SC and DC birthday celebration

[HeidiHillhouse]

It’s DC birthday soon, not many friends as groups haven’t been on and not yet at nursery.

Instead of a birthday party, I was planning on taking DC to the zoo or something.

SC isn’t here on DC birthday. DH wants me to wait and take DC out when SC is here which is nearly 2 weeks after DC birthday which, to me, sort of defeats the object.

Am I being unreasonable?

SC is included in everything when with us and DC isn’t involved is SC birthday stuff with mum (never here on birthday).

We can’t have SC for DC birthday due to school and distance.

What would you do?

@AnneLovesGilbert

They are both his children, though? He's not placing his child above the OP's child, he's saying, "birthdays are family occasions, let's celebrate with a big day trip out when the child's half sibling can be here."

Yes he is. He’s literally saying the younger child’s birthday celebration isn’t worth doing without the older child present. So one child can have fuss on their day, and presumably get days out with their mum, but the other one can’t and doesn’t get to do things with their mum unless their half sibling is around.

That’s not fair or equal. It’s depriving the resident child of a normal childhood because through no fault of their own they have a half sibling who lives elsewhere and dad doesn’t think they matter on their own.

Ridiculous, dangerous, damaging. And the perfect set up to create resentment in future.

Agree 100%

No you celebrate your DC’s birthday on their birthday.
SC isn’t being neglected by being left out you don’t postpone birthdays to suit the full family.

It's your child's birthday and they shouldn't have to wait to celebrate it, if SC was there at that time then great but they're not. You could plan a little belated outing when SC is next there but the main celebration should be on their birthday! I have a DD and a SC and would probably ask if we could borrow him for a few hours if we were going to the zoo or something on my dd birthday but if he was busy we wouldn't rearrange and would do something else when he was next with us!

Can your DH not make one off arrangements with his ex to have SC that weekend? If not remind him that half term and the summer holidays are right around the corner, he will have plenty of opportunities to take them on outings all together then.

Stand your ground that you want to celebrate on his actual birthday, but if DH is going to strop about it ask your parents or someone else to go with you on the day out instead!

Definitely go to the zoo! You could always have cake with your SC when she next comes over for another little celebration?

Your DH is being a bit of a prick expecting your LO to have to wait 2 weeks for their birthday day out!