Relocating / moving house advice please

[studybugs11]

Me and my partner are looking at getting our first house together later this year or early next. There are some new builds for shared ownership that look absolutely amazing - they’re in a small market town, in an area we’re both familiar with but have never lived in before. It’s about 40 miles away from my parents (where I live now) and 15 miles away from his family. Commutable within an hour and the other side of the county. Not necessarily a forever home, but could really see us being comfortable there for a few years and having new experiences.

The problem is that my sister is moving back to a house ten minutes away from my parents, after being 10 miles away for a couple of years. They’re all excited that they’re going to live near one another again and I feel as if me moving away might isolate me from them? Sister is getting married soon and will probably start a family and bring children up 2 miles from where we grew up ourselves. Selfishly, I don’t want her to have a better relationship with my parents and it feels as if they are very much hinting that would happen.

I really want to consider this as an opportunity and spread my wings, but feel so tied to my home town because of family reasons and not wanting to lose touch. Don’t know what to do.

Make sure to get cardboard boxes. Also it is a good idea to use a reputable company who actually knows about property. Ensure you have a copy of all the formal inspection reports. Jot down pros and cons of each house you see. Numbered lists are recommended. Get contact details as well, good luck to you.

@languagelover96 I don’t think that was the crux of the matter tbh

OP, I hear you, I live in a fairly large town in the Midlands, moved to the nearest big city in my late teens and stayed for some of my early twenties. But I ended up back near home as I missed being in the bosom of my family and having that ease of contact, popping round after work, mum or dad popping over to drop something off, etc. I have had many daydreams throughout my later twenties and early thirties about relocating, maybe London, maybe Brighton, maybe Glasgow. I never do it though, because I can’t truly face being so far from my family and having the at such a distance emotionally too. I actually applied and got an interview for a job on a cruise ship towards the end of 2016, and then my younger brother sadly passed away, and I knew then that I wouldn’t go for the interview and I wouldn’t ever be moving away from the town we all live in.

An 80 mile round trip is quite significant really, it’s not a “popping round for tea after work” sort of distance is it? It’s going to be deliberate planned trips on your weekends to be able to see them, which I think by default will make the relationship more formal and less casual and relaxed if you’re not going to be able to make ad hoc visits and the day to day life sharing that we do when our families are nearby. And naturally your sisters children are going to be much closer to them if they’re on the doorstep and you’re 40 miles away.

I would think very carefully about it, are there no suitable properties nearer to home?

@QueenOfPain thank you, that’s a really useful perspective for me! Must’ve been really difficult for you with all the obstacles that came up to come to a decision too.

I think the main difficulty really is that I don’t want to stay in one place all my life, but I also value family relationships. We’ll still be early 20s when we move and I feel the urge to explore other locations. It’s really tough trying to work it out.

[quote studybugs11]@QueenOfPain thank you, that’s a really useful perspective for me! Must’ve been really difficult for you with all the obstacles that came up to come to a decision too.

I think the main difficulty really is that I don’t want to stay in one place all my life, but I also value family relationships. We’ll still be early 20s when we move and I feel the urge to explore other locations. It’s really tough trying to work it out.[/quote]
I know it goes against the grain but I’d resist buying at the moment (especially if you can only afford shared ownership) and try living in different places by renting. What you want now in your early 20s might be very different in 3, 5 or 10 years’ time.

You are free to explore different places and ways of life at the moment. I had a ball living in London and two other cities in my 20s, as I shifted around in my career (and still maintained a really close relationship with my family!), and then gradually moved closer to family once I was settled and had my now DH on the scene. We’re minutes from my parents now and half an hour from the ILs, and that suits us brilliantly.

Spend some time finding out who you are and what you want. You are very young to be making ‘forever’ decisions. Closeness to family doesn’t have to depend on proximity.

I was going to say that renting now and trying a new place whilst early twenties would be a good idea!