situations involving them through rose tinted spectacles. Sometimes someone else can accurately see something about a child that their parent can not see.

In as much as it's just another way to dismiss advice and input from others, I don't think it's particularly heinous, but I can see the problem with a parent justifying the behaviour you describe for any reason.

YANBU, in those examples. But there are times when the parent knows something is wrong that someone else may not realise, I'm assuming you don't mean those times?

@Cadent yes I agree that there are times a parent can see that something is wrong when others do not see it.
I just think if anyone points out something that it is wise to consider if it might be true or not. For example, lots of very well behaved children have lied at some point to a parent when someone external has complained about something the child has done. All children are capable of lying or hitting another child, even if they only do it once in their whole childhood.

Tbh I think it totally depends. Lots of times a parent does know their child best, particularly more so than strangers on the internet who are inclined to offer advice usually based on their own experiences with their own children. Thinking here of your example re children meeting a new partner.

I do think with school issues though that can be an exception as children often act very differently in company of their peers than they do in front of their parents. I'm thinking of where school reports bad behaviour or bullying to parents and they refuse to take it on board because it's something their child would 'never do'.

In healthcare situations where a child is just not quite themselves then I think parents are absolutely right to act on their instincts.

If an outside person like a teacher has reason to speak to a parent about something like behaviour, then there’s every chance that teacher will know better than the parent - through their experience of children in general, of that particular child in school, of the situation as a whole.
In those cases it seems to be a parent defending their little darling as not possibly capable of doing the thing they’ve been accused of.
I’ve seen it more than once over things like lying and bullying, child couldn’t possibly do that, well yeah they absolutely can and do.

I’m with you on this op.