The biggest conspiracy perpetrated by men

[halloumihalloumi]

Couldn't think what to name the thread.

Lots of threads on here talk about the split in household activities between men and women and although there are a few exceptions DIY seems to fall to the man and it is described in equivalence to housework or renewing the car insurance or doing the cooking.

Let me tell you IT IS NOT!

All this time men have been doing their share, doing the DIY - HAVING FUN!

My husband is away at the moment and i have had to take on some tasks that would otherwise have been done by him. (As an aside, I have always enjoyed flat packed furniture and just assumed it was specific to that) but it is not! I just completed some reasonably tricky bits of DIY and the sense of accomplishment was amazing. I had a real buzz from my achievements - it was enjoyable!!!!!
I do not feel this way about housework!

Massive make Conspiracy!

Disclaimer, my husband does fair share of housework also.

Next time the men of the house try to compare housework with DIY - it does not compare! No one ever gets a buzz from doing the vacuuming!

Unless your house is a ‘doer-upper’, how much DIY realistically needs to be done? The odd bit of flat pack furniture every now and again, maybe a shelf putting up or something equally small being fixed. I don’t think a man can use ‘I do the DIY’ as an excuse not to do any housework.

@Mayorquimby2

Bollox, diy is a fucking chore as is gardening.

My wife finds cleaning relaxing, which is definitely cheating because then expecting me to do other chores is a scam.

She should do half the other chores too because the cleaning is essentially her hobby.

Biggest scam from on here that I've never seen in real life : women claiming sorting out insurance or even more laughably renewing passports as one of their household responsibilities 😂😂😂

Maybe her cleaning the house is the new “not tonight I’m washing my hair”

Ha ha my ex was always keen for us to get a doer-upper. Now I do like DIY but I also have a job and kids and it would all have fallen to me to do.

@Thatisnotwhatisaid

Unless your house is a ‘doer-upper’, how much DIY realistically needs to be done? The odd bit of flat pack furniture every now and again, maybe a shelf putting up or something equally small being fixed. I don’t think a man can use ‘I do the DIY’ as an excuse not to do any housework.

There's always something to do in a house though, unless it's a new build. It could be repairs, maintenance, decorating, other changes, gutter clearing, etc., etc.

Dh is currently in the garage making raised bed planters for the garden and I’m in the kitchen making a birthday cake. We could swap, we are each capable adults, but he’s better at carpentry and I’m better at baking so we have a more favourable end result. But agree with the op, some household tasks have a much more pleasurable feeling of accomplishment attached than others.

Omg. I hate a flat pack. I have always done all the “blue” jobs and all the “pink” jobs in the house. Except flat packs. If I buy something from ikea I end up paying a service to put it together which often costs as much as the item in the first place! Different brain connections I suppose. (Not male/female just different)

@Butterflyfox

Omg. I hate a flat pack. I have always done all the “blue” jobs and all the “pink” jobs in the house. Except flat packs. If I buy something from ikea I end up paying a service to put it together which often costs as much as the item in the first place! Different brain connections I suppose. (Not male/female just different)

Trying to get the sliding doors onto an ikea wardrobe is genuinely hell on earth.

Oh no I love flat packs. It’s not fun in a hurry or with people bothering you, but on your own with a coffee, radio 4 and a big IKEA flat pack to build - bliss! It’s like Lego for me.

@MrsBunHat I’ve done all that with 3 kids in tow, still a hundred times easier than putting up a curtain pole, tantrums in the middle of the post office and all But perhaps both men and women all differentiate in what they find easy and what they don’t.

@Mayorquimby2

'Biggest scam from on here that I've never seen in real life : womBiggest scam from on here that I've never seen in real life : women claiming sorting out insurance or even more laughably renewing passports as one of their household responsibilities'en claiming sorting out insurance or even more laughably renewing passports as one of their household responsibilities'

Ahh yes the mental load.

This week I have:

Put in tree protection order request
Phone tree cutters to arrange time for a quote
Met with tree cutter for quote
Filled in children's school forms for starting school
Returned them to school
Updated homework app
Completed all homework and reading with kids
Library visit and renewing books for kids
Booked car into garage to be fixed and taken to appointment.
Attempted to fix and order part for broken appliance
Sent out child's birthday invites
Bought presents/cards for upcoming birthday parties
Ordered and put away online groceries
Booked children's haircuts
Sorted children's swimming lessons

Little jobs that add up. Some of these jobs i wont do again for years but there seem to be different jobs like that every week. One application does not take long, but when you are responsible for the life admin of 4 people, alongside working and housework it's relentless.

I don't know any man irl that takes on the majority of the mental load

Yes, IMO DIY is far, far less time consuming and more satisfying than domestic work, and much easier than parenting.

Going well beyond DIY into ‘renovation’, I know fathers who have opted out of several YEARS of parenting and domestic work to work on their property, or a buy to let (in addition to full time work). Which they (largely) enjoy and get complimented for by others. Presumably this was agreed with their partners and has some benefits (eg a nicer home or area for their budget), but the deal for the mothers and DC doesn’t seem great.

I know no mothers who work FT and do anything additional requiring anywhere near that much time.

One of my best ever days in my 20s was bunking off work - was in an awful job - and spending the day building ikea flat packs

@Mayorquimby2

Bollox, diy is a fucking chore as is gardening.

My wife finds cleaning relaxing, which is definitely cheating because then expecting me to do other chores is a scam.

She should do half the other chores too because the cleaning is essentially her hobby.

Biggest scam from on here that I've never seen in real life : women claiming sorting out insurance or even more laughably renewing passports as one of their household responsibilities 😂😂😂

I guess you're happy to sort out all the family's car/home insurances, keep on top of their passport renewals, book doctor/dentist/haircuts as needed, organise kids' swim lessons, do the paperwork for school, pay council tax, sort out a remortgage for the house etc while your partner puts their feet up in front of the TV?

Good for you. To me, it's one of the household chores that we share.

All this thread says to me is that the patriarchy have somehow cleverly infiltrated feminism, grabbed it, stomped on it a bit, and twisted it so that it benefits men and oppresses women, and women believe it.

@Sparklfairy

All this thread says to me is that the patriarchy have somehow cleverly infiltrated feminism, grabbed it, stomped on it a bit, and twisted it so that it benefits men and oppresses women, and women believe it.

Yes.

@Mayorquimby2

Bollox, diy is a fucking chore as is gardening.

My wife finds cleaning relaxing, which is definitely cheating because then expecting me to do other chores is a scam.

She should do half the other chores too because the cleaning is essentially her hobby.

Biggest scam from on here that I've never seen in real life : women claiming sorting out insurance or even more laughably renewing passports as one of their household responsibilities 😂😂😂

You've never renewed a passport, especially for a child, have you? Getting photos that fit the strict rules on size and facial expression, filing the form in VERY carefully, finding a friend who fits the professional requirements to verify and sign in person, sending it all off securely, chasing the friend to reply to the message from the Passport Office confirming. At least half a day's work. Good thing you only have to do it once every 5 years for a child and once every ten years for an adult.

I fit the professional requirements to verify photos for passports and do it a lot for friends. I don't mind, but even that small part of it is a hassle.

@MrsBunHat

Oh no I love flat packs. It’s not fun in a hurry or with people bothering you, but on your own with a coffee, radio 4 and a big IKEA flat pack to build - bliss! It’s like Lego for me.

Same here!

Off-topic but I recently renewed my passport and sorted baby DD's and it was so easy. Did it all online, right down to uploading photos from my phone. Took five mins.

Fair play, gov.uk