To think that one can give up regular home drinking to just social drinking

[headzupp]

The penny has dropped and I realise I'm going into dangerous territory with wine . I can drink over a bottle of t in one sitting and can have a short or two if the night goes on ... At home .
I was never a huge home drinker but lockdown enabled me to drink 4/5 nights per week . It's now become a habit and I want to break it .
Do you think though with that level of home drinking, it would be very hard to just keep my alcohol consumption to social occasions ?
I have had a very tough couple of years and am about to go into divorce process. My kids have additional needs so wine has always been an escape of sorts . It relaxes me and gives me a little buzz. I will miss it as it has helped me get through a lot of stuff , if that doesn't sound too awful.
I wonder if it has to be all or nothing? I'd dearly love to be able to enjoy and respect it on nights out or special occasions but it really has only occurred to me that it has become a habit now and mostly I don't even want it ! I just drink for drinks sake .

I don't see why you wouldn't be able to. Particularly if you're drinking due to habit as opposed to compulsion 😊. Compulsion/addiction is much harder to break than habit. I'd definitely suggest starting to think about what you'll replace it with though. If you're using it to manage stress/to relax then you're most likely to be successful if you have an alternative option to replace it.

Good luck with the change ☺️

Thanks. What is compulsion and the difference between that and addiction please?

I think it depends on the person. Some people have an addictive personality
It also depends on what the person is going through at the time.

I'm exactly the same op. I've completely stopped buying wine to drink at home, because if it's there I'll drink it, easily 1-1.5 bottles in an evening. For any reason like stressful day/worked hard that day/boredom/watching a good film.

I was doing this 3-4 times a week, feeling rough and fat.

I'm now not buying in wine and only drinking out, or the odd 1-2 weekend evenings a month if we're having people for dinner.

It's the drinking 1.5 bottles on my own on a Tuesday that needs to stop.

I'm hopeful that I can still have a drink when we go out.

I've done this, kind of. I was driving 4/5 nights a week and I've now limited myself to just 1 since January. It's def doable and I feel much better for it and enjoy it more when it's not a habit

I think it is possible, but I'd suggest you have a complete break for a good period to break the habit. Once you have done that you could then try just social drinking and see how it goes. Drinking does have a nasty habit of creeping up on you though, so you might need to keep an open mind on the idea of giving up entirely. One day I might even take my own advice!

Allen Carr’s the easy way to control Alcohol really helped me.

I’d been giving up and falling back into my old habits for a couple of years, but it seemed to finally break the cycle.

Now can enjoy a couple socially or at the weekend but don’t feel the urge to go overboard or to have a drink most nights. My consumption has lessened drastically.

I did a few years ago. Stopped buying any alcohol to keep in the house and it was fairly easy to break the habit.

Yes 10 years ago I was drinking a bottle of wine 4 nights a week. I cut that back to Friday and Saturday only. Then Fridays only, and for the last few months I’ve stopped drinking wine altogether as it just doesn’t agree with me.
For me the issue was specifically wine, I can drink gin or lager and stop at 1 or 2 drinks. Whereas with wine it was like the off switch’ had been removed.

I'm the same @Mellonsprite .. I wonder why wine ?

@headzupp For menthe difference would be...

Habit: "I drink because it's there, but I wouldn't miss it if it wasn't"
Addiction/Compulsion: "I drink because I need to, I would miss it if I didn't"

As a lot of people here have said, when it's habitual then one of the best ways to cut down is to not have any in. Much in the way that you wouldn't probably have a chocolate cake or biscuits in if you found you enjoyed eating them but were trying to eat healthily. The easiest way to avoid the temptation is to just not have it in.

I was drinking 4 nights a week. Mainly through pure boredom. I'm now limiting it to Friday and Saturday nights.

If I was to wait for social occasions only I'd drink probably 2 or 3 times a year. Which I know alot of people on MN think is fine. But I enjoy a drink and dont see why I should deprive myself. Keeping it to weekends only gives me something to look forward to. God knows I've very little to look forward to these days (sigh) bloody pandemic

@headzupp

I'm the same *@Mellonsprite* .. I wonder why wine ?

Honestly I don’t know why it’s just wine. For me it’s just like I get a taste for it. I tried to retrain my taste buds and tell myself I didn’t like wine any more and just stopped myself buying it. I may still have a glass when I go for a meal. What I can say is it’s lovely to not wake up with a thick head, or know you’ve binged on junk to try and soak it up before you go to bed.

I’m not tea-total by the way I have a couple of lagers or gin at home now instead. Whereas before it would be a full bottle of wine.

It's perfectly possible, I've done it. You soon find out whether you miss it or not - if you do, it's time to stop it completely. With me it was just habit, so I did a dry month, found it easy and then changed the habit.

I stopped drinking for a month, then it carried on and I’ve been booze free since January, except for one night out and I drank then. I didn’t enjoy it and have gone back to nothing again.

Alcohol is addictive and we sometimes label that addiction as something else - be it habit or whatever.

Try and break it by having a long dry period - I found it easier than saying “I’ll only drink socially” - I’d either find social excuses to drink or it would just creep back up.

I’m waiting for the magical weight loss to happen though 😂 not happened - replaced the booze with crisps and chocolate instead of an evening.

I empathise, OP. During the first lockdown I easily slid into the habit of drinking about as much as you describe most days of the week. The weather was nice, we didn't need to go anywhere, it was just easy to do.

When I decided I needed to change it, I moved to 'weekends only' which helped a lot. I couldn't change it to 'social' because well, we couldn't be social. TBH I still like a few drinks and don't really want to wait for social occasions (I admit that's probably still semi-lockdown related, but also just because I have a job which I do find stressful at times and I feel as if I've really earned that gin by Friday!)

I think you'll find a way to make it work. I do recommend it, though. Giving yourself more days off makes you appreciate the odd drink more I found when I was at it every day, I could have a bottle of wine and not even really feel tipsy!

Good luck OP

Also I try to keep my drinks to gin + sugar free something (tonic, lemonade, whatever) so it's not nearly the calorie bomb the wine was.