AIBU - This is simple. Isn't it?

[TheNestedIf]

This is an analogy. I am not a plumber. This is not really about taps or water or plumbing.

I have a tap that is supplied by one and only one source of water.

This could be pipe A or pipe B. I need to find out which.

I cut off pipe A and the tap still works.

Therefore, the tap must be supplied by pipe B and cannot be supplied by pipe A.

The fact that "tap" and "pipe" both contain the letter "p" does not add any confusion to this simple logic problem does it?

YANBU - Yes. That is very straightforward logic.

YABU - Nope. No idea. You must be some sort of super-genius. Explain it to me over and over until the final star winks out and the universe dies.

I was going to say have you drawn it? Maybe they are more visual than aural? Which would help as they will not hear when you dig up the patio and then approach from behind with the lead piping

Also as a dev I understand your frustration - it’s like a driving instructor who doesn’t know the difference between the clutch and the brakes. Or a maths teacher who can’t do basic sums.

The real question is OP what are you going to do about this person? Make sure they don’t fuck up and blame you (ESPECIALLY because you’re a woman and can sometimes be seen as an easy target)

Did your colleague work on the Post Office's Horizon system?

My 12 year old can understand this why can't he

I think they can just about manage an "if". I'd be surprised if they could manage a nested one on their own.

The situation they keep asking me to re-explain really was a simple situation of us finding out where data is coming from by a process of elimination. There are only two sources.

What we were meant to be doing was looking at something far more complex, in a language neither of us has used previously. This person is a blagger who will get other people to do their thinking for/with them whenever they can. They're also someone who will keep trying to repeat the same successful tests or reiterates things that have gone right rather than tackle the hard things. It's difficult to know what is incapability and what is misdirection with them sometimes.

I suppose I'm just a bit tired and frustrated because it's more exhausting carrying them than doing the entire thing on my own.

As for watching my back I've made sure I've documented what I've done. My line manager is well aware of what this person is like and has my back. To be honest, I don't think this person would blame me for anything because that's not one of their faults and they don't have the level of understanding to do it effectively. I think this person going to be asked to work on something else but managed to get in one last "irritate" today.

Laughed at the "Post Office's Horizon" comment. No, they didn't work on that.

Sorry, didn't answer the "have you drawn it".

I haven't. Maybe that would have been worth a try, although I'm fairly sure I've tried that tactic on other things we've worked on.

IT whiteboard. wonders if you work for the same German Bank with the same bunch of incompetents poor DH does

I have dyslexic colleagues, it doesn't affect their ability to solve logical problems

Are you talking about sex? Is p a euphemism?

I thought this was going to be about a man and a vasectomy.....

What is your secret nickname for them that you don't say out loud?

Whether or not this person is dyslexic, I don't know. If they are and it's causing them processing problems, this is not the role for them. There are other related things they could do in the profession that they could do instead.

Sex and vasectomies? Yes, I can see how people got that from "pipes". If you have a dirty mind. :P

My secret nickname for them tends to be a long, drawn out groan.

Did your colleague work on the Post Office's Horizon system?

And is his name Boswell?

They might be a person who understands concepts through physical items - like not being able to understand the offside rule when it's quoted to him, but fine when he either watches a match or it's explained to him through the medium of assorted pencils, an eraser and two upturned coffee cups.

But then again, I'm the complete ignoramus who, when faced with duplicating an entire data upload and having to delete each additional record in order to have the one additional record added, decided 'why don't I just open up the raw file in Wordpad, paste it into Word, cut all the old code, leaving the stuff at the beginning and just the new record, paste it back into Wordpad, save it under the original filename and import that instead?' and made it work. Like somebody has a bag of 249 sweets, you want to give them one extra sweet and deciding that, although the conventionally accepted way of doing that is to hand them a second bag of 250 sweets and then carefully take back 249 sweets one by one from the person so they don't have 499 sweets, it's easier and quicker to take one sweet out of the second bag and hand it to them.

The techies looked at me very strangely when I told them that's what I'd done, mainly because, to quote myself 'I don't know shit about coding'.

Perhaps if you explained it using upturned coffee cups representing the possible data sources, a novelty penholder representing the data and a spare drive casing to represent a wall the data/cup has to move through to reach him? Move the casing in front of cup A to represent cutting off the flow; if the penholder can still pass through to reach him, that shows the data is coming from coffee cup B, but if it can't, that means the data has to be coming from cup A?

Or just give up and thank your lucky stars that he didn't decide to become a plumber or electrician.

What is your secret nickname for them that you don't say out loud?

Or do you find it almost impossible to discuss them without saying their actual name and then adding "we know about" ?!

That sounds like a workable workaround, if I've understood that correctly, NeverDropYourMoonCup. This colleague and I had to do something similar on the last thing we worked on. They didn't understand the sweet workaround either.

I'm beginning to get the impression a couple of you think you know the same person? I don't think we do, from the hints, but misery loves company, so it's comforting to know you have exasperating colleagues as well.

PICNIC and ID-ten-T problems have always been frustrating.

At least that's made me smile before bed.

Thanks people, for speaking to me. I needed to wind down after today.

But both pipes can work as its only one source of water not 1 pipe so both pipes can link to the source

But both pipes can work as its only one source of water not 1 pipe so both pipes can link to the source

That would also work especially well as an analogy if it were amalgamated broadband connections - what used to be known about a thousand years ago as 'fatter pipe'. Where you could have multiple high-speed connections connected to function as if they were one enormous one, but if you were just doing a basic, everyday online task, you'd never instantly know if all but one of the connections had completely failed.

Good point. If I can clarify...

There is only one source but the tap can definitely only have one connection. The tap is definitely receiving water. If pipe a is stopped, and water is still coming through it must be coming from pipe b, in this situation.

I have been trying to clarify with this colleague which should in theory be easier since they should know this themselves and since I'm not muddying the waters with analogies.

Obviously, we also tested cutting off pipe b and both pipes together. It did not help colleague understand.