Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Perimenopause is a b’stard

38 replies

PeriMisabastard · 17/05/2021 11:32

NC but regular poster

Im 46 and my hormones are all over the place. I experience lots of perimenopause symptoms but I still have reasonably regular periods (ranging from 14 days to 4 months apart) so my GP surgery (I’ve spoke to them all) won’t entertain help for me as apparently I’m too young for HRT and menopause.

I watched the Davina programme and so much of it resonated with me and they said to fight for support but how do I do that when nobody believes it’s approaching menopause? All I’ve been offered are antidepressants but I’m not depressed or anxious, I’m perimenopausal. The antidepressants won’t help the night sweats, hot flashes, the aching joints, the forgetting simple words, the insomnia, the dry fanny or non existent libido and don’t even get me started on the constant peeing.

Aibu to think if this was a male problem that doctors wouldn’t think twice about treating it?

OP posts:
EBearhug · 17/05/2021 11:34

Why do they think 46 is too young? Some women have completely done by then.

I agree that if it happened to men, it would be an entirely different picture.

Original poster
PeriMisabastard · 17/05/2021 11:36

I wish I knew @EBearhug. I’m sure its just something they say to shut women up. As if perhaps it’s flattering

OP posts:
SuddenArborealStop · 17/05/2021 11:37

Honestly I would just lie about the frequency of your periods to get better help

traintraveller · 17/05/2021 11:37

I started HRT at 45 for all the symptoms mentioned above. I was offered antidepressants or HRT but had made it clear I wanted HRT.

Laughingstock91 · 17/05/2021 11:38

Having been repeatedly gaslit by my doctor over perimenopause OP, I hear you! I got offered anti depressants again recently despite me asking 4 times for HRT over a couple of years. I am now 48 and have the absolute rage over it all!

Kickthedoorbaby · 17/05/2021 12:12

I feel the same! Something needs to be done about these bloody gps withholding this treatment! Give me the bloody HRT. Seriously ridiculous

sunshineandskyscrapers · 17/05/2021 12:29

Familiarise yourself with the NICE guidelines: www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng23/chapter/recommendations
and refer to them whenever you speak to your GP. These suggest that over the age of 45 is 'normal' and perimenopause can be diagnosed based on vasomotor symptoms (night sweats etc.) and irregular periods. In women under 45 further testing might be needed to diagnose perimenopause.

The guidelines suggest offering HRT and not routinely prescribing anti-depressants.

Original poster
PeriMisabastard · 17/05/2021 12:57

Thanks @sunshineandskyscrapers I’m aware of the nice guidelines, unfortunately my GP surgery are less aware and say the guidelines refer to menopausal women not perimenopausal women. It’s their way of working around the issue I guess. I’m not in a position to change, only one surgery in town/catchment.

OP posts:
Spaceprincess · 17/05/2021 16:06

I have a period every month exactly as I always have had, I'm 48 and on hrt its been life changing.
My GP is a women's health specialist and wonderful. I'm very lucky.
I think yours is taking the piss I'm sorry.
Can you complain?
I was going to buy hrt privately if I didn't get it, I think Superdrug do online private prescriptions.

FuckyouCovid21 · 17/05/2021 16:08

@PeriMisabastard

NC but regular poster

Im 46 and my hormones are all over the place. I experience lots of perimenopause symptoms but I still have reasonably regular periods (ranging from 14 days to 4 months apart) so my GP surgery (I’ve spoke to them all) won’t entertain help for me as apparently I’m too young for HRT and menopause.

I watched the Davina programme and so much of it resonated with me and they said to fight for support but how do I do that when nobody believes it’s approaching menopause? All I’ve been offered are antidepressants but I’m not depressed or anxious, I’m perimenopausal. The antidepressants won’t help the night sweats, hot flashes, the aching joints, the forgetting simple words, the insomnia, the dry fanny or non existent libido and don’t even get me started on the constant peeing.

Aibu to think if this was a male problem that doctors wouldn’t think twice about treating it?

I hear you, I'm 47 and my doctor won't even entertain seeing me at the moment as it's not a priority - despite having heavy periods every 2 weeks for a week at a time
Melstarrynight · 17/05/2021 16:11

www.menopausedoctor.co.uk/

Try looking at this website. I'm still ploughing through it myself but I think there is a lot of info you might find useful.

SakuraEdenSwan1 · 17/05/2021 16:35

I completely understand, I am 46 and my mood swings have been horrendous, and I get really bad night sweats where I am cold and drenched. My GP was happy to start me on medication but I can tolerate it atm without any intervention.

Londontown12 · 17/05/2021 16:54

Big hugs 🤗
It’s the worst !
I started on HRT patches last October I’m 44 ! I know my body and I knew I was peri menopause!
Dr said about the pill I declined then offered me anti depressants and again I declined and asked for HRT and they prescryme them best thing I’ve done , my periods were not affected as in they were regular but they were getting very heavy and all the other crap like hot flushing anxiety pissing my pants ect ect u must insist xx

MorrisZapp · 17/05/2021 16:57

I'm reading a lot of stuff like this at the moment about doctors attitudes to menopause and I have to ask, aren't quite a lot of doctors women themselves?

And the male ones will be married to women?

For such a common issue I don't get the disconnect.

Buggerthebotox · 17/05/2021 16:58

Sorry to butt in but is excessive peeing a symptom of menopause? Confused. I've had this for yonks and never made the connection....

Bubblesgun · 17/05/2021 17:00

I have been peri menauposal since I m 39 because of my anti hormones (result of my breast cancer) so I dont know why they say 46!is too young.

You need a second opinion. Can you see another GP? Do you have private insurance? If so ask for a referral.

If you can afford it, you should find a gynecologist to see privately. I would if I could have HRT but I cant.

oreosoreosoreos · 17/05/2021 17:04

I’m 39 and have recently been prescribed HRT for similar symptoms. As I’m young my dr did blood tests - she was fantastic, and even emailed a consultant to get specialist advice, rather than me having to wait for months to see them in person.

It seems to be so variable, depends on your GP, which is absolutely ridiculous!

Chrestomanci3 · 17/05/2021 17:10

This is not reassuring - I'm 44, think I've been in peri for two years - very erratic periods (10-40 day cycles, bleeding for 4-14 days at a time), not being able to recall simple words, irritable, night sweats, dry eyes. I was hoping to get a GP appointment to discuss options, sounds like I shouldn't expect too much.

ghostyslovesheets · 17/05/2021 17:18

I'm 51 and on HRT and prior to starting I was still having regular periods - just a bit odd - heavy then light then practically none existent then a week early! No night sweats just tiredness, muggy headed etc

I just asked for it and refused other options such as anti depressants

It was the same with the pill which I took from 48 to try and regulate my periods - they refused to give it me at 49 (NICE guidelines are up to 50) so I dug my heels in

Fight - tell them you want HRT and quote the guidelines - god I get so cross that us women get treated like idiot children or like we just have to suck it up - there is treatment for this crap!

pabloescobarselasticband · 17/05/2021 17:20

Im 44 and have just been prescribed HRT. I have regular periods but they are heavy.

Letmedowneasy · 17/05/2021 17:21

Another one here who feels the same! I went to my doctor (female, late 40's) with a whole range of symptoms, irregular periods every 2 or 3 weeks, horrible cramps, the brain fog which I find particularly difficult to accept, wetting my pants when I bend or lift.....the list goes on.

Anyway I was prescribed anti depressants and told to buy some KY jelly. Stupidly I accepted that and took the anti depressants, which had helped on two occasions previously for boughts of depression. This time they had an awful effect on me, heart palpitations etc, I thought I was loosing my mind so I came off them. Then covid hit and I've been coping with things by myself but I feel resistant and scared to go back to my doctor again and that really, really shouldn't be the case.

Women are being let down, every day by doctors and I don't know why, why are we all being told that our symptoms don't matter? Why are anti depressants being used to try and placate up and make us go away?

FooFightersFan · 17/05/2021 17:24

I’ve just started a thread today under the ‘Menopause’ section in here.
I’ve been given some good advice already. And reading this thread makes me realise just how many of us are being fobbed off by our GPs. I’m currently on 3 different meds which mask my symptoms. I’m steeling myself for a conversation with my GP to ask for HRT...

UseOfWeapons · 17/05/2021 17:27

I was lucky with my peri and my menopause, but 3 friends and family members have been given Citalopram for the night sweats and sleep disturbances. Very low dose taken in the evening before bed knocked 90% of that on the head, so don’t cast it off, it might be worth a try.

MrsTulipTattsyrup · 17/05/2021 17:28

I’m so sorry, this is terrible, but I’m glad to say not universal. My surgery doesn’t bother hormone testing women over 45 with perimenopause symptoms, and just treats them, which is bloody marvellous. I can’t have HRT but they couldn’t be more supportive in all other ways.

Can you try to find another gp? I realise it’s unlikely but there are good ones out there. Solidarity, sister. We need to all keep pushing for better for women.

Spodge · 17/05/2021 17:38

@Buggerthebotox

Sorry to butt in but is excessive peeing a symptom of menopause? Confused. I've had this for yonks and never made the connection....
Yes, I think it can be. And urgency.