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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To alert social services to a vulnerable adult?

21 replies

tentosix · 16/05/2021 16:40

There is a man (40-50 difficult to say) who lives on our estate. He lived with his mother in a bungalow until she died around 15 years ago. He has some kind of mental issues or learning difficulty, but was always well turned out while his mother was alive. Over the past 15 years the bungalow is disintigrating and the poor man is becoming more and more unkempt and malnourished looking.

I don't know any of his neighbours, or if he gets any help, or has rejected it or anything. Don't even know his name, but its so sad to see how he has deteriorated over the years. He is the sort of person people find dead months afterwards. I think it was just him and his mum and no other relatives.

Shall i give SS a call or keep my nose out?

OP posts:

KittyKattyKate · 16/05/2021 16:42

It won’t hurt to call. I would!

HoldingTheDoor · 16/05/2021 16:43

Of course you contact them. Why on earth would you even consider leaving anyone, especially someone known to be vulnerable, when they are clearly malnourished and struggling?

lazee · 16/05/2021 16:43

Please call social services

brimfullofasha · 16/05/2021 16:44

Please do call them. If he is an adult with capacity they won't be able to do anything he doesn't want them to. But it could lead to him getting the help he needs.

Moondust001 · 16/05/2021 16:44

Yes call. They will either be able to do something or not, but they definitely won't ignore it. The bar for intervention is, unfortunately, quite high, even with his agreement. But at least you have done something and tried. Many people wouldn't.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 16/05/2021 16:46

Yup... Contact them.

They MAY know about him and he could be refusing services which is his right (assuming mental capacity to do so).

Equally he may be unknown to them... You know where he lives... Just call them...

Or alternately call the police, if you think he looks unkempt /malnourished... They can do a welfare check and progress it from there....

These poor folk are exactly the group of people county lines gangs cuckoo...

Terrysmyorange · 16/05/2021 16:52

Please call the safeguarding team in your area, they are part of social services

2bazookas · 16/05/2021 16:55

I'd just tell them (in writing) the details and ask them please to check out if he's getting the help and support he needs.

JocastaNu · 16/05/2021 17:02

Adult social services here. Yes, do call. It may be that they are already aware of him, or it may be that a safeguarding team needs to look at it further.

lynxca16 · 16/05/2021 17:09

Maybe the next time you see him just say Hello
and do it every time you see him.

DinosaurDiana · 16/05/2021 17:11

Yes, do,call.

countbackfromten · 16/05/2021 17:14

Please alert social services. It is horrifying that things have been getting worse for 15 years. I honestly can’t understand why you wouldn’t!!

PaperMonster · 16/05/2021 17:46

Yes, I would urge you to do so. I had to do this about a neighbour. SS were brilliant and also spoke with another concerned party, a member of the family and the GP. In the meantime neighbour ended up in hospital and the case was passed to the social workers there, who were equally brilliant. Sadly as neighbour has capacity and refused all help, they’re not getting the help they need and we have to look on helplessly.

Original poster

tentosix · 16/05/2021 21:53

Thanks. I will do it. At least I will have tried even if he doesn't want help.

OP posts:

bellropes · 16/05/2021 22:04

There was a man like you describe in a neighbouring village to us and his mum died suddenly. People on the FB village page were asking if anyone was looking out for his welfare and they had to contact social services as he had no one. They took food to him and checked on him until SS took over.

partyatthepalace · 16/05/2021 22:07

You should call them for sure, I would also notify your GP, and keep on till someone comes round. Poor chap.

PaulaTrilloe · 17/05/2021 01:10

You could contact your local fire station and they could do a fire safety check, they are good at putting people at ease and they can refer onto Social Services

Nosafeguardingadults · 17/05/2021 01:33

It's really nice of you to care. It depends where you live if social services do anything. I was referred by a social worker in a different area when I really needed help and I wanted it and wanted to engage but the new area didn't do anything. They were supposed to but there was nothing I could do to make them because of being too vulnerable.

Asherline · 17/05/2021 02:01

That's better than nothing I suppose. But you can't be praised for being 'caring' when you have watched them decline. Haven't tried to offer support. See if they have care, contact neighbours anyone who would know more or have anymore idea. They could be happy living their own life but because you think they need a shower it could be aweful for them.

I do agree about helping people who need help I just don't think reporting someone is I need something to be proud of

Pinkylemons · 17/05/2021 02:19

I’d give them a call. It breaks my heart x

Original poster

tentosix · 17/05/2021 22:37

@Asherline

I do agree about helping people who need help I just don't think reporting someone is I need something to be proud of

I haven't 'watched' him decline. He lives at the other end of the estate and I've seen him a handful of times over the years, but I'm busy with job, home and kids and noticed it on the periphery of my life. It was his latest appearance I found shocking and significantly worse.

OP posts:

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