AIBU?
Ex friend being sneaky
Clotsaway · 16/05/2021 11:10
DH has a history of friendship with a certain lady. They have know each other for almost 20 years and after DH and I were married, 10 years ago, I tried to be friends with her but it didn't work out.
She has tried to create problems between us by letting me know DH proposed to her a few times and she rejected him and just silly things such as letting my DH via her husband that I've been rude to her, gossiping about me to anyone who we knew ect ect.
Lucky for me DH saw through her after sometime. But I feel like she likes to keep an eye on my DH and I via social media. She's slipped a few empty emails to me here and there and I've ignored them. Last week she's text DH out of the blue saying he should text/call her. DH didn't know who it was untill I saw the number and pointed it out to him. He asked me to text her and see if everything was OK which I did and in a furious reply I was told that she doesnt have his number and her husband lost my DH number and he was probably texting from her phone.
Made no sence to me but I feel like DH could use a number change along with making his social media private. Shall I address this with DH or let it go hoping she stops at some point and pays more attention to her own DH than mine.
NanuNanuM · 16/05/2021 11:18
She sounds to have some 'issues' going on and in her head unfinished business with your husband. Do you think she's wanting to check if she has any control, impact on him when she contacts him? Manipulation crazy?
I like the fact it was you who asked her what she wanted - her blustering response of denial indicates its not what she wanted to happen.
A chat with your husband might be worth having to put together how to deal with contact from her. Have you mutual friends with her? See her socially?
Clotsaway · 16/05/2021 11:27
@Theunamedcat
DH has a strong dislike for her now.
I do feel she does want the attention from him in some way but she had to be careful in how she goes about it, potentially end up affecting her own marriage if her husband suspects she's hung up my DH.
She text me and denied she text him as she doesnt have my DH number. She blamed her husband saying he lost his contacts from his phone and he used her phone to text my DH.
SkedaddIe · 16/05/2021 11:43
She's probably feeling bored or low or both.
Your DH used to be a bit of a fanboy for her but thankfully he's grown out of it.
In this context it isn't controlling behaviour to encourage your DH to change his number and block her. He's progressed and moved on and this woman isn't his friend. She's trying to drag both of you back/down.
Yeah she's hung up on your dh but if he doesn't like her now just block her from his phone and social media.Clotsaway · 16/05/2021 12:23
Been waiting 10 years so far for her to latch onto someone else, like her own husband, but doesn't seem like she's moved on very far.
Looks I will be having a conversation tonight with DH about potentially blocking her on both our phones, email along with social media going private.
MiddleClassProblem · 16/05/2021 12:42
You can block with out socials being on private btw. It doesn’t stop her looking with another account but I’m not sure what damage she would be doing other than to herself unless either of you are the type to engage with strangers on the internet or susceptible to catfish.
I just think asking someone to go private might be the only contention you really face so just have a think if that is really needed if he doesn’t want to.
Clotsaway · 16/05/2021 13:19
@MiddleClassProblem
I just think asking someone to go private might be the only contention you really face so just have a think if that is really needed if he doesn’t want to.
DH used to be quite active on social media but recently not to much nor the time. He does post now and again but yes, it will be his choice if he would rather block or make it private.
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