To think giving him a day off school isn't wrong?

[QuestionableMouse]

My oldest nephew is almost five. He's exhausted at the moment- he rarely gets a weekend at home because his Dad insists that he goes to see Granny Dad every weekend, sleeping over. He also has to get up really early for breakfast club.

Yesterday he cried and said he was shattered when my sister woke him up to get ready. He's a tough kiddo and rarely cries so it was really out of character for him. She had a day off work so kept him off school. He woke up after 11 and went for a nap on the afternoon too.

It caused a huge argument between my sister and her partner (DN's dad) because he felt DN should have been taken to school. It blew up into a massive thing and my sister and both DN'S ended up staying at my house last night.

Was she unreasonable to give him the day off? He went back full of beans this morning so it seems like he needed the downtime.

*exhausted not excited!

Child's father needs to start prioritising the needs of his young child over the wishes of his mother. No child should be that exhausted.

If the 5yr old is tired he needs to go to bed earlier simple really mine sleeps 12 hours every night and is on the go everyday, as a one off no issue but it can become an issue if more then that

Feel so sorry for the poor little mite!

Not getting enough sleep, dragged off to granny every weekend, and so exhausted he’s sobbing.

Mum does the right thing (at least in the short term) and gives him a day to recover - not even compulsory school age ffs - and his dad causes such a row that they have to escape the house.

The dad sounds horrible and abusive, and also unable to stand up to his mother (unless he agrees with these plans?). I feel like your sister might have a bigger problem than you think / have said, and might need to escape him for good.

YABU this is a lifestyle issue that needs to be resolved so he is not exhausted.

Getting up early for breakfast club and going to grannys would not alone cause exhaustion. He obviously is not getting enough sleep. So probably not going to bed early enough.

Not unreasonable as a one off, especially as he's 4, but this needs sorting out really. He shouldn't b doing so much at the weekends if he's too tired to go to school and taking a day off for this would be unreasonable if it has to happen often.

I think staying over at his Granny's house isn't doing him any good. I bet she's letting him stay up late.

She needs to leave. At least then he'd only have to go to granny's every other weekend and he'd get some family and downtime equally too.

Regardless of the rights and wrongs of childcare, the fact that your sister's partner was so aggressive with his opinion that she had to leave the house with the children for the night is really scary.

My DD started falling asleep a couple of times in reception, definitely went to sleep at a normal time but she was just so shattered by the school day. They’re so small and school is exhausting, the poor boy just sounds knackered and I think your sister did the right thing.

Lots of our Reception children are simply exhausted right now, so I'm not surprised DN is wiped out with no home down-time.
I have no problem giving a tired primary school child a day of rest.

His father, on the other hand, sounds like a prize.

Oh this thread has given me food for thought. I would lose it with my DH if he gave our son the day off because he's too tired (but by the looks of it I need to relax a little about school haha). I wouldn't have put up with the sleepovers every weekend at granny's if that was causing him to be overtired though.

I did the same for my DC last week a complete one off but was finally getting some sleep (has sleep problems)

Wow really MIC? Def check yourself there!

My MIL used to insist we went to hers twicw a a week so she could cook so I didn't have to. It was a nightmare and I can't stance her food anyway. As soon as eldest started school I knocked it on the head.

Maybe plan some extra curricular activities on the weekend?

@MIC2689 so would I, you don’t just get a day off school (and actually, as DH and I are both teachers it simply wouldn't be an option). But nor would my reception child be so tired that that was needed - my 4 year old was in bed and asleep by 6.20 tonight.

There is a question about why he has got so tired that it’s got to this point in the first place.

@SavingsQuestions

Wow really MIC? Def check yourself there!

Check myself? I voted not being unreasonable as if a child is asleep until 11am and then needing a nap in the afternoon then obviously they're too tired for school. But if the reason they're too tired is because they've been up all weekend every weekend then maybe that should be changed?

@PotteringAlong thank you! Don't get me wrong the closer he gets to half term/end of term the more tired and grumpier he gets when he finishes school (he's 6) but he just has an early night rather than not going to school. And I stand by the fact that I'd be really annoyed at DH if he had let him have the day off because he was tired. But then I can't picture it happening 🤷. Hope OP's sister gets it sorted though, regardless!

He's usually in bed by 7pm at the latest though it's usually about 6:30.

Granny Dad is furious with me because I've booked a weekend away for me and the kids. She's absolutely unreasonable and honestly it's pissing me off. I can't afford to take them in the school holidays and never get to do anything on a weekend with them because she HAS to have them. She doesn't want them for a few hours after school, just Fri-Sat night.

Five-year-olds need 10-12 hours of sleep a day. So 7 pm is fine if he is getting up at 7 am.

At 4 it’s not a legal requirement to go to school untill the summer after he turns 5. Such a
Non issue