We have three kids, aged 7, 4, and a newborn. DH plays footy twice a week in the evenings after the kids have gone to bed - he usually puts them down and then shoots off at 7.45pm. However at the start of the season he was persuaded to play 11-a-side on Sundays which means he's gone from 10am until 1.15pm. Then comes back hungry and needing a shower so it's often 2pm before we can do anything as a family. I find those Sunday mornings really tough on my own with 3 kids and would love us to have family time altogether; his excuse is that footy on a Sunday is only a few hours and that he needs that time for his physical/mental health. Tbf, he very rarely goes out drinking with his mates, does a lot around the house including food shops, most of the cooking, and puts our two older kids to bed each night so he's not bad in that regard. It's just that he's 37 now and he said he'd have retired by now to spend time with the family at the weekend but if anything he seems more into it than ever because he said "he'll be retiring after next season and he'd regret not playing because it's time you can't get back when you're older when he's unable to play anymore."
Not sure if IABU. He told me to carve out my own time with friends/gym/yoga etc and he'd never stand in my way or stop me doing anything I want to do, but personally I would never decide to spend 3-4 hours away from the family on one of the only two days we get to spend together.