To have not responded to this email?

[Eileen101]

I was going through my emails earlier today, deleting old ones, and came across an email from my ex from 2014 that I ignored at the time.

I was in an abusive relationship with him, until I was contemplating leaving and having a discussion with my sister about whether to leave him. He read my messages one day and told me that if I left him, he'd kill me. So I ran with nothing a few days later and went to my mums. This was in 2012.
We stayed apart and I divorced him circa 2013. I met my boyfriend, now husband, later in 2013.
Ex emailed me in 2014 basically apologising for everything he'd done, wishing me and my family members well, and saying that he hoped I'd forgive him. The email said that he wanted to apologise because he's not well and it might be the last chance he got. He'd moved back to his home country by this point (I think, the adverts at the side of the page were telling me I could transfer money to this country by Western Union, so assumed it had picked up metadata or cookies or however it worked from his IP address).
I ignored it at the time as it was all quite raw, I was happy with my boyfriend, new life basically.
However now that I have re seen that email from a few years ago, I'm wondering if I was unreasonable in not responding.
I assumed at the time that he was trying to guilt me in some way, but now I'm wondering whether he was actually very ill/dying as he indicated in the email.
Should I have responded at the time? Should I have told an ill, possibly dying man I forgave him? Tbh, I'm not sure if I even have. There's nothing I can do now of course, and there's no way I'd rock the boat of my happy family and very different life now, I just feel guilty that he may have gone to his grave waiting to hear from me.
Was I unreasonable?

[3scape]

At the very very best he wanted to apologise so you'd forgive him and he could move on with a clear concscience but abusers don't deserve clear consciences! Most likely it was just a poly to heap yet more grief on you or a fake UK exit so he could track you down. He is or was dangerous. You were totally right in giving nothing away.

[Cherrysoup]

You were right to ignore him. Why give him the satisfaction of patting him on the back for being abusive and a nasty human being?

[TenShortStories]

If he was really repentant and upset at how he'd treated you then I'm sure he'd also be aware that his apology might go unanswered. And if he wasn't really sorry then it's a good job you didn't reply. It's all fine.

[WildWestWanda]

Yanbu. Even if he really was dying you still don’t owe him your forgiveness and nor does he deserve

[Pinkyxx]

I had an abusive boy friend in my late teens at school, he was a 6th former. I broke up with him and left the school the next term. He returned to campus the next year and assaulted me in school and it was a very traumatic experience. He was banned from school premises and I cut myself off from any communication with him.

This was nearly 30 years ago. About 5 years ago I got a similar message from him on Facebook, full of regret, saying he was young and foolish etc didn't know what he was doing and wishing me well, hoped I'd forgiven him etc. I ignored it and blocked him.

I'd forgiven myself for blaming myself for what happened, but I will not forgive him for choosing to act the way he did. That's on him, and he needs to come to terms with what he did and the way he behaved. I don't owe him anything, certainly not going to tell him it's ok to make him feel better.

[VeganCheesePlease]

You don't owe him a bloody thing. I wouldn't be losing sleep.

[skirk64]

If he hasn't contacted you since, he's either died or has moved on himself. Don't worry about it.

[Lilymossflower]

Typical behavior from an abusive ex to try and guilt trip you years later with something like this. Give it no thought. Honestly.
Delete it and move on with your life.
And consider getting a therapist (if you havnt already) if seeing the email has brought stuff/feelings up for you.
Xxx

[Onesnowynight]

Leave it in the past where it’s meant to be

[babbaloushka]

Sounds like a rather typical manipulation tactic, to me. Obviously could be true, but given his history of abuse, it's not unlikely.

[Tk5787338]

I left an abusive ex 8 years ago and even if he emailed now I’d still think there was an underlying reason/ulterior motive. Also I would not be interested in accepting an apology or forgiveness.
Don’t give it any more headspace

[Eileen101]

Thank you everyone. I'm definitely going to delete the email and put it to the back of my mind.
Reading your replies has reminded me that I smelled a rat at the time as to whether he was actually remorseful or trying to get me back.
I'm definitely not going to social media stalk either. I'm going to leave the past in the past.

[MzHz]

100% this guy was lying about being ill

It’s a tactic my abusive ex tried

It’s a common trick

Delete block ‘go fuck your self ex’

Honestly, just leave him to stew