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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not have a clue re pass the parcel etiquette

47 replies

Toomuchtooyoung01 · 14/05/2021 20:58

Making up a pass the parcel for DD to take to nursery for her birthday (its a "thing" at her nursery) and realised I dont have a clue about the etiquette - when I was a kid I'm sure there were only ever about 8 layers and they went to whoever the music stopped on, but now I have a suspicion its preferred that everyone playing has a turn unwrapping and getting a little treat? But then won't the game take about 900 years by the time a group of 30 preschoolers have unwrapped a parcel each? Is it better to just have the standard 8-10 layers and then give the remainder of the mini Smarties etc to the nursery staff to give out to whoever didnt get to do any unwrapping?!
And another thing, isnit frowned upon to ensure the birthday child gets the good prize on the last parcel?!
Thanks!

OP posts:
OhTheIronyOfItAll · 14/05/2021 21:40

@Love51

If it is a big group I do two parcels. The main present is from the works for £2. I wanted to put forfeits not sweets but was advised against it, so I put both. Forfeits were really easy questions or gentle challenges. Tell a joke, sing a song, tell us about an animal you like, pat your head and rub your tummy.
I still cringe at the party I went to when my unwrap revealed a forfeit to do an impression of shakin Stevens (showing my age!). Forfeits are torturous for shy kids Sad
BackforGood · 14/05/2021 21:40

No idea what the etiquette is at your dc's Nursery - if they have asked you to send one in (which sounds very odd) then you'd have to ask them for their instructions.

However, when we did them occasionally at school for the Christmas party at school, we'd either put them into 3 groups of 10 with a parcel each or have 3 parcels going round the circle.

No way will you keep 30 pre-schoolers sitting there whilst 30 layers are taken off, and of course you'd never keep track of who had had a go and who hadn't Grin

Awalkintime · 14/05/2021 21:40

Kids need to learn that they can't win every time so 8 layers is fine.

The birthday child doesn't get to win the prize and if they do, they pass it on to the next child as the birthday child already has enough gifts. That is our rule.

Redwinestillfine · 14/05/2021 21:41

Sweets in each layer and grand prize as last layer. If it's a class of 30 do two parcels and get them going in opposite directions. Easy peasy.

Allthereindeersaregirls · 14/05/2021 21:42

For bigger parties I've always done 2 parcels, gets it over with faster.

I'm not a fan of the birthday child getting the gift but for others, that's the tradition.

I was recently at a party and asked to run the ptp when I arrived and the party holder had organised it so the party girl got the prize, but I hadn't realised! That was a little awks. Thankfully there were only 5 kids!

mamaweebeastie · 14/05/2021 21:48

DD is Harry Potter daft so did 'pass the golden snitch' gold ball with card wings. Music stoped & they got a small sweet & the winner got a 'big' sweet. All the kids loved it & sooo much easier.

user1914586325695 · 14/05/2021 21:50

It's boring if there's a prize in every single layer. The occasional random sweet in a layer makes it fun and exciting to see what's there and what the next layer looks like.

Otherwise it's just kids sitting in a circle taking it in turns to watch each other unwrap a sweet. That's not a game that's a chore.

If you want everyone to have a treat just hand them out.

Purpleweeks · 14/05/2021 21:52

If you are doing it because it is a thing in your nursery, it would be best to ask the nursery staff what their norm is as the next closest nursery probably does it entirely differently.

GoingQuietlyInsane · 14/05/2021 21:59

@pinksnowball

Eesh what a faux pas - you let the winner give their prize to the birthday child? I'm cringing for you

It was all arranged without any adults being involved! Such a sweet child.

You’re really not getting it Shock
Leeds2 · 14/05/2021 22:03

I would ask the nursery what the norm is in that nursery!

JocastaElastic · 14/05/2021 22:52

@Coursework

I saw a better version of pass the parcel to avoid all the hassle of wrapping. You pass a cuddly toy round and whoever is holding it when the music stops is out. We had a soft toy shaped like a poo emoji so used that and called it pass the poo! If they were out they got a treat. Last one in got a proper prize. Makes the game faster as no one holds onto the parcel.
This sounds like a splendid variation.
Cattitudes · 14/05/2021 23:03

Yes ask the nursery. For that number I would do two parcels and if you wanted to put something other than sweets in (or as well as) you could some cheap medals so that each child wins a medal (or sticker) then it is really easy to see who hasn't got one yet.

Pinkylemons · 14/05/2021 23:26

There’s a post on Facebook with 440 replies on this exact subject. Lots of differing views!

Cavagirl · 14/05/2021 23:30

Opal fruits in each layer!!

Allthereindeersaregirls · 14/05/2021 23:32

Coursework

I saw a better version of pass the parcel to avoid all the hassle of wrapping. You pass a cuddly toy round and whoever is holding it when the music stops is out. We had a soft toy shaped like a poo emoji so used that and called it pass the poo! If they were out they got a treat. Last one in got a proper prize. Makes the game faster as no one holds onto the parcel.

That was called "hot potato" when I was a kid.

mumwon · 14/05/2021 23:39

@Smartiepants79 lets think - chaos -children's party -um, isn't that an precise description of children's party? When at the end you collapse in chair with strong tea/coffee/gin/scotch/brandy & swear never again with the sound of screaming children ringing in your ears & the house looking like the aftermath of a battle site & the next year/other child's birthday your memory has faded ... Grin

RaraRachael · 14/05/2021 23:39

@Coursework

I saw a better version of pass the parcel to avoid all the hassle of wrapping. You pass a cuddly toy round and whoever is holding it when the music stops is out. We had a soft toy shaped like a poo emoji so used that and called it pass the poo! If they were out they got a treat. Last one in got a proper prize. Makes the game faster as no one holds onto the parcel.
We've always played this way but with a parcel (Scotland). The child who has the parcel when the music stops is out. Saves all the wrapping carry on. I assumed pass the parcel was the same everywhere but when we lived in England people looked at me like I had 3 heads for playing it this way Grin
mumwon · 14/05/2021 23:42

I preferred sleeping lions where they have to lie down & the winner is the one who doesn't move -the trick is to not notice if they move ...

GroovyPeanut · 14/05/2021 23:46

I used to dread this... So many allergies and things kids couldn't have.

Original poster
Toomuchtooyoung01 · 15/05/2021 11:52

Thanks for your replies! Have been to Asda this morning and picked up a couple of those Swizzles multipacks, will hide some in the layers and let the teachers give the rest out?!

OP posts:
PerspicaciousGreen · 15/05/2021 12:43

@RachelsHoliday21

I would put 30 mini bags of sweets in the middle, to be shared out at the end. Are they allowed bring sweets?

Even better, 2 pass the parcels, so 15 kids in a group. Would take a while to get around 30 kids!

Putting enough sweets for everyone in as the grand prize is a FANTASTIC idea, and I will change my pass the parcel practice henceforth and forever more. Looks properly grand as they all spill out, but ensures everyone gets something. Just brilliant!
AppleKatie · 15/05/2021 13:01

It’s only a great idea if you warn the kids in advance otherwise you end up with bewildered kids as they unwrap and find nothing and then an epic tantrum when you tell little Freddie he doesn’t get to keep the whole prize!

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