Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you ever make mistakes at work and worry about them for ages?

52 replies

Cafeaulait27 · 16/05/2021 12:07

Hi all, kind of just venting really and hoping other people here can help provide reassurance/say they sometimes feel the same...

I made a mistake a while ago at work (by not noticing an error and also by not telling colleagues to make sure this thing was correct). I’ve only just noticed it and realised the repercussions could cost the company money.

I have a very heavy workload at the moment and I know I sometimes have a tendency to rush when I’m stressed, and this thing just slipped through the net and now I’m worried it could end up being a bigger problem which will be complicated to solve and will be ‘all my fault’ because I missed it/forgot.

I noticed this error at the end of the day on Friday so nothing can be done until tomorrow, but I feel like such a failure. I know I just need to tell the people that need to know and take steps to resolve it, but I just worry about people thinking I was careless to miss this and worry about you people being annoyed with me.

I hate making mistakes, I worry a lot and tend to obsess about any and every mistake I’ve made at work for ages (I still sometimes think about mistakes I made years ago).

I do often think I’m in the wrong job as my attention to detail is sometimes lacking, although I do have a lot of strengths - good at prioritising, coming up with good ideas.

There’s no options for me to change job at the moment as I’m pregnant but I’m just dreading sorting this issue out and just had to share this in the hope that others will say they do this sometimes too!

Thanks everyone.

OP posts:
poblwc · 16/05/2021 21:48

Same here. I obsess over mistakes that I think I might have made, which I always turn out to have imagined. The times that I have made actual mistakes, have always been fixable and no one has made a big deal about them when I've owned up.

Like others have said, owning up is the only way to deal with it. I'm sure whatever it is will be nowhere near as bad as you are imagining it.

Saying that, just reading this thread has given me a touch of that cold, dread feeling and made my feet all tingly - so you have my sympathy! ThanksGinWine

BonnieDundee · 16/05/2021 22:28

I made a mistake in my very first job in the 1980s. I dreaded telling my boss but she was lovely and told me not to stress and suggested a way of putting it right. I had been convinced I was going to get sacked and wouldn't get another job. Ever Grin

I stil stress about work 35 years on Blush

BonnieDundee · 16/05/2021 22:29

Oh yes and it's Sunday night, here comes that feeling of dread again Sad

SatsumaFan · 16/05/2021 22:35

Love all the support on here Smile Am sure it will be fine when you go in and sort it with your boss. Some great comments from others above.

Bumbl · 16/05/2021 22:37

Yes me too. I always worry about mistakes at work and being 'found out'. I realise now that it's usually a symptom of a bigger episode of anxiety coming on (I'm also a very naturally anxious person - a bit of a worrier). I spent over an hour the other day not being able to send an email because I kept checking I had typed the correct addressee in, even though I could see it right in-front of me.

Reading other people's posts I've started to wonder if it is also related to OCD, as I do things like imagine a mistake I've made even if it hasn't happened yet, and have intrusive thoughts persuading me that things are terrible and bad things will happen etc. I wish I had answers to how to stop this but unfortunately I don't. I've started to seek help for anxiety so hopefully things will change soon.

MadMadMadamMim · 16/05/2021 22:43

I do. I'm human. And I work in a profession where you can really affect someone's life.

But the truth is, I'm doing my best. I'm good at my job, I'm giving my best professional opinion, but I'm not God.

I do worry about decisions I made that in retrospect might have been better to do something else. But we can't see into the future and you can only try stuff sometimes.

CarolandDarryl · 16/05/2021 22:43

I’m a huge catastrophiser, mainly with work stuff. I have a pretty responsible job and forever have the spectre of my regulator hanging over me, or so it feels anyway. If I think I have missed something or if I’ve had a bad outcome I will obsess over it until I get the opportunity to talk it through with someone I respect who can give me a shake. I feel ya. And the person above who said they fear the loss of being seen as a capable person, YES! That really resonates.

KERALA1 · 16/05/2021 22:47

I can totally relate!

weesleekitcowrantimrousbeastie · 16/05/2021 22:52

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the request of the user.

Wherediditgo · 16/05/2021 22:52

I’m terrible for this OP. I’m the exact same as you. I worry over and analyse every little thing I do and say and think about how I could have done it better.

In my experience, it’s best to come clean and be totally earnest when admitting what has happened - bonus points for explaining how you plan on mitigating in future to avoid the same mistake happening again. I feel people are more receptive that way.

You seem like an affable person.

AnyFucker · 16/05/2021 22:55

Yes

I worry mainly about stuff I have missed, rather than done (NHS). I go through phases of almost constant terror about getting found out as a fraud. Which I know objectively is stupid as after 30+ years I have not been struck off yet

I still get “the fear” where certain situations wake me at 3am then I realise in the morning my fears are exaggerated. I also know it is down to generalised anxiety and when I am more on an even keel these fears recede for a while

All it takes though is for a little of that self-doubt to creep back in and off I spiral again. It’s bloody exhausting actually.

Siameasy · 16/05/2021 23:00

I used to a lot and I do still a bit but I try to say “no ones died”.
Being pregnant can’t help so definitely cut yourself some slack. My brain seemed to work in mysterious ways when I was pregnant and now I’m peri menopausal I keep thinking God I’m really thick cos I’m suffering with brain fog at work and it’s mortifying

BananaSpanner · 16/05/2021 23:00

I once worried so much about a potential mistake I’d made that I got up at about 5.30am on a Saturday morning, drove the 8 miles to work and checked...I hadn’t made the mistake but I was able to then enjoy my weekend. Never told a soul that I’d made a 6am weekend visit to the office.

Quincie · 17/05/2021 04:33

Be grateful you aren't a doctor. A neighbour died of lung cancer - doc had prescribed months of antibiotics!? Then cancer was discovered. I don't know whether she told doc that she smoked but I couldn't be a doctor - all that responsibility.

Original poster
Cafeaulait27 · 17/05/2021 17:16

Well just to update everyone, after freaking out all weekend it actually went fine this morning. So relieved!

I just explained what’s happened and my ideas for a solution, everyone was fine about it. Looking forward to relaxing tonight!

Thanks for all your support and I hope this thread helps others too! X

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 17/05/2021 18:02

Have had many “lost weekends” worrying about stuff then realised after the event how silly I was being

I never learn though... I keep bloody doing it to myself Angry

MilduraS · 17/05/2021 18:15

Glad it's worked out. I stress out quite often about mistakes and often wake up in the night worrying. My DH helped put it in perspective by asking "how many people do you work with that are really crap at their jobs?" There are 1600 of us here and yes, quite a few have a reputation for being unreliable and a nightmare to work with. Not one of them has been fired. I'm actually good at my job, get great feedback and in the grand scheme of things those occasional mistakes I obsess over are a daily occurrence for some that they don't even give a second thought to.

Oblomov21 · 17/05/2021 18:37

People feel differently about mistakes.
It may happen more in some jobs than others. Done may be more major abdominal catastrophic than others.

I do accounts. The style of it means that I rarely make mistakes and if I do I can correct them before anyone notices because there are so many checking processes which are part of it. Eg if I made a mistake and double posted something in the bank, it would be very obvious because this would be caught when I did the bank reconciliation.

When I try and explain this to others they just don't get it. Either they are in a job where people make mistakes all the time and 'we are all human' which is of course true. But it doesn't apply to my particular job.

I've made 2 mistakes recently and this is very unusual for me. I've decided that I need to record more, write more notes and just take a little bit more care.

stillcrazyafterall · 17/05/2021 18:46

No, because although I have a responsible job I am human and if I cock up no one dies. Having said that I am very meticulous so rarely make mistakes. Just a fact. Don't sweat the small stuff.

theculture · 17/05/2021 18:52

Glad to hear all is well!

I fessed up to an unforeseen problem this week, it went better than expected but still am waking up stressed at 3am . . .

I am kind to others when they have made mistakes but can't be to myself Grin

cookinahurry · 17/05/2021 22:01

Glad it's sorted.

Good to hear that lots of us have been in the same boat.
Fear of making mistakes brings about unnecessary worry.
OP who say no one dies if mistakes are made (with the obvious exceptions of course).
What a waste of time worrying needlessly; I wish I could make myself stop.

Arena5 · 18/05/2021 06:49

@Hardbackwriter I had similar episodes in my twenties over mistakes in work. How do you avert your episodes of anxiety now when you notice them coming on?

Hardbackwriter · 18/05/2021 17:13

[quote Arena5]@Hardbackwriter I had similar episodes in my twenties over mistakes in work. How do you avert your episodes of anxiety now when you notice them coming on?[/quote]
Exercise (has to be something that really makes me sweat and gets my heart up), increasing my social contact (withdrawing into myself is one of the ways I know I'm a bit off-kilter and it always leads to me losing perspective) and going back to some of the CBT exercises I did in the counselling I had after the worst episode - I do one about writing down my core fear and then the evidence for and against it, I used to do it on a worksheet I was given but now I just jot it down or run it through in my head, I think you can Google for examples of CBT worksheets for anxiety. I don't think it's a miracle cure, though - I came quite close to needing antidepressants again a few years ago, but that was triggered by a specific life circumstance that changed (which is why I didn't take antidepressants again) so it may be that I just haven't had any episodes as bad and that's why I'm usually able to head it off at the pass. I also found I'm much less anxious in general since having children, which I know is very unusual, going the other way is more common. The physical exercise is really crucial, which is unfortunate because I hate it!

problembottom · 18/05/2021 19:13

This was me in my former job. I had a horrible boss who was not supportive in the slightest and my anxiety grew and grew and I’d obsess over making mistakes. Would wake up in the middle of the night sweating, with heart palpitations. DP said I became completely irrational.

After mat leave I moved department and have a lovely boss who totally has my back. My anxiety’s completely gone as if I make a mistake I have no worries about telling her. So grateful to my horrible boss for saying she didn’t do part time workers. Screw her!

Fishandhips · 18/05/2021 19:16

Glad you've sorted it OP. I used to be the same, now I just hold my hands up as soon as I notice so it doesn't spiral or become something I keep worrying about. Also having been a manager, would much rather someone came to me than buried their head in the sand. We are all human and do make mistakes.