To ask if you think you'll flourish or flounder in retirement

[The3rdMrsdeWinter]

Potentially 25+ years of setting your own agenda without the routine of work.

How do you think you (and your DH/DP if you have one) will cope?

Well I'm hoping I'll flourish, but am quite worried that I'll flounder.
I expect it will be like any life transition and will take some getting used to, after the structure of the week goes.

Both me and dp would flourish for sure, we've lots of hobbies and interests we'd love to devote time to. I could quite happily sit and drink tea and knit all day as it is so I'm practically already in training for my old lady years.

I've always found work to be an unwelcome intrusion and I'm very happy at being left to my hobbies and interests!

I'm not planning on retiring particularly young, maybe 67 so I'm not going to be flourishing. I'm not going to flounder either I'm just going to chill. I'm doing my flourishing now.

Well if I’m anything like my parents I will flounder. Retirement has destroyed their marriage. They have been happy forever, and I think it came as a massive shock to them both.

I can’t believe how much they grew to hate each other to be honest. I guess they didn’t plan it very well, and they were both defined quite heavily by their very successful careers.

They both wanted completely different things. My mother wanted to downsize and live life to the full with the extra cash, but my dad was happy enough to sink into old age walking dogs and slowly turning into the stereotypical grumpy old man you often hear about.

Sad really, but no going back for the pair of them I fear.

I wouldn't have any problem replacing work with hobbies, friends and new routines. As pp said, I can easily fill a day now and see work as an unwelcome intrusion on real life. But I am worried about the financial implications. I've done a lot of retirement planning but still feel nervous. There are a number of things that have to go just right for my retirement to be financially secure.

A lot of my friends dreamt of retirement but unfortunately didn't plan ahead for it financially or draw up any list of 3, 5, 10 year plans apart from "not working". I'm now semiretired and am a full time carer, part time student and vaccine volunteer. I hope to continue to use my work skillsets in a different context. Im unable to travel widely because of COVID and my caring responsibilities, so Im starting a list of long weekends now I've had my second jab and travel is opening up a little more.

I think DH and I will flourish. We very much work to live and have very full lives outside of work. We both can’t wait to retire.

Pretty sure I will flourish. Loved lockdown as I felt fitter, enough sleep and time to do my things between work at home . Now back in office full time, sat on bum between 830 and 5 with sore eyes and brain dead in evening. Though as I can't retire til 67, I doubt I will get 25 good years to flourish in and these next few years feel like the last I may be truly healthy and have some oomph for life.

You might live to 92+, I very much doubt I will! Even the healthiest in my family haven’t made it past mid 80s and that is just fine with me. I don’t want to see my 90s.

As it stands currently I only work around 3hrs per day (I’m early 50s) and still don’t seem to have enough time to do everything I want to do! So I’ll be fine. I am a master at “pottering”, in the garden, in the house, out and about. It keeps me busy and occupied. I have loads of hobbies. Financially I won’t be rolling in it but I’ll be ok. Not worried.

God, I can’t wait! If I live to retirement age, I have no doubt I will flourish. I’m a nicer person when I’m not working and I find it easy to fill my days.

I'm flourishing! Retired at 58, dh still working. As a bonus I am healthy and comfortable financially. So lots of travelling, nights away, generally having fun. No mortgage.

As I have zero pension I probably won't retire at 67. I've just bagged a good job with a fairly decent pension scheme (as decent as they can be nowadays) so my plan is to work part time. Therefore with a little bit off work I should flourish. I don't fancy fully retiring though. I enjoy working. Of course this is all health dependent. Life may have other plans for me.

I seriously doubt it will be 25+ years for most of us.

I will be very happy to retire and relax, although I do absolutely love my job.

A colleague recently retired and died within the year (not Covid) Like a PP, I recall my friend's parents retiring and they ended up hating each other. Her mother turned to gin and anti depressants and became agoraphobic. Her father just shrank into his chair and disappeared.

I plan a combination of lunching with friends, watching TV, and nice holidays

I was forced into early retirement due to an injury and whilst I would never wish the injury or myself or anyone else I’ve loved the freedom of not working.

A few things that help are: friends available through the week, interests and hobbies I’ve been able to continue, the budget to do those things, a supportive DH and our dog.

Flourish. We get on well - and even more so through lockdown without any external stress / travel for work etc - but also have separate interests, been together 25 years although not due to retire for about another 20 years!

We are hoping to retire early and have talked about how this will work and what we want to do together and individually.

I think because of the planning we will flourish.

@Chillychangchoo

Well if I’m anything like my parents I will flounder. Retirement has destroyed their marriage. They have been happy forever, and I think it came as a massive shock to them both.

I can’t believe how much they grew to hate each other to be honest. I guess they didn’t plan it very well, and they were both defined quite heavily by their very successful careers.

They both wanted completely different things. My mother wanted to downsize and live life to the full with the extra cash, but my dad was happy enough to sink into old age walking dogs and slowly turning into the stereotypical grumpy old man you often hear about.

Sad really, but no going back for the pair of them I fear.

I’m sure this is far more common than people think. With regards to your parents and their wants, I recall a saying on MN recently, “Men grow slippers, women grow wings.” which seems to sum them up and certainly does with several of my friends.

I’m semi-retired and my DH retired fully a few years ago and the first year I was floundering! Nothing prepares you to have a DH home 24/7 and NOT in a room wfh for hours, but just...there. What changed things was getting my own garden room for my work admin and hobbies, especially as we had teenage / now AC at home, including one with a disability . My DH also increased his hobbies and social contacts and we're very involved with the family

We are now flourishing but that first year - well, it made me understand why separations and divorces happen in this age group!

I’m sorry this has happened with your parents, chilly, it must be hard for you to see

Fine. We are very active and like exploring new places, travelling, walking etc. Doubt we will be at home much (covid permitting)

@Abracadabra12345

Thanks for your reply. Glad to hear you are both flourishing. It’s made me and my husband certain we need a plan.

I think I’ll flourish, good pension, hope to do lots of travelling then; health permitting.

Absolutely flounder. I'm self employed but health will stop me working I think. Adore my partner and there will be no problems there, but once all the kids leave home - next two years - I'll struggle. I'm dreading old age but feel I'm hurtling towards it. I'm struggling already to be honest .

What a very good question.
I'm already retired, earlier than I might have done because of health.
DH retired at 57 when DC were still pre-teen.
He is 72 now and I am 63. He is blissfully content with life and has been since the day he left work 15 years ago. He loves lockdown.
I am not so much. I am bored, not ready to be old and yet my body lets me down.
What helps
Good health, without this it's all so much harder. I was fit and well all my life then struck with several things from late 50s.
Space. We are lucky to have a big house and garden. We need never be in the same room.
Money. Makes it easier, allows for travel etc.
Interests and hobbies. DH could put 40 hours a week into his hobby.
Friends who are not work based friends. This is where I struggle. Friends who are available and nearby make such a difference.
Age of DC makes a difference. Ours were both still at home when I retired, then they bounced back and forth to uni. Now both adults in their own homes. It meant there wasn't just the two of us all of a sudden.

I'll flourish as long as I am relatively healthy. I have lots of interests that I'd love to pursue more but don't have time. If I'm still relatively healthy and mobile when I retire I will be able to do more of those things. My mum retired about 10 years ago and is now doing a lot of hobbies to fill her day. She volunteers in a charity shop a couple of days a week, meets friends to swim and have a coffee, still helps at Brownies, crochets for woolly hugs, etc. She's absolutely loving her retirement. My dad is also pretty active usually but some health issues then having to shield for such a long time has left him a lot less able to do all the things he was doing. He's not enjoying his retirement as much now, because he's just not well enough to enjoy it. Hopefully now he's fully vaccinated and doesn't need to shield any more, he'll be able to build up his health and fitness a bit.

My fear is that I will not be well enough to enjoy my retirement by the time I get there. I'll get my full pension at 67/68 (25 years to go) and I just don't think that I'll be able to continue teaching full time til then without compromising my health. I suspect I'll have to gradually reduce my hours when I get to my sixties. Which will be fine, and I'll happily partake of my hobbies and interests in days off, but it won't be the same as a full retirement while still being healthy enough to enjoy it.

Florist
I am counting down the years to retirement
I enjoy lots of hobbies