To ask how to help her?

[WildWestLife]

Relative is late 30's but always gets mistaken for late teens or early twenties. She is single with no kids, tiny and extremely young looking face.
She is getting upset at the number of people who straight away assume she is single and living at home even when they do know her age but also when they do not.
She is mature, responsible and dresses for her age. Yet this is really getting her down as she feels people are judging her or speaking negatively about her behind her back. Also the paranoid as to why people automatically assume such things even when they know her age.
How can I help her feel better about this or reframe it in her mind?

Who are these people and why do their assumptions matter?

I would encourage your friend to stop worrying about what others think. She should embrace the fact that she still has youthful looks, while it lasts!

Co workers, people she is meeting.
It isn't just the looking really young assumption that gets to her but also how even when people do know her age, they automatically assume she is single/at home etc. I just wanted to know how I can help her reframe this more positively in her head as it makes her feel really down and paranoid.

How does even being single and living at home even come up into conversation?

It's the questions people ask when they are getting to know you, is it not?
For me, I am happy to answer that as I have my own home, kids, a DP. For someone who doesn't (and who is always assumed not to due to the assumption people make) then it can be embarrassing and upsetting.
As I said, I just want to help her see it in a different light rather then assume that everyone believes she is a failure in life or giving off a very immature, childish vibe.

These 'I'm teeny tiny and look 12' threads are weird enough when it's the actual poster talking about themselves, never mind an outsider wanting to 'help' another person over it. I mean what advice do you want, @WildWestLife? Tell her to take up smoking and pop out 3 kids in quick succession? That will age her right up..

@BrumBoo

These 'I'm teeny tiny and look 12' threads are weird enough when it's the actual poster talking about themselves, never mind an outsider wanting to 'help' another person over it. I mean what advice do you want, *@WildWestLife*? Tell her to take up smoking and pop out 3 kids in quick succession? That will age her right up..

yeah this! Very odd these teeny tiny threads

I'm still not really understanding the issue either - why is she upset when people make general chit chat?

Perhaps she needs to look at why she is asking for help from someone who is willing to paste her stuff on a social media forum and also seems quite happy to make sure everyone knows she has partner, kids and a job while her 'poor' friend only has herself. Ugh. Back out of her life OP and let her discover what she wants herself.

@BrumBoo

These 'I'm teeny tiny and look 12' threads are weird enough when it's the actual poster talking about themselves, never mind an outsider wanting to 'help' another person over it. I mean what advice do you want, *@WildWestLife*? Tell her to take up smoking and pop out 3 kids in quick succession? That will age her right up..

Its a fetish- they pop up all the time Very similar tone.

How bizarre.

@BrumBoo

These 'I'm teeny tiny and look 12' threads are weird enough when it's the actual poster talking about themselves, never mind an outsider wanting to 'help' another person over it. I mean what advice do you want, *@WildWestLife*? Tell her to take up smoking and pop out 3 kids in quick succession? That will age her right up..

I’ve also heard crystal meth is pretty useful if you want to look older..!

OP, I really don’t understand the problem. When I started out in my job, I was asked if I was old enough to be doing it (oh, how I miss those days!). I just smiled and either made a joke about it, or confirmed that yes, my youthful appearance belied decades of experience. You say that your relative is mature. If she’s getting bothered about people asking what seem to be pretty innocuous questions, that suggests quite a level of immaturity.

I know just how she feels, and it is a bit crap. I’m late 30s but have a baby face and nobody ever thinks I’m that old. It’s been a bit better since I became a mum because I at least look knackered and have some grey hairs and a few lines so don’t look quite as young. I still avoid buying alcohol though because I hate being ID’d and I hate when the conversation turns to age because nobody ever thinks I’m late 30s.

At Christmas I got mistaken for my son’s older sister. It’s happened a few times and it’s not flattering, it’s rude and embarrassing.

A few people on this thread are being a bit funny about this but it’s genuinely not nice having people think you’re still a kid. I’m not boasting, it genuinely makes me feel awful.

That's exactly it PP.
It's not just the looking young either. It's the (when knowing her age) they still assume she is single etc. I think that would make most people feel paranoid. All I wanted was some advice as to how to help her but I see I have come to the wrong place.

Name change fail. Didnt want to post under this name as think she comes on here. Please no more replies.

@MiaMarshmallows

Name change fail. Didnt want to post under this name as think she comes on here. Please no more replies.

You posted about it on the 5th May as well

Can you explain the fetish- it really intrigues me?

Is it like making yourself thin in phots and posting them online?

Or making a thin sexy meme when you are neither thin nor sexy?

is it just about feeling good or is their sexual gratification?

You posted about it on the 5th May as well

And started another thread late last year about it. I hope your 'niece' does see this, you're being really odd about her private life.

How can this be a fetish? I'm genuinely asking @MiaMarshmallows please explain