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23 replies

Doublechins · 13/05/2021 19:18

Ok so it's not really AIBU but more is the other parent?

At school pick up today one of the mothers went absolutely ballistic with the teacher because she found out that our 6 year old children get changed for PE in the same classroom so boys and girls together.

The rest of us parents have no issue with this because...they're 6!

So...who's being UR?

OP posts:

TwoAndAnOnion · 13/05/2021 19:20

I'd say she is BU, very U indeed!


bobisbored · 13/05/2021 19:22

I work in a primary school. Our children come to school wearing PE kit because of Covid restrictions at the moment but prior to that, all y5/6 girls and boys were separated to change.


OhTheIronyOfItAll · 13/05/2021 19:22

I’m with you. 6 year olds changing together is fine.
They have pants on so nothing to see and they wouldn’t give it a second thought.
Well, they will now that parent has made it an issue.


AgnesNaismith · 13/05/2021 19:22

She is BU....however, dd2 is still traumatised from when a little boy in her class was getting changed in year 2, turned to face her with no pants on and did a little dance. Totally innocent of course, but still she felt she didn’t need to see it and I can’t help but agree.


Namechangedforthistoday · 13/05/2021 19:23

She’s being unreasonable on two fronts, going ballistic at the teacher and objecting to six year olds getting changed together. If the child was 10 or over I could see the issue


DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 13/05/2021 19:23

Nobody, she may have her own, personal, reasons for being uncomfortable, just as you have your own reasons for being OK about it. Her kid should get the option of getting changed in privacy if she wishes.


TeenMinusTests · 13/05/2021 19:23

It's quite standard for infants to get changed together.
The split more usually happens some time in y4 or 5.


Clymene · 13/05/2021 19:24

Year 5 up should be separate. Before then one room which should be supervised so little boys can't do Willy dances Hmm


BoattoBolivia · 13/05/2021 19:27

This does my head in. When I started teaching in primary schools 26 years ago they ALL changed in the classroom together. Over the years, most schools have separated boys and girls in years 5&6, quite rightly really as they are so much more body aware. This in itself is a logistical nightmare as primary schools don't have spare spaces for this. If you are lucky, you have 2 classes and do or at the same time. Otherwise you have to send one group, unsupervised, to change in the toilets. Not ideal. But for any other year group to separate is just madness! Space? Supervision? Arrhgghh!


BoattoBolivia · 13/05/2021 19:29

Obviously if an individual child has an individual issue, that is discussed, then they can usually be accommodated.


Whatwouldscullydo · 13/05/2021 19:31

Nobody, she may have her own, personal, reasons for being uncomfortable, just as you have your own reasons for being OK about it. Her kid should get the option of getting changed in privacy if she wishes


Luckily they go to school in pe kits at the moment buy imo they separate separate far too late. I think the start of juniors is probably the best time.

I remember in yr 4/5 dd1 and a group of girls would go off to the kitchen to get changed as they didn't want to changed with the boys.


Cipot · 13/05/2021 19:32

You don't know her history so I wouldn't judge. If you have a DC who has been abused it can make you very anxious about things like this.


kowari · 13/05/2021 19:33

I find it ridiculous that they have to change for PE at primary age. DS went to primary overseas and they wore polo and shorts or tracksuit bottoms with trainers on PE days (the same but with the option of a skirt or summer dress on other days). Just seems like an inconvenience and a waste of time to me.


HughGrantsHair · 13/05/2021 19:35

6 year olds, you're talking Yr1 or 2. The parent was being unreasonable as it's extremely normal for children that age to change together. Junior classes are more likely to separate. But even if she had a genuine reason to be concerned, she went about it the wrong way. Going ballistic at the end of the day, in front of all the parents is U.


BasinHaircut · 13/05/2021 19:38

I don’t understand why they make primary age kids change for PE anyway. They run around all break/lunch anyway. What’s the difference!

Our school is also going in in PE kit on PE days now and we have been informed this will continue post-COVID, which I am pleased about.


arethereanyleftatall · 13/05/2021 19:38

She is being unreasonable. Both for her point (because actually it's this type of behaviour which makes children think there's something going on when then they previously hadn't given it a second thought) and secondly for shouting at a teacher. What a horrible thing to do.


Doublechins · 13/05/2021 20:03

So they are year 1 just to be totally clear.

I think it just got the backs up of some of us who had boys in the class because the way she was making it out was like they were little sexual predators which is ridiculous because they are 6 years old Fgs.

Honestly the way she went on was ridiculous the teachers were actually stood there with jaws to the floor because she was massively kicking off.

For context I have older children in the school and the only year which are separated to change are year 6.

OP posts:

Flowerlane · 13/05/2021 20:27

I think up to year 5 is fine. Year 5/6 some children already are starting puberty and noticing body changes that’s when they should be separated.

Since covid we have been asked that children come to school in their pe kits on their pe day.

Honestly can not understand why this has never been the norm before covidConfused children are ready straight away for the pe lesson and their is no faffing around getting changed especially for the young ones who find getting changed hard and take a long time.


HattieBlue · 13/05/2021 20:29

It seems to be pretty standard practice (gyms, shopping centres etc) that kids over 8yrs should go in the correct toilets (assuming NT etc) therefore I would expect over 8yrs to be segregated changing in school. But infants not worried. Girls bodies can start to change from 8yrs therefore would expect separate changing for then.


newnortherner111 · 13/05/2021 20:30

If the parent has such a bad temper, I would be concerned that a child is being taken in a car by someone whose bad temper increased the chance of a car crash, as I doubt they will be calm five minutes later.


kowari · 13/05/2021 20:33

For context I have older children in the school and the only year which are separated to change are year 6. That's much too old in my opinion. I'd want them separated from year 3. We had separate sleeping and changing provision in Cub Scouts.


FelicityPike · 13/05/2021 20:38

We only stopped getting changed all together when we were in P7!
To be fair I now think that’s a bit late, but no one cared and that was in the late 80’s.


TeenMinusTests · 14/05/2021 08:55

I think if she had a specific reason to be worried due to her personal history then she could ask politely for her DD to get changed separately, but 'going ballistic' is not reasonable, especially in front of other parents.

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