Neighbour copying

[SilverSparkle]

Hi all, I’ve lived in the same house for over a decade and never done anything with the gardens. However this year my OH and I decided to do something with them so that we could enjoy them. We decided to do away with the grass in the small front garden and use lovely white pebbles all over with some rocks and potted plants etc. My neighbour who moved in a couple of years ago and doesn’t get on with anyone has pretty much copied our garden ie gone from grass/bark to white stones and a few other ideas from our back garden too. I know it shouldn’t bother me and I really wish it didn’t but it has. I think it’s because she’s a pretty hostile person and doesn’t get on with anyone but also because I was excited about finally doing the garden in our own taste and having it looking different. I’ve been telling myself it’s only a garden and there’s bigger things in life etc. and it’s a compliment but it has still bothered me. Is it unreasonable to feel like this or valid?

Question to those who like matching front gardens - why? What appeals to you about it?

Sounds weird and Stepford-like to me.

Ive lived next to my neighbour for 30+ years and they are serial copiers down to washing the nets, cutting the grass, getting another dog, its a running joke now, see how long it takes for them to do it.

I will swap you for the giant naff lions installed on next doors gateposts. Oh and their light up garden wall, in slowly rotating colours.

@Bluntness100

I think the issue is your garden isn’t unique, it’s fairly ubiquitous, gravelling it is really, really common in small gardens, so it’s a bit like saying I put grass in and she copied me.

It’s great though she must have thought you’re looked nice, but it’s quite possible they were considering it anyway, because it’s not an unusual thing to do.

Yep - your garden is not as ‘yoo-nique’ as you hoped it was.

@Hollyhocksarenotmessy

Question to those who like matching front gardens - why? What appeals to you about it?

Sounds weird and Stepford-like to me.

Stole my thought right there, @Hollyhocksarenotmessy!

I hate this trend for covering gardens in gravel. It's no wonder so many of our native pollinators are in decline.

Bring back the grass

Another vote to bring back the grass

Some people really don't have anything to worry about

What you've described is what we have just done with our little back garden. It's not that unusual, it's fairly popular style and lots of people are doing it.

Your garden sounds very fashionable and mainstream, unless you’ve used those materials in a unique way.

Maybe she had the idea too and you doing it nudged her into action, or she was inspired by yours. Either way at least the styles match!

I think it’s sad you’ve gone for a style so unnatural and damaging to the environment. At a time where habitat destruction is such a talked about topic, people who design their gardens in a way that destroys wildlife/insect habitats come across as naive or not very bright. It’s possible to combine eco friendly with low maintenance and pleasing aesthetics.

Why don’t you re-wild parts of your garden and see if she copies?
Eg a winding ‘path’ of wildflower turf, some live willow trained into an arch, a wildlife pond with heavy native planting around it, alpine plants that are good pollinators and grow amongst the rocks or bark (not sterile planters and pots that she can match). Think of Japanese style gardens with their mix of rocks, water, moss, ornamental trees and plants that give colour all season. Evergreens for winter colour will grow in bark eg blue star juniper against golden conifers and silvery spruce for striking artistic contrast. All you need to do is keep mulching with bark occasionally and trim if they get too big. Make yours into something she can’t copy easily?

You sound hostile and unreasonable, so maybe you're just projecting those qualities on your neighbour OP?

Op has just changed her garden, she is unlikely to want to pay to change it again

On answer to op, is your garden that original? And how long after you did yours did she do hers?

Question to those who like matching front gardens why What appeals to you about it?

It seems to be the norm in our neighbourhood, at least in terms of trees, shrubs, bushes. There’s a nice harmony to it although each front garden is slightly different. The development dates back to the 80s so I suspect the developers bought certain shrubs, trees etc in bulk and planted up the front gardens at the same time. Or maybe the first neighbours to move in shared ideas and cuttings or bulk bought? Eg there are many mature forsythia bushes in yellow and pink, firethorn and boxwood hedges, Japanese holly, tea roses, pink jasmine, magnolia trees, carmellia bushes, purple clematis, winter flowering heathers, white pearl bushes. Seems a bit of a coincidence that 30+ houses (all built in a similar style) had occupants who chose these plants by coincidence.

People who moved into new developments in the 80s, was it a thing to share plants with neighbours or bulk buy together? Curious now.

A street near us has terraced houses with little square patches of front garden (all unfenced) and most of the neighbours there have either used blue slate chips and rockery plants or just left as neatly mowed bits of lawn. One house looks a bit odd as they installed a dark grey plastic wall between with sparkly lights in it, then covered the ground in shingle, but the shingle washes into the road all the time!

I can see the ops issue though to be fair, she is likely very proud of what she’s done and wanted to show off a bit, think everyone would be a bit envious and now the neighbours have it too, kinda takes the shine off if you’re of that mindset.

I also don’t take issue with a small patch of grass coming out and stones and plants going in. Not everything needs to be turfed within an inch of its life. Plenty of wildlife can use what she’s provided. At least she’s not shoved some plastic grass down.

However on saying that, what she’s done is fairly generic, and the neighbours did the right thing in matching the stones to make it all look harmonious, rather than disjointed.

I literally only came on this thread to see if you'd posted a picture. I love a good garden pic.

It is annoying but definitely a compliment to you.

@Hollyhocksarenotmessy

Question to those who like matching front gardens - why? What appeals to you about it?

Sounds weird and Stepford-like to me.

In the uk with houses often looking the same in all the street, it just somehow works. Doesn't have to be an exact match of course.

Where I am from, houses are all different and usually spaced out so it would look really weird there. Except in some new builds.

Where I am people's theoretically match. Knly very few got rid of them tiles council put up originally

Some neighbours are mental

I'm not sure tearing up a small area of turf to put stones down is the environmental catastrophe some are you are accusing us of. We've done this but also built large raised beds all along the edge which are chocks full of shrubs and plants. Which are trimmed by hand not by an electric lawnmower which is a form of pollution in itself surely.

Sorry for typos need more coffee 😁

It sounds like one of our neighbours gardens. What you have done is really not that edgy or dramatically different right now although its new for you. As others have said try and reframe your thinking see it as a compliment and a positive it will improve the look of your street and house.
One of my immediate next door neighbours has had a skip, an unfinished garden wall, a porta loo for workmen and all kinds of rubbish in his front garden for almost a year now so at least you are looking out on tidy white pebbles rather than that.

I remember watch a program where a designer took rows of houses individually owned and created a colour scheme for the row, same with the gardens.

Utterly transformative and substantially improved the value of the individual houses.

The houses still had subtle differences but to the eye the rows were appealingly cohesive.

put some fairy ornaments/miniture gardens around....with fierce protector gnomes and elves on the perimeter