To ask if you have older children....

[PointerDoi]

Do you still feel the same as when they were little?

I have very young DC and I love them so completely. But the thought of them being older makes me sad and I wonder if I'll miss it/feel differently when there are no more sticky hands grabbing my face for a kiss or needing a cuddle when hurt/scared etc...

@ArabellaRockerfella

I have 3 older children (15, 21, 23) and miss their younger years terribly. Looking back they were the best of times. Recently we have been plagued by anxiety, exam stress, relationship disasters, self harm and eating disorders. It really is so stressful and I feel overwhelmed by it all. Sorry to be so negative but I would love to be back with babies and toddlers again :(

You have my sympathy. We have been through the mill with DD as well.

I love as much as I always have, and always will, but I admit to finding the primary school years the easiest.

@EmeraldShamrock my mum is my best friend :) DS thinks that's sad but I would have too at that age.

They're now all in their 20s and continue to be utterly lovely and hilarious.

our children are a daughter 32 now..from my first marriage, a son 31 and a son 27 from my husbands first marriage. We have both had full custody with no involvement from my ex...and very little from his ex. We have been a family since the youngest was 8 and we are very much mum and dad to all of them (my husband actually adopted our daughter as courts took away my ex's rights to her).. I love them all even MORE now that they are grown. For our two oldest...I beam with pride when i see how fantastic parents they are, i still get hugs and kisses from all three. Our youngest is a bit more reserved but still love him so much. I believe love for our kids grows. Wouldn't change mine for the world

It’s hard to imagine them as adults when they are young but the change happens gradually, they grow in to these fun, funny, interesting people, I personally love the teenage years.
One day you realise you did it, they are prepared for independent life and they move out, you feel sad and proud at the same time and think well that’s it, then they phone a hundred times a week for advice/information/just to talk and you realise it doesn’t matter what age they are, they still need you.

I sometimes like my oldest less but I love her fiercely. It’s harder as they get older and her teen years were horrific but there is something so special about going for lunch with my now adult DD. She has a kind heart and a beautiful soul that makes me burst with love and pride. She also drives me to absolute despair because of her choices sometimes. I’m pretty sure my mum would describe me in the same way!

I don’t miss the early years at all. Mine are 30, 23, 15 and 14. I enjoy them a lot more now. The love doesn’t change.

Some lovely things to read on here. I have a mid-teen and still have that sense of wonder that I had when I first held him and through his early years. The bond has not changed, he's still affectionate & caring but less portable! It's been really exciting to witness him grow and gain independence even through difficult times. He makes me laugh so much. We're talking lots now about his next steps and it's honestly as thrilling as his first steps. We get along and get each other as people, it's lovely. I've thoroughly enjoyed the diminishing dependency, which I couldn't have imagined. Lovely to see him go off with friends whilst I do something interesting. It is hard to imagine, OP, but they don't stop blooming they just get bigger.

I’m sure I answered this thread a few days ago

I love my daughter fiercely, and she's almost 20.
They still need you, and I think you perhaps need more input as they don't necessarily tell you.
It's maybe harder, but for me better as I love having my Daughter as someone I can relate to, who can discuss current issues with me, who shares my sense of humour.
Sticky handed kids do nothing for me, I mean my own did, but I couldn't relate to it at all.

My eldest two are grown men in their mid twenties that have successful careers. I still think of them in my head when not here as the cheeky little primary school kids they were.

The love stays the same but the teenage years are natures way of weaning you of them a bit. Then there's the 18+ going out socialising and coming home late waking up half the house years. That help you to miss them still but be relieved when they move out

Yes, i have 2 sons 15 and 21. Love them to bits and they are great company also. We still have days out, not farmyard type things more grown up which are enjoyable as opposed to hard work, when they were younger. My eldest has moved out and i miss him dearly. He stays every 2nd weekend ( pre covid) and will resume once restrictions lifted. I still see them as "little" even though they tower over me now!

Older kids are awesome!

DD is 16 and she is just the best company...funny, bright and caring. We are very close, possibly because it's been just the two of since her dad and I separated 5 years ago (she sees him a couple of times a week but there's a certain amount of distance in their relationship, sadly).

I'm definitely mum first, but she is also one of my best mates.

Niece and nephew are 21 and 18 respectively,also fabulous young adults who have a great relationship with their parents.

It just evolves, and it's great, although I'd be lying if I said I didn't occasionally get nostalgic for afternoons cuddling on the sofa watching Peppa Pig .

It's not an odd question I wondered the same when mine where little. But honestly the love grows even stronger. My teen son is such an amazing , funny, intelligent and helpfull young man I often wonde how I produced someone so lovely.

Mine are in their 30's - I still love them so much, it has never changed. Yes I do sometimes think of how wonderful it was to be a mum to them when they were young, life was good and we had such fun. But times changed, and although they got older there was always a wonderful side to our relationship. Being a mother is my greatest achievement and that will remain, no matter how old they ( and I ) become.

I have had a few holidays with just DD when she was a teenager and they have been great. DH was either working abroad or didn't want to come. It is much easier when they are a teenager.

The only difficult part was her not wanting to get up in the morning for breakfast

I dont think it's the same. I love them just as much but they are so much their own people now that I can view them more dispassionately. I no longer uncritically adore everything they do but I can like them - or not - as individuals quite separate to myself. They are more complicated and interesting and unexpected and they dont need me in the same all-encompassing way. I can see now how they will be ok without me there at their elbows wheas when they were tiny we felt like a unit.

My eldest is 11 but youngest is 9 months so I do feel upset if I think too hard about him being that age. He’s just so big now, he’s almost my height and we have the same size feet. He’s a great kid though, the teacher told me he’s the most mature boy in the class which is lovely to hear. I like having conversations with him, he’s an interesting character and I’ve enjoyed watching him grow up.

@JackieTheFart

I’m sure I answered this thread a few days ago

So did I, it turned into a lovely thread.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4237971-what-s-it-like-having-older-children?pg=2

My dds are 16 and 19 now. I love them very much and each stage brings different challenges. Like someone above said; exam stress, relationship break down, depression etc.

I think it’s much easier when they’re younger because you know where they are, and who they’re with because you have put them there or organised childcare.

Enjoy their younger years!

My ds is 15 and still wants and gives cuddles.. Teenagers need you just as much as they grow and cuddles etc don't just stop at a certain age if you have a good relationship. Ds and are very close as he is with his dad and he still enjoys spending time with family - alongside seeing a lot of his friends! The baby and toddler years are lovely but the care and relationship you develop now will make your dc the teenager they become iyswim. We are very proud of our boy and love him to bits.He's kind, thoughtful, funny, 100pc can trust him and love spending time with him.

It's my eldest's 22nd birthday today. My youngest is 20, 21 in a few months.

How much I love them has not decreased. It has changed though. When they were babies I felt hugely protective and loved them and thought they were gorgeous.
Over the years as their personalities developed I love the person. Their characters are so lovely. You love a baby because they're your baby. You love your child both because they're your child and because of who they are as an individual.
Mine still appreciate a timely hug and come to me to talk about things that worry them.

Mine are 20, 18, 14 and 12. It’s different - not better, not worse, just different. I love them all to bits and actually like them most of the time too.

There are things I miss about the baby/toddler stages and I have occasional melancholy moments when I realise how quickly time passes but I wouldn’t want to go back to that stage now.

Mine are adults now and I feel the best is yet to come as I sit back and watch them become amazing people completely separate to me.
I still get random “love you” as they go out the door and now matter how old they get they still my everything.

I have loved every stage.
Mine are early/mid 20snow and still affectionate and funny. You love and worry about them just as much but the downside is you have less/no control over their lives. At least when they're small you know that they're safely tucked up in bed at night.
That said, mine are very good at letting me know where they are and that they've arrived safely after driving somewhere etc
They are great company - good cooks, great G&T mixers and are brilliant at birthday treats. I adore them both.