How do you deal with teenage know it all's

[conjunctionhedge]

Just that really.
3 teenage daughters, 12,14 and 15. they're lovely mostly but by GOD this evening they think they know it all about everything and tonight I'm finding it hard to bite my tongue.
Tell me how you all cope
( without a lecture about free thinking and all that, thanks. Obvs I'm encouraging that)

Agree with them. Not yes everything you say is right, way.

Agree by saying things like;
I can see why you feel/think/see it, that way.
You have a valid point.
Yep, that part of what you said is right.
Yes, that's one way to look at it.

You're saying they have a voice, validating that their opinion counts And normalising their feelings. It works try it, but don't say it in a patronising say it normally. Roll eyes internally.

Do this as well when they moan.
I look shit in this dress.
I hate doing homework.
I'm so bored/ tired/ passed off.

Reply by acknowledging instead of trying to fix.

I know how you feel, sometimes I feel horrid in whatever I put on.

Oh gosh I can remember hating the slog of homework. It's awful.

You're validating their feelings and normalising them that's all they want.

If you fix eg. No you don't, you look lovely in the dress. Will antagonise and they get cross which ends in a row.

Try the tips . It works or smooths the edges.

mine are 12,16 and 18 - it's exhausting!

Last night I had a few drinks - a rare occasion - and was watching youtube videos at low volume at about 11pm - I was soundly told off for being noisy - waking her up when I go to bed and told to turn the music off - I laughed so hard I almost weed

You can't validate teenagers and have interesting discussions all the time, often they are just looking for an argument (atleast not if you want to keep your sanity).

Headphones, wine, hmmm, but most of all change subject when they are looking for an argument, the crazier the better. Sometimes teen parents just need that little space.

And tomorrow you can engage pedagogically again .

'At your age I knew everything too. Then when I grew up, I realised I didn't.'

I have one of those. I tolerate it for a bit then lose my shit 🤷🏼‍♀️ Not the best course of action but it shuts him up. My teenage daughter is nothing like this thank goodness!

I told my teen today (after encountering a cocky teen that wasn’t mine) that the problem with her generation was that they think the world revolves around them and their huge sense of entitlement, and it doesn’t. She mmm hmm’d me as if she was humouring my outburst. The student becomes the master

Yes, dear, whatever you say dear, with an irritatingly serene smile.
Guaranteed to piss them off.😈

"Watching one YouTube video on a subject does not make you an expert"

To be fair I've got 4 of the buggers and they tend to destroy each other's arguments just to be petty - I don't even need to chip in. I can concentrate my arguments on the important stuff

I have taught them how much I appreciate being told I'm right - occasionally I am proved so I got a 'should have listened to you mum's this week from the 18 year old which will keep me plodding through the rest of the shit for a while.

I remember my mum changed the wi-fi password once when I had been online when I was meant to be asleep (back in the day of pay as you go so couldnt use phone data). Anyway, we were talking about something later and I think I must have rolled my eyes and said "I know" one too many times because my mum said, "yeah, well you dont know the wifi password, do you?" And she wouldn't give me it for days!!

I tend to find using whatever the current teen slang is tends to have them running for the hills. So with one of mine it would be something like him waffling on and on and me replying with whatevs blud, and he would eye roll and go quietly back to his xbox.

Mine isn't quite a teen but "fair enough" or "yeah?" is my standard quite annoying apparently respobbse6

My dad once told my teenage brother, when he was pontificating about something or other, that he could remember when he was covered head to foot with rusks....

Validate their ginormous brains and say 'oh well done clever clogs!', 'I've never heard of that' and 'thank you for informing me of such valuable information!'. I've found it gets the moment over with sooner.

However, for moments where you simply couldn't give less of a shit and want to carry on watching the telly in peace, the eyebrow raise and 'ah' seems to work. Then chug a neat gin and pretend to be asleep.

Best of luck to you- maybe start looking at building a bunker in your garden to hide in.

Buy them a philosophy book on formal logic and require all arguments to be correctly notated and compared and contrasted to the views of at least one major pre-21st C philosopher.

I was this teenager.

I now have an 11 yr old who knows it all.

My stock responses are:
"What's your source for that?"
And
"Mm hmm".

Wow I only have 1 DD (15) and I thought that was bad enough.
It's the withering looks of contempt that get me!

@conjunctionhedge

My youngest seems to want to argue with me about everything. I swear if I said the sky was blue she'd say it was red.

And this is just in day to day conversation

This is where i humour them.

They know full well they are just arguing.

"The sky is blue"
"No it's not it's red"

Looks outside at the sky "oh I stand corrected. It is red. Wish I'd learnt my colours at a young age"

They then feel utterly gutted they have no argument. A)because they know you're right and b) because they know they sound a fool for saying you're right to agree with them because they know they're wrong

Oh God, mine are small and in the questions phase. This sounds even worse!

I bought an Alexa so they could ask her the never-ending stream of consciousness questions. Apparently Alexa is terrifying so now I get "mummy, can you ask Alexa why we have eyelids/where sloths come from/why dogs sneeze?"

My mum's go to response was "if you say so dear" and leave the room 😂

@MayIDestroyYou

Three is too many to argue with.

Only allow them in the house one at a time.

This made me laugh out loud. Thank you

Say 'Yes, dear,' and learn not to give a fuck.

My youngest seems to want to argue with me about everything. I swear if I said the sky was blue she'd say it was red

God this ^. 12 is the worst age so far for me as a parent. I am menopausal and just don't have the patience for anyone's shit.
Lots of tongue biting, counting to 10 and eyebrow raising, and sometimes I just have to tell mine it's best if they go upstairs.
I was a bloody awful know it all teen myself so I guess it's payback time . It's exhausting though, I'd go back to sleepless nights in a heartbeat right now.
I can't imagine having 3 of them at it though, I'd probably be on valium in your shoes OP .

@MayIDestroyYou

Three is too many to argue with.

Only allow them in the house one at a time.

😂 that tickled me!

Iv only one. I say 'that's nice' and I tend to leave the room to do something urgent laundry, washing up etc

DS was a proper know it all in his teens. I used to remind him that I'd taught him to wipe his own arse.