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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Colleague or managers being sneaking?

50 replies

LittleBlackSox · 13/05/2021 18:09

Part of our job involves taking phone calls, we have a rota where at least 3 people will work until the phone lines are closed.

Colleague messaged me today to say would I mind if she didn’t do the phone lines as she has managed to get a last minute hospital appointment for a long standing health issue. If I do mind then she will try and get cover (no one is going to cover a Friday shift)

Firstly I’m not a manager and I’m the same level as her so it’s not up to me to be ok with anything she does. It’s a management issue to approve it and get cover.

Essentially no one could reasonably say no I’m not ok with you going to hospital. So she’s either done that to go to the managers and say “see the other two don’t mind me leaving” or the managers requested she do it so they wouldn’t have to bother finding cover.

Aibu to be annoyed I’ve been put in that position? Work is awful at the moment without having extra work to do because you’re short staffed.

OP posts:

Northernsoullover · 13/05/2021 18:11

Can you have your own crisis? Parent/child/vet. Maybe I sound mean spirted but I'm old and selfish.

AmyFl · 13/05/2021 18:11

It is inappropriate for a colleague to be putting this onto you- like you say it's just not your role.

TokyoSushi · 13/05/2021 18:11

How much later do you have to stay? On the face of it, it doesn't sound like that big a deal...

Newmama29 · 13/05/2021 18:11

I put YABU because if this is a once off occasion then you’re really helping a colleague out & swings & roundabouts & all 🤷🏼‍♀️ You never know when you’ll need that reciprocated so in my experience it’s nice to be helpful in these situations. If this is a regular occurrence then YANBU.

PinkMice · 13/05/2021 18:13

Can’t you say something like:
“Good luck at the hospital! Can you just let the managers know so they can get cover? You know what it’s been like lately.”

insancerre · 13/05/2021 18:14

Yabu
Unless you would never ask a favour from a work colleague

Original poster

LittleBlackSox · 13/05/2021 18:15

My issue is that it’s nothing to do with me. If she needs time off then the manager needs to be ok with it and sort cover.

But by coming directly to me then it’s either for her to say to the managers they are ok with it so managers have no reason to say no. Or the managers are just lazy and knew they wouldn’t get cover so can be like well you said you were ok with it.

OP posts:

mainsfed · 13/05/2021 18:18

YANBU. What did you say to her?

Original poster

LittleBlackSox · 13/05/2021 18:18

@insancerre

Yabu Unless you would never ask a favour from a work colleague

It’s not a favour though. A favour would be changing my shift to cover her.

It’s an issue for the managers to agree and resolve.

OP posts:

Original poster

LittleBlackSox · 13/05/2021 18:19

@mainsfed

YANBU. What did you say to her?

I said it was fine. Can’t imagine anyone would say no.

OP posts:

JustCatting · 13/05/2021 18:20

I get what you're saying op. By mentioning the hospital appt she's put you in a position where it's harder to say no.

How does one even get a last minute hospital appt these days unless a limb is hanging off? Do you think she's telling the truth?

Atalantea · 13/05/2021 18:20

Surely she was checking if you had an issue first??

I would reply, sure when you tell manager you have apt, tell them it's not a problem

TheresNothingIWantMore · 13/05/2021 18:21

Is she just asking you first so when she goes to the manager she can say "littleblacksox said she can cover me"?

Rockbird · 13/05/2021 18:21

Well it's going to impact you so I would think it was courtesy to let you know. I'd be pissed off if a colleague wasn't there for a shift and hadn't mentioned it.

Beseigedbykillersquirrels · 13/05/2021 18:21

It seems a little like you're reading too much into it. Colleague is obviously anxious to attend the appointment and wants it to cause as little disruption as possible. She probably felt management would be less likely to be difficult about it if she had shown that she has tried to organise cover herself. I wouldn't immediately think there is some underhand or sneaky stuff going on.

WorraLiberty · 13/05/2021 18:25

I said it was fine. Can’t imagine anyone would say no.

Instead of...

it’s nothing to do with me. If she needs time off then the manager needs to be ok with it and sort cover.

Huh??

Wetcappuccino · 13/05/2021 18:26

If she didn’t ask you first and went straight to the manager, would you complain that it was being imposed on you? In my opinion, she did the right thing in asking if you had an objection before approaching the manager. Come and go between colleagues is good - as long as she reciprocates.

Original poster

LittleBlackSox · 13/05/2021 18:27

@Rockbird

Well it's going to impact you so I would think it was courtesy to let you know. I'd be pissed off if a colleague wasn't there for a shift and hadn't mentioned it.

But it’s not my business. Genuinely. She doesn’t need to share any information with me regarding her personal life. It’s not up to me to be ok with someone working the same role as me leaving work early.

If someone needs time off then that’s where it’s delegated to a manager for them to approve, communicate it out and ensure the team still has support.

OP posts:

Suzi888 · 13/05/2021 18:27

Swap shifts, she can pay you back.

Original poster

LittleBlackSox · 13/05/2021 18:30

@Suzi888

Swap shifts, she can pay you back.

I can’t because I’m doing the same shift. So I’m in work regardless of whether she’s there or not.

OP posts:

romdowa · 13/05/2021 18:32

@JustCatting

I get what you're saying op. By mentioning the hospital appt she's put you in a position where it's harder to say no.

How does one even get a last minute hospital appt these days unless a limb is hanging off? Do you think she's telling the truth?

I got an emergency ent appointment a few weeks ago with less than 24 hours notice. So it does happen if they get a cancellation

MimiSunshine · 13/05/2021 18:33

Are you due to be covering on Friday or will you lie have to?

I i ow you’ve already replied but her message wasn’t really that clear whether she was asking you to cover her so I’d have played dumb and said something like “I’m not covering Friday, but I’m sure the managers will understand Why you explain you can’t do it. Good luck with the appointment.”

UhtredRagnarson · 13/05/2021 18:37

I would have just put it back on her saying “you need to go through management to approve this and arrange cover.”

OhTheIronyOfItAll · 13/05/2021 18:51

@JustCatting

I get what you're saying op. By mentioning the hospital appt she's put you in a position where it's harder to say no.

How does one even get a last minute hospital appt these days unless a limb is hanging off? Do you think she's telling the truth?

DH just got a call for an appointment with only 2 days notice, it happens.

I get it OP, awful to put it on you but then I’m miserable because I’m done with my work. I’m sick of staying late at work too!

wheresmymojo · 13/05/2021 19:00

Honestly your issue here is that you haven't stuck to your own boundaries.

If you genuinely felt it was off then you should have said "I think the process is to raise requests like this with our line manager, hope you feel better soon"

Rather than do things you're dead set against and then feeling all passive aggressive about it.

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